Love Lift Us Up Where We Belong

Love lift us up where we belong. 

Where the eagles fly, on a mountain high!

Isaiah 40:31 (KJV) 

"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew [their] strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; [and] they shall walk, and not faint."

#marriage #love #Jesus #eagles #DontGrowWeary #DRM #Woman2Woman

Healing a Broken Marriage

www.DeborahRossMinistries.org 

Love is a Verb - Love Never Fails

Ask God to help you LOVE the unlovable... even if it's your spouse.

Love is an ACTION, not a feeling.

God's love changes things.

God's love being manifested in your ACTIONS changes things.

Don't say, "I tried that and it didn't work."

God DID NOT say, "TRY to love the unlovable."

God DID SAY, "live a lifestyle of loving."

Love suffers long.

How long?

As long as it takes.

GOD'S LOVE NEVER FAILS.

Do you show forth God's love?

Broken people do broken things.

Sinners sin.

Try praying for the salvation of your spouse.

Separation is not good. It gives the devil more room to work.

Separation is only good as a last resort, or in the case of physical abuse.

Separation does not mean divorce.

Why be so quick to quit? God's timetable and your timetable are not the same.

Never allow physical abuse to harm you or your children.

Ask God the root of the problem.

Pray for the root cause to be healed. Believe for God's best.

God hates divorce; because, divorce hurts people.

But you say, "I'm hurting, so I want a divorce."

In most cases, divorce doesn't solve the problem, it only changes the problem.

Patience. Time. Wait on the Lord.

The devil is after your seed (your children).

The devil loves divorce because he gains access to the souls (mind, will and emotions) of your children - perhaps for a lifetime.

Continue to LOVE in spite of the pain.

God is FOR your marriage.

God is FOR your family.

God is FOR the souls of men.

Maybe... you were CALLED for "such a time as this?"

Will you say, "If I perish, I perish?"

This DOES NOT mean a physical death. But, maybe some things, some agendas, some plans, some careers need to be laid on the altar for a season to the saving of your family.

DIE TO SELF.

Marriage is not easy.

Your marriage should be a reflection of your covenant relationship with the Lord.

Does God give up on you?

Would you quit your relationship with the Lord if your blessings dry up?

Would you ever divorce your children if they were in gross rebellion?

Is your spouse not just as much a part of your life as your children?

Love Never Fails. - 1 Corinthians 13:8

YES, THIS IS A MARRIAGE 911 CALL.

Fight the good fight of faith.

Be careful who you let speak into your life.

If you want to win the battle, get counsel from someone who has been there and won.

The devil is crafty. He uses "words" to convince God's children to quit.

Your family, your testimony, your future, your life is worth the fight.

Don't quit!

THE BATTLE IS THE LORD's!

"Well done thou good and faithful servant."

Deborah Ross Ministries

*Disclosures:

1) If you are already divorced, there is no condemnation. Pray and ask God to heal everyone involved (including your ex, the third party and your children). 

2)This post is intended to save marriages.

3) If you are divorced and praying for reconciliation, we will believe with you, and for you.

4) If you are in a physically abusive relationship, please get help immediately.

#ThinkAboutIt #DivorceStinks #LoveNeverFails #SuchATimeAsThis#Legacy #Family #Love

Deborah Ross Ministries

Healing a Broken Marriage

#Woman2Woman

Revelation 12:11 (KJV) - And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; AND THEY LOVED NOT THEIR LIFE UNTO THE DEATH.

This means, GIVE IT TO GOD... DON'T BE SO CONCERNED WITH YOUR PERSONAL HAPPINESS AND COMFORT RIGHT NOW... GO ALL IN FOR THE VICTORY!

Free fall into God's Kingdom. Cast your care upon Him, for He cares for you!

www.HealingABrokenMarriage.com

www.DeborahRossMinistries.org

Facebook: /DeborahRossMinistries

Twitter: @DeborahRoss_DRM

Look for the Save It Marriage Ministry

#RealTalk #Woman2Woman #SaveItMarriageMinistry #MotherInZion

Communication is Key

As many of you know, I teach marriage classes each week at my church and I also offer Biblical counseling in my office. One thing I find to be a common thread in resolving marital conflict is the need for better communication skills.

Learning to communicate better with your spouse is really just the practice of being more like Jesus in your everyday life. With that being said, there are a few key phrases to remember when it comes to communication:

• Listen More
• Talk Less
• Stop Accusing 
• Be Honest
• Speak the Truth in Love
• Give Undivided Attention
• Care About the Thoughts and Feelings of Your Spouse
• Get Rid of the "I" and Focus on "The Lord"
• Leave the Final Outcome in God's Hands

Let's start with listening more and talking less.

So often, I find that one - or both - in the relationship talks waaaay toooo muuch! First of all, you don't need to give a play-by-play of every detail of why you are upset about a situation. Learn to use fewer words with greater impact. Learn to have a conversation that is two way... not one-way. Practice listening to your spouses heart. Then, if you still disagree, make your case with kind words that don't need to be said in book form. Less is often more in effective conflict resolution.

Now, if you want your spouse to hear you out, DO NOT speak with accusations and tones of sarcasm.

What would Jesus do? Would He tear down or build up? Jesus would be honest and He would speak the truth in a loving way. Granted, there were times that Jesus spoke with authority and righteous anger, but that was always a last resort. And, even so, He didn't go on... and on... and on. Learn to speak your peace and then be quiet. Silence really is golden at appointed times.

When listening to your spouse, learn to really listen and really care about their thoughts.

Practice stopping. Lay down the gadgets. Turning off the TV.  Learn to sit down and L-I-S-T-E-N. There is something really sweet in giving your undivided attention to your husband, or wife, on a daily basis. While this may seem impossible to do during the course of a busy, hectic day, it CAN be practiced in the first 30 minutes, or last 30 minutes, of your day when a habit of being INTENTIONAL about your marriage is put into place.

The biggest problem facing couples today is the self-centered, broken soul who is always looking to fulfill the "I" instead of the "US."

Ask God to help you empty yourself of selfish ambition to embrace the team work of family. Really, our Christian walk should be a life of emptying ourselves of the "I" and filling ourselves with "Him." Transform your mind with God's Word and pray that the Lord will help you to empty your selfishness and embrace your "two becoming oneness."

Lastly, learn to leave the outcome in God's hands.

The Bible says, having done all... STAND. There is a time to speak and there is a time to keep quiet. Many couples never let their words marinate in the heart of their spouse because they operate in fear instead of faith. In doing so, they end up badgering their spouse and therefore dulling their hearing. God is more than able to play your words over and over in the mind of your spouse if you deliver those words correctly and then bathe those words in prayer. Learn to Trust God!

In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve were naked and unashamed before sin entered the picture. They were not only physically naked, but they were also completely transparent in their thoughts. The goal of a good marriage is to be naked and unashamed with each other - in every way. It may not happen overnight (no pun intended), but as you learn to participate with God in your communication skills, your marriage can grow into one that is transparent, loving, pure and joyful in your everyday LIFE.

Join me on Facebook at:

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Website:

www.DeborahRossMinistries.org

Making America Great Again!

Making America Great Again... one life at a time!

Yes, people who know God, study His word, and are free from the demons of their past represent Americans who vote!

While the election may be over, the work has just begun!

Join our mission to impact culture, by bringing hope and healing to THOSE AROUND YOU who are desperate for a life-line.

Deborah Ross Ministries, Inc., touched millions of lives last year through national conferences, radio, TV, books, prison outreach, one-to-one mentoring, Internet outreach and through local classes. We saw over 250 professions of faith, over 50 marriages healed, and we layed hands on over 500 hurting souls with personal prayer for healing and deliverance in 2016.

YOU can make a difference in the lives of those you pass by on the streets, those you work with, those you go to church with, your neighbor and, perhaps, even a family member. DRM is Saving Souls. Transforming Lives. Healing Hearts, Minds and Marriages with THE WORD.

HELP US FINISH 2016 STRONG. 

Thank you for your prayerful gift of any amount. 100% of all donations goes toward soul winning, discipleship, 911 marriage rescue, prison outreach, radio outreach, printed materials outreach and more.

That's how we Make America Great Again! Give them hope, help and healing... and above all... LOVE!

Thank you so much for helping us continue our mission to impact YOUR WORLD with the good news of Christ!

Together, we can reach even more SOULS in 2017!


ONE TIME GIFT

www.DeborahRossMinistries.org 

A Standers Affirmation

I AM STANDING FOR THE HEALING OF MY MARRIAGE!…

I will not give up, give in, give out or give over ’til that healing takes place. I made a vow, I said the words, I gave the pledge, I gave a ring, I took a ring, I gave myself, I trusted GOD, and said the words, and meant the words… in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in good times and in bad…so I am standing NOW, and will not sit down, let down, slow down, calm down, fall down, look down or be down ’til the breakdown is torn down!

I refuse to put my eyes on outward circumstances, or listen to prophets of doom, or buy into what is trendy, worldly, popular, convenient, easy, quick, thrifty, or advantageous… nor will I settle for a cheap imitation of God’s real thing, nor will I seek to lower God’s standard, twist God’s will, rewrite God’s word, violate God’s covenant, or accept what God hates, namely divorce!

In a world of filth, I will stay pure; surrounded by lies I will speak the truth; where hopelessness abounds, I will hope in God: where revenge is easier, I will bless instead of curse; and where the odds are stacked against me, I will trust in God’s faithfulness.

I am a STANDER, and I will not acquiesce, compromise, quarrel or quit. I have made the choice, set my face, entered the race, believed the Word, and trusted God for all the outcome.

I will allow neither the reaction of my spouse, nor the urging of my friends, nor the advice of my loved ones, nor economic hardship, nor the prompting of the devil to make me let up, slow up, blow up, or give up ’til my marriage is healed.

– Author Unknown

Popular Quotes by Deborah Ross

FORGIVENESS is a PROCESS that begins with a DECISION.

It's better to die in FAITH than to live in fear, doubt and unbelief.

It's better to die while believing to be healed, than to live while believing to die.

God wants YOUR FAMILY whole!

God wants YOU whole!

God is FOR your marriage!

Somebody must go FIRST.

Obedience to God's Word creates fertile ground for a miracle!

God hates divorce because divorce hurts people.  He does NOT hate divorced people.

In marriage, there are no "what if's"; there is only "what is."

A pattern of dissatisfaction is probably a result of bad choices.  Change your thinking and change your direction.  Follow Him.

The little choices we make each day either fertilize our God-given destiny or breed road blocks, dead ends and detours in our journey.

Church: Do we go to be seen of people; or, do we go to see God?

When you fall in love with Jesus, your spouse will notice.

Broken people do broken things.

Sinners sin.  That's all they know.

It's better to reach for the stars and only make it to the moon, than to never leave earth.
(Vision, Purpose, Destiny)

The little choices we make each day make up the sum total of our life as it is right now.

Life is about CHOICES.

We aren't set free from the bondage of sin only to become entangled with religion.

  

Attitude of Gratitude

Have you "shown" your gratitude lately?

John F. Kennedy said, "As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them." Yes, the proof is in the pudding: Not the having of a thankful heart, but rather, the doing of a thankful heart!

While many are happy to talk about their appreciation for another, very few will actually demonstrate their thankfulness through kind deeds, gifts and generous giving. Even Jesus had a situation where he healed ten lepers, but only one turned back to thank Him.

Let's look at LUKE 17:11-19:

"On the way to Jerusalem he was passing along between Samaria and Galilee. And as he entered a village, he was met by ten lepers, who stood at a distance and lifted up their voices, saying, “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us.” When he saw them he said to them, “Go and show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went they were cleansed. Then one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice; and he fell on his face at Jesus' feet, giving him thanks. Now he was a Samaritan. Then Jesus answered, “Were not ten cleansed? Where are the nine? Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?” And he said to him, “Rise and go your way; your faith has made you well.” (ESV)

In verse 19, the King James Version actually says... "thy faith hath made thee whole." Friend, all ten of these lepers were cleansed but only one was made WHOLE! The one who turned back and gave thanks was restored to complete health. He was the one that Jesus noticed and praised for his faith in the power of God.

So often, we forget to show our gratitude toward those who have helped us, encouraged us, prayed for us and taught us in our journey of faith. Never-the-less, the Lord has set up a heavenly system through which He measures the attitude of our heart. In fact, God's divine litmus test for our faith is in direct correlation to our attitude of gratitude. And... our attitude of gratitude is clearly defined by our giving. Likewise, our faith is revealed by our actions. Clearly, the message of Luke 17 is that Jesus is seeking those who will demonstrate their gratitude by turning back and showing their appreciation. 

If you are a child of God, always remember to tithe to your local church. Ten percent of your income is God's - not yours. God says He will rebuke the devils devouring schemes when you are a faithful tither and He promises to open the windows of heaven and pour out blessings - so many blessings that you will not have room enough to contain them all.

But... if you really want to see wholeness and favor... if you really want to make all of heaven take note... if you really want to see God do multiplication in your finances - GIVE ABOVE AND BEYOND THE TITHE! Practice giving to those in need. Practice philanthropy. Practice turning back and showing gratitude toward those who have sown into your life.

One way that you can show gratitude for the things the Lord has done for you is by supporting a ministry who is continually working to bring healing and hope to people - just like you!

Did you know that this ministry is delivering help, hope and healing by sharing God's love around the world on a daily basis? We are busy reaching people by:

*Going into the prisons

*Teaching marriage classes and conferences

*Ministering freedom to those who are addicted to alcohol, drugs or other substance

*Helping individuals break free from a generational curse

*Supporting orphans in India and Pakistan

*Producing and airing radio and television teachings (we DO NOT get paid to do radio & TV - it actually cost us money to spread the gospel this way)

*Developing, publishing and distributing materials that disciple the body of Christ
...

Friend, not everyone can "go". Not everyone can dedicate their life to full-time ministry. Not everyone is gifted to teach. Not everyone is patient enough or brave enough to minister to those who are less fortunate or even in prison.  By the grace of God, I have been called to "do" these things but it is only by your financial support, prayers, and words of encouragement that the fuel supply for my vision is made complete. A hand clap is just not enough. Action is needed by friends, followers, family and former students who believe in the work of the Lord through this ministry.

Has this ministry been beneficial to YOU in any way? Have you been taught the importance of forgiveness; been encouraged in your faith; or, maybe you even became a born-again believer through the anointing of this ministry? Did I visit you in prison - whether literal or spiritual? Has your faith or knowledge of the Word grown in any way as a result of my teachings? Perhaps your marriage or family has been restored. Or, maybe your heart is being healed as a result of the teachings of this ministry. Are you a better wife, mom, husband or father because of the teachings of this ministry? Did I speak at a conference you attended and something that I taught made a huge impact upon your life? Have I ever mentored you in any way? Maybe you know someone who would benefit from the voice, hands and feet of this ministry? Would you be willing to sow into a ministry that you'd like to see help your family or your friends? Would you sow into this ministry because you want to see others reap the benefits of wholeness in Christ? Maybe, you would give to this ministry just because you believe in the calling upon my life - you have witnessed my faithfulness throughout the years?

God "is" bringing salvation through our work! He is restoring marriages and families! He is freeing those who are addicted! He is encouraging the broken-hearted! He is strengthening the Body of Christ! And... He is using YOU to empower ME to spread the good news!

Will YOU commit to just $5.00 as a one time gift or monthly way of saying, "THANK YOU, Deborah. Press On, Deborah! I am behind you, Deborah!" A monthly or one time gift of any size is a HUGE blessing! Or, maybe you can give more? Whatever the Lord lays upon your heart to do, know that your turning back and saying THANK YOU is noticed by the Lord and greatly appreciated by me.  

GIVE NOW

Thank you for making a difference in the lives of others AND thank you for encouraging ME as I continue to press on with Kingdom purposes and vision. 100% of your giving goes to support the ministry. Your gift(s) are tax deductible.

2 Corinthians 9:6

"But this I say, He which sows sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he which sows bountifully shall reap also bountifully."

God's rewards are great for those who connect their giving to their worship!  

Don't miss your blessing!

GIVE NOW

*Deborah Ross Ministries is a non-profit 501 c 3 organization and all donations are tax deductible as allowed by law.

CO-ED MARRIAGE BIBLE STUDY VIDEO WITH DEBORAH ROSS

This 1 hour video teaching is an unplugged co-ed marriage Bible study class from my Save It! Marriage Bible Study Series (Fall 2012). Includes: Taking Thoughts Captive... Motives... Trusting God... Family Order... Standing Strong... Submitting to Each Other... Love Never Fails.

Grab a cup of coffee and sit down to a time with the Lord as I encourage your faith today for a healthy marriage.

Marriage or Divorce?

 

Dealing with Unfaithfulness

Dear Child of God:

I get emails and phone calls all the time from those suffering in marital hardships who are looking for hope in their seemingly bleak situation. The question below is one that I received by email and I'd like to share it with all of you as a Remnant Woman writes the following...

Question:

How do you stand for a marriage when your husband just uses you and cares nothing about you? Especially when you show them unconditional love and they know you are standing so they use that to their advantage. What kind of self respect can you have for yourself to allow yourself to be used like that? Especially when your husband is sleeping with other people and telling them lies about you? Wouldn't God want you to be free to move on and live a new life? My husband isn't sorry for what he has done.

My Reply:
My heart breaks for you. I know it is very difficult to live, day-to-day, with a broken heart that bleeds, because of betrayal from your spouse.

I will offer you this one Biblical escape from your torment, but I must also add that this is not necessarily God's best. In Matthew 19 Jesus tells the Pharisees that divorce is permitted in the case of adultery; but, He also adds that divorce is permitted because of the "hardness of our hearts." Even if you divorce your spouse, you must still forgive him (or her)... I mean truly forgive. Remember, God sees the heart. While others may not be able to see the bitterness that can be tucked away in a person's soul for many years (even a lifetime) - God sees it all.

As one who has overcome marital adversity, it is my conclusion that if I must forgive my husband, I'd rather fight for his salvation (aiming to win the whole prize: our marriage, his salvation, and my clean heart) than to face the arduous task of trying to truly forgive after a bitter divorce.

God will use us as vessels of Himself as we stand in the gap for those who are lost and living in darkness. Your spouse is obviously lost and living in darkness. While it is very painful to love someone who is unlovable, we are also told that learning to love our enemies is what makes us more like Christ (Matthew 5:44, Luke 6:27, Luke 6:35).

1 Corinthians 13:8 says that "Love Never Fails." While praying for your spouse, be sure to mix your faith with your Christ-like actions.  It is important to speak the truth about God's Word and and the truth about sin... but not in a nagging way.  Sweeping things under the rug is not going to make it go away.

In addition, you'll need to live as an example of Christ before your mate's eyes.  Most importantly, you must forgive. God will soften the heart of your spouse as you create fertile ground for your miracle through your obedience to the Holy Spirit. It is not a quick fix. You will need to ask yourself many times over if you can withstand the challenge of this spiritual warfare, knowing that the devil will not back down easily.

As you ask the Holy Spirit for His daily guidance and protection, while placing yourself in the strong hand of God, He will take care of you; guiding you step by step through the process of this dark valley. God is all-knowing and all-powerful. He knows exactly what it will take for your husband /wife to surrender and repent of their sins. God will use you as a vessel of light as you completely surrender to His pathway to wholeness for your family. Most importantly, you'll need to trust that your faith in God's Word will bring forth the promise of a restored marriage with a born-again spouse.

Many people come to the conclusion that someone will never change and so they give up the fight. I like to say, how long would you believe for the salvation of your child? How long would you commit to being the parent of your child if they were in rebellion and sinning against you? Is your husband any more disposable than your child?

God does not want any to perish. He wants everyone to become a born-again Child of God. God does not want any marriage to end in divorce. He wants all families to remain whole. Knowing this, you can pray with confidence, knowing that God is on your side. The waiting and the suffering is not fun, but it is what every Christian goes through at some point or another - in some area of their faith.

Romans 5:1-5

Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:

By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.

 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;

 And patience, experience; and experience, hope:

 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

When we suffer for righteousness sake, God works out things in our own lives that, perhaps, we didn't even know needed attention. He molds us and shapes us to be more like Himself as we surrender our will, to His. Though our surrender may be extremely painful for a season, we don't do it as one who has no hope. Instead, we do it knowing that God is faithful and He will not make us ashamed in the end.

We cannot change our spouse, but God can... and He wants to! I want to encourage you to pray the Women's Marriage Prayer, daily.  (Marriage Prayer for Men) Also, I currently have my audio message of Faith, Forgiveness, Future posted at the bottom of this blog that you can freely listen to for encouragement - right from your computer. My teaching series of Root Digger, Not a Rug Sweeper (available on my web-site) is another valuable tool of encouragement that will help you during this season of pain. Finally, I have a new book titled, Healing a Broken Marriage: Love Never Fails . I highly recommend these resources, as they may prove vital to the outcome of your journey.

Again, you are ultimately the only one who can decide how to handle your situation. Divorce is permitted... but, it is not necessarily the best way. Ask the Lord to show you what to do - day by day - and He will. He loves you AND He loves your husband. He wants each of you born-again and set free from the bondage of sin.

Romans 5

"Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us."

______________________

Then, another Remnant Woman writes...

As a "seasoned Christian," I actually pray for God's refining fires however, when they come in by way of infidelity I find that I fail the test every time. When I found out about the last incident, that happened between my husband and my brother's wife, I thought I would lose my mind. I shut down in every area of life and depression took over. I felt like a lousy Christian because I was consumed by grief. I felt like the Lord would never be able to use me again. I had always been committed to my family in spite of the infidelities, however, this one had crossed the family lines. What made matters worse was she had just lost her mother to cancer the same month I found out and had gained all the other family members sympathy in spite of her indiscretion. I was told to just "drop it and forgive and forget." There would be no accountability, how was I to handle that? I was at the end of my rope, I just couldn't take anymore of anything. The pain inside was unbearable, so much so that I began cutting on myself just to relieve it! What kind of Christian cuts herself to relieve pain when she should be turning to Jesus for comfort and healing? The joy of the Lord is supposed to be my strength! I began to doubt my own salvation. Then the tears of remorse began to wash over me as I remembered the day I was saved and baptized with the fire of the Holy Spirit. There was no denying that to be true. Then the guilt of conviction kicked in, that I had abused my own vessel, God's temple, making me feel worse. Oh, would this merry-go-round of emotion, grief, and conviction ever stop? What was I missing in the lesson that I had to endure the pain of infidelity a fifth time? What are you trying to teach me Lord? I prayed, "Lord, please send me a teacher who will make it all make sense. Surround me with your "spirit-filled" people that will gently walk me through this trial so that I can be victorious this time." This is where your book found it's way into my hands and I rejoiced and cried as I read it. I said to myself, "This woman has the answers I seek Lord! She has Your wisdom Lord. Your Word is in her mouth and you have taken her on a similar journey and she has come out victorious!" Truly, Deborah, had it not been for your book, I would still be spinning on the merry-go-round in darkness trying to find the off switch. Thank you for shining your light through my darkness so I could "find" and "hit" the off switch! You gave me clarity where I could only see darkness. Glory be to God and may He bless your ministry ten thousand fold!

_________________________

 

Final Words from Deborah:

 

 

To God be the Glory for every marriage restored, every broken heart mended, and every tormented mind that receives the peace of God.

This blog entry is a re-post from 2009 with some editing.  This topic seems to be the most popular title to date.  I am believing for your marriage restoration.  Remember, God has a remedy for those trapped in an unequally yoked marriage... glorious salvation for all.

In Christ,

Deborah Ross

Deborah Ross Ministries, Inc.

Strengthening Families; Encouraging Faith; Preaching the Gospel

http://www.deborahrossministries.org/

Being Strong and of Good Courage in Marriage

1 Chronicles 22:13


Then shalt thou prosper, if thou takest heed to fulfil the statutes and judgments which the LORD charged Moses with concerning Israel: be strong, and of good courage; dread not, nor be dismayed.

When you think of someone who is brave, what comes to your mind?  Do you think of a soldier who is not afraid to invade enemy territory?  Maybe you visualize a skydiver who thinks nothing of jumping from an airplane.  Often times you may stand in amazement at the person who is not afraid to take on a "bigger than life" project.  Or, perhaps your thoughts of bravery imagine someone who has the confidence to speak before large crowds of people.  For some, being brave simply means not being afraid of the dark. 

In the word of God, we are admonished, over-and-over again, to trust the Lord in all things.  Trusting in God requires faith.  When we act upon our faith - by obeying the voice of the Lord - we step out into the unknown, which requires bravery.  Then, once we move toward acquiring what the Lord says we can have, we must remain strong and of good courage so that the devil's sure resistance (which tries to thwart God's promises) won't cause us to back down from our obedience. 

Did you know that marriage requires us to be strong and of good courage?  From the moment we say "I Do" and throughout our entire journey of life's ups and downs, marriage requires bravery!

Let's think, first, about the obstacles in life that tend to cause many marriages to dissolve:  communication problems, financial problems, sexual problems, children problems, in-law problems, agreement problems, spiritual/church problems, addiction problems, sickness problems, adultery problems, lack of team work problems... and the list goes on.  The devil comes up with nothing new.  He throws the same stumbling blocks across the path of every marriage.  Why?  Because marriage is a sacred covenant ordained of God that brings multiplication to His Kingdom.  Godly marriages produce a lineage of faith and so the devil tries everything in his power to destroy God's formula for creating generational blessings upon the earth. 

Joshua 1:6


Be strong and of a good courage: for unto this people shalt thou divide for an inheritance the land, which I sware unto their fathers to give them.

So, what is a person to do when faced with crippling hardships in their marriage?  The answer:  FIGHT!  Now, we are never instructed to fight against flesh and blood.  Instead, the Lord teaches us to war against principalities, powers, and rulers of the darkness.  When we fully understand the Lord's desire for us to trust in His love, we will then be able to free-fall into the arms of our faith knowing that His promises not only can, but will, bring healing and blessing to our marriage.  God is "for" our marriage.  He is "for" our family.  The Lord is "for" the salvation of every person and He wants every marriage to inherit a land that is flowing with milk and honey.

In Numbers 13, when Moses sends twelve spies out to report back about the Promised Land of Canaan, ten of the twelve came back with fear and doubt.  Yes, they saw a land that flowed with milk and honey just as God had promised.  Yet, because they also saw giants in the land, they assumed that it would be impossible for them to ever obtain what the Lord had promised to give them.  Ten of the spies allowed fear to overrule bravery; and, therefore, God did not allow them to enter into that place of victory where they could eat of the fruit of His bountiful inheritance.

On the other hand, Joshua and Caleb - who saw the exact same thing as the other ten spies, were not afraid of the giants.  God's promises were magnified in their hearts and minds above the obstacles that their eyes beheld.  Only Joshua and Caleb came back to report that they were ready to fight for their inheritance.  These two spies were confident that the Lord would give them what He had promised.  They believed that God was on their side and that He would make a way where there seemed to be no way.

Sadly, the tens spies who feared fighting for God's promises encouraged the entire congregation of Israel to walk in terror.  They began to murmur and complain about their circumstance instead of speaking to their trepidation according to the word of the Lord.  Because of their unbelief, that entire generation of God's chosen people died in the wilderness, having never walked in the promised land.

Isn't the voice of those doubting spies much like the call of the world today which says, "If things get too tough in marriage, get a divorce.  After-all, the giant of adultery... or, the giant of addiction... or, the giant of financial pressure is just too overwhelming to ever overcome.  God didn't really intend for your promised land of marriage to come with so many battles, did He?  You are justified to murmur and complain against your spouse and against the commandments of God.  It's OK to vindicate bitterness in your mind toward those who seem to have it so easy in their marriage.  You'll never defeat these giants in your life.  You'll be better off to die single than to fight this battle of trying to stay married.  Patience and forgiveness are just too hard."

Choosing to enter into battle in order to gain victory requires bravery.  In Joshua 1:7, the Lord says to, "Only be strong and very courageous... turn not from it to the right hand or to the left..."  When faced with marital hardships that seem impossible to overcome, that is just the time to trust the Lord in all things.  It's easy to trust God during times of peace, but the real test of our faith comes when we can believe him in the times of our troubles. 

Remember, God will allow His children to choose their path.  Then, just as He provided for the children of Israel after they rebelled against His commandments by refusing to fight for their promised land, He will also provide for His children who bail out of their marriage.  Still, there will always be that unknown blessing that could have been obtained if only married couples would be strong and courageous in every battle that is set before them.  Like the Israelite's who never lived in the promised land, those who give up in their marriage will never experience the blessings that only come through entering into battle.

The Lord has a land of milk and honey in mind for every marriage and every family.  He paints a picture of it in His word and then places those desires in our hearts.  Yes, He wants His children to have His best and He will be faithful to His word if we will just believe Him and fight against the powers of darkness which try to divert His plan.  Marriage takes courage.  It requires bravery.  But, oh, the prize that awaits those who - like Joshua and Caleb - magnify the promises of the Lord above the obstacles in life.

Some powerful visualizations to help you endure the conflicts that are sure to come in marriage might include:  Think of one day sitting in a rocker on your front, with your false teeth, and looking over at your spouse to say, "We made it!"  Think of the joy of winning battles together and then testifying of God's power working in your lives.  Think of growing old with someone who has seen you at your worst and at your best, yet, still finds you the most beautiful creature on the face of the earth.  Finally, think of taking your last breathe as you reflect on the memories of your children, your grand-children, and maybe even your great grand-children whom you have watched inherit generational blessings because of your obedience to fight for the things of God. 

Marriage should be a picture of our relationship with Christ.  In our marriage to Jesus, we are confident that He will never leave us nor forsake us - no matter how we sin against Him, and no matter what our faults.  The Lord is always there for us.  In this same way, we should be resolute to our marriage vows as we stand in bravery with our mate (who is sure to disappoint us many times over throughout the course of a life-time).  Finally, marriage should be an unwavering commitment to the love story of 1 Corinthians 13 which states:

1 Corinthians 13:4-8:

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.Charity never faileth:

Will you choose to fight for your promised land?  Will you choose to be strong and of good courage in your marriage?  Because... marriage requires bravery!

By: Deborah Ross

www.DeborahRossMinistries.org

www.HealingABrokenMarriage.com