WORDS

Proverbs 18:21 KJV

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof."

Our mini-lesson today is on WORDS and how powerful they are.

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Thinking about Others: 

Do your words build others up... or cut them down? 

Do your words encourage and approve... or judge and condemn. 

Do your words control... or inspire?

Thinking about Yourself: 

Do your words build yourself up... or create the future you fear? 

Do your words rehearse the promise... or rehearse the problem?

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Do you think before you speak? 

Slow down, think, have a 2-way conversation (hear both sides).

Galatians 5:22-23 KJV

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance (SELF CONTROL)..."

• Don’t Sabotage Relationships with your words.
• Don’t Sabotage Your Future with your words.
• Don’t Thwart God’s Promise’s with your words.

Ephesians 4:29, 31-32 AMP 

“Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you."

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HABITS - PERSONALITIES - EMOTIONS... CAN DESTROY!

Every thought is not to be spoken. 

Use Self-Control.

Ephesians 4:29 KJV 

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”

NOTICE...

• NO CORRUPT WORD
• WHAT IS GOOD
• FOR NECESSARY EDIFICATION
• IMPART GRACE

IS THIS GOOD? 

Gossip? Negativity? Sarcasm? Perverted? Foul? Cursing? Screaming? Yelling? Accusing? Bossing? Degrading? Hateful? Frustrated? 

NO, IT IS NOT!

EDIFICATION 

To build others up! People need to be built up!

IMPART GRACE

Undeserved Favor!

Ephesians 4:31-32 AMP

"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor [perpetual animosity, resentment, strife, fault-finding] and slander be put away from you, along with every kind of malice [all spitefulness, verbal abuse, malevolence]. Be kind and helpful to one another, tender-hearted [compassionate, understanding], forgiving one another [readily and freely], just as God in Christ also forgave you."

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• LISTEN MORE
• TALK LESS
• STOP ACCUSING
• BE HONEST
• SPEAK THE TRUTH IN LOVE
• GIVE UNDIVIDED ATTENTION
• CARE ABOUT THE THOUGHTS & FEELINGS OF OTHERS
• GET RID OF THE "I" AND FOCUS ON "THE LORD"
• LEAVE THE FINAL OUTCOME IN GOD'S HANDS

Psalm 77:12 KJV

“I will meditate also of all thy work, and talk of thy doings.”

The more we read God's Word...

The more we pray...

The more we meditate on God's Word...

The less likely we are to:

*Speak Hurtful Words

*Receive Hurtful Words

Joshua 1:8 KJV

“This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.”

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LEARN TO REHEARSE THE PROMISE AND NOT THE PROBLEM!

Other scripture to look up and mediate on:

Matthew 12:34

Luke 6:45

Psalm 77:12

Joshua 1:8

Proverbs 4:23, 10:11, 21:2, 24:2

Romans 14:19

1 Thessalonians 5:11

1 Corinthians 14:3

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MOST POWERFUL WORDS YOU CAN SPEAK TO SOMEONE...

I'm Sorry... I Was Wrong... Please Forgive Me...

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PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT!

Edification- builds others up, think about how would I want to be treated.

Sarcasm can be funny, but it is also very hurtful.

Don’t just read God’s Word, put it into practice!

Mediate on God’s Word.

www.DeborahRossMinistries.org

#Words #Edify #Speak #thoughts #Spoken

Silence is Golden

In teaching marriage classes and doing biblical counseling, I have found that the biggest problem with most couples is their mouth.

In an effort to communicate, some speak their mind to the fullest extent, not realizing that every thought is not from God... not to be repeated... and, not healthy conversation.

Wrong words, finger pointing, accusations, negative outlooks, and hostile remarks only stir up strife. Friend, God's way is contrary to our impulsive, fleshly behavior. Self-control is a must if you want to cultivate healthy relationships.

Learn to listen more and talk less. Practice being slow to anger.

The devil is busy creating oppressive scenarios, throwing darts of skepticism and releasing the spirit of jealousy. His tactic is to get us offended. Then, once we are weakened by his evil blow, he assigns a horde of demons to fan the flames of anger, resentment, rage and wrath.

Don't allow the devil to push your buttons! Practice being quiet. Pray first. Talk second. And, speak in shorter, more impactful sentences that give God glory. Going on and on about a thought or feeling does not convince the other person of your need; but instead, only dulls their hearing. THEY TUNE YOU OUT!

Long, drawn out, conversations of discontent only acerbate the situation.

Yes, many times, silence is best. In fact, the Lord promises to fight our battles for us - if, we will just trust Him. And, learning to trust God requires self-control.

James says we are to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. Taking God's Word from the pages of our Bible to real life application can certainly be a challenge, but it is definitely doable. It all comes down to prayer and obedience.

Are you praying?

Are you seeking to be obedient?

Will you allow the Holy Spirit to have His way? Or, will you barrel through with patronizing, condemning, hateful and sarcastic words... because, you deserve it? Because you feel the need to vent? Because, it's just the way you are?

If you desire to have more friends, if you want to have a healthy marriage, or, if your goal is to be a person of influence, practice LISTENING.

Practice thought management.

Practice response delay.

Practice word filtering.

Every conversation does NOT require a response. Sometimes, silence is best. Learn to ponder thoughts more... and, speak less. God will increase your effectiveness in communication as you obey His precepts.

#Listen #SpeakLess

www.DeborahRossMinistries.org 

Communication is Key

As many of you know, I teach marriage classes each week at my church and I also offer Biblical counseling in my office. One thing I find to be a common thread in resolving marital conflict is the need for better communication skills.

Learning to communicate better with your spouse is really just the practice of being more like Jesus in your everyday life. With that being said, there are a few key phrases to remember when it comes to communication:

• Listen More
• Talk Less
• Stop Accusing 
• Be Honest
• Speak the Truth in Love
• Give Undivided Attention
• Care About the Thoughts and Feelings of Your Spouse
• Get Rid of the "I" and Focus on "The Lord"
• Leave the Final Outcome in God's Hands

Let's start with listening more and talking less.

So often, I find that one - or both - in the relationship talks waaaay toooo muuch! First of all, you don't need to give a play-by-play of every detail of why you are upset about a situation. Learn to use fewer words with greater impact. Learn to have a conversation that is two way... not one-way. Practice listening to your spouses heart. Then, if you still disagree, make your case with kind words that don't need to be said in book form. Less is often more in effective conflict resolution.

Now, if you want your spouse to hear you out, DO NOT speak with accusations and tones of sarcasm.

What would Jesus do? Would He tear down or build up? Jesus would be honest and He would speak the truth in a loving way. Granted, there were times that Jesus spoke with authority and righteous anger, but that was always a last resort. And, even so, He didn't go on... and on... and on. Learn to speak your peace and then be quiet. Silence really is golden at appointed times.

When listening to your spouse, learn to really listen and really care about their thoughts.

Practice stopping. Lay down the gadgets. Turning off the TV.  Learn to sit down and L-I-S-T-E-N. There is something really sweet in giving your undivided attention to your husband, or wife, on a daily basis. While this may seem impossible to do during the course of a busy, hectic day, it CAN be practiced in the first 30 minutes, or last 30 minutes, of your day when a habit of being INTENTIONAL about your marriage is put into place.

The biggest problem facing couples today is the self-centered, broken soul who is always looking to fulfill the "I" instead of the "US."

Ask God to help you empty yourself of selfish ambition to embrace the team work of family. Really, our Christian walk should be a life of emptying ourselves of the "I" and filling ourselves with "Him." Transform your mind with God's Word and pray that the Lord will help you to empty your selfishness and embrace your "two becoming oneness."

Lastly, learn to leave the outcome in God's hands.

The Bible says, having done all... STAND. There is a time to speak and there is a time to keep quiet. Many couples never let their words marinate in the heart of their spouse because they operate in fear instead of faith. In doing so, they end up badgering their spouse and therefore dulling their hearing. God is more than able to play your words over and over in the mind of your spouse if you deliver those words correctly and then bathe those words in prayer. Learn to Trust God!

In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve were naked and unashamed before sin entered the picture. They were not only physically naked, but they were also completely transparent in their thoughts. The goal of a good marriage is to be naked and unashamed with each other - in every way. It may not happen overnight (no pun intended), but as you learn to participate with God in your communication skills, your marriage can grow into one that is transparent, loving, pure and joyful in your everyday LIFE.

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