Breaking the Generational Curse

Breaking the Generational Curse

From the Save It! Marriage Bible Study

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2 Chronicles 16:9

For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to shew himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him.

I love the scripture verse above! God is looking for someone to bless! I've got my hand up, saying, "Lord, please choose me!"

What about you? Are you seeking to get your heart and mind to agree with God, so that you will be perfect toward Him? Friend, He wants to show Himself strong in your situation!

Today's lesson is a quick overview from my Save It Marriage Bible Study of how we can – and should – get our heart and mind to fully agree with God.

So... how do we get our heart and mind to agree with God?

The simple answer to this question is, of course, by studying His Word! Not by reading a lot of Bible study devotionals. Not by solely living off of what the preacher, teacher, prophet, apostle or evangelist have said. And, not by simply reading over the Word of God. No, scripture says that we are to study the scriptures while pondering or meditating upon every word. In doing so, the Word of God transforms our hearts and minds, thus, allowing the Holy Spirit to teach us exactly what it is that God is saying to us right now. He wants to communicate truths that will help each of us in our daily lives... right now!

We should always approach His Word with an open slate saying, "Holy Spirit, teach me." If we have a true desire to break away from generational curses, we cannot go to God's Word while determining to hold fast to our own erroneous ideas about His precepts. We should never try to find scripture that supports our personal belief system BUT RATHER find God's truths that change our minds about our personal belief system. 

As born-again believer's who should become more like Christ everyday, we must cultivate a humble and willing attitude that seeks to know God's Kingdom mysteries – precept upon precept – realizing that He will not force us to do so. In addition, we should never base our faith in God, nor form an opinion about God's will, upon the foundation of our personal experiences. Instead, our faith in God should be solely hinged upon His Word - His Commands - His Promises - His Holiness.

In looking at some basic fundamentals of How to Break Generational Curses, or better said, How to Live in Generational Blessings, I'd like to offer you a brief outline to the question...

"How do we break destructive, dysfunctional cycles that seem to be passed from one generation to another in our family tree?"

The outline below is NOT exhaustive; BUT it will get you started on the right path to healing and wholeness.

1) You must PASS THE TEST! What test? Whatever test life presents to you. You must fight to win the battle according to God's promises. Isaiah 48:10 & 1 Peter 1:7

2) Agree to lay your life down for the cause of Christ. Rev. 12:11 & Galatians 2:20 & John 12:24

3) Separate yourself and come our from among them (could be family or family traditions & beliefs). 2 Corinthians 6:17 & Matthew 19:29

4) Repent from ALL known sin... CHANGE YOUR MIND! 1 Kings 8:47-51 & Acts 2:38 & Acts 3:19 & Psalm 51:10

5) Identify and renounce ALL known curses and their origin (the root cause)... decide in your heart and mind to never again make up excuses or exemptions for you or your family members being disobedient to God's word. (Note: You do NOT need to try and "fix" your extended family members. Your job is to LOVE THEM, but not accept their value system if it does not agree with the word of the Lord.) 2 Corinthians 10:5-6 &

6) Do things God's way... IN LOVE! 1 Corinthians 13:8

7) Seek BALANCE in your understanding of God's word... RIGHTLY DIVIDE THE WORD OF TRUTH... find the sweet spot in your belief system! 2 Timothy 2:15

8) Trust in God's LOVE and POWER to set you and your household FREE! Romans 5:8-9

9) Drive out iniquity with the TRUTH applied in LOVE. Psalm 109:14 & Ezekiel 3:18 & Matthew 23:28

10) Pull down STRONGHOLDS in your mind that hinders you from understanding God's Kingdom principles. 2 Corinthians 10:4

11) Stop trying to qualify God's word according to your life experience. Deut. 5:33 & Joshua 22:5

12) Cast away all religious dogma (sayings, questionable denominational beliefs, unbalanced truth, etc.) and seek the BALANCED TRUTH straight from God's word. Ask the Holy Spirit to teach you. Colossians 2:8 & 1 Timothy 4:1

13) Change your mind about sickness, disease, poverty, addictions and shortcomings of any kind. Just because it is a fact, does not mean it is God's will... nor does it mean that it is God's truth concerning that situation. Exodus 15:26 & Psalm 103:3 & Deut. 28 & Luke 6:19

14) Don't be a rebel against the ways of God or the teachings of God or the holiness of God. - 1 Samuel 15:23 "For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from being king."

GOD LOVES YOU AND YOUR FAMILY AND HE WANTS YOU WHOLE!

FOR MORE ON TODAY'S MINI LESSON...

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RESPECT & SECURITY IN MARRIAGE

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Respect & Security in Marriage - Radio / Audio One Minute Devotional 

RESPECT & SECURITY IN MARRIAGE

When it comes to marriage, Ephesians 5:33 is a powerful verse that is often over-looked.  

It says…

“Never the less let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”

It really boils down to two words:  SECURITY and RESPECT

Hello, I’m Deborah Ross!

Husbands, the one thing your WIFE needs most is SECURITY!

What kind of security?

All kinds!  Like, … protection… financial peace… sexual purity… and most importantly… knowing that you love and trust God!

Wives,… the number one thing that your HUSBAND needs most is RESPECT!

He needs to know that you are not rolling your eyes at him… not complaining to your friends about him… not bossing him around… and not putting him down!

Did you know that your husband will give you security … as you give him respect?

Likewise husband, your wife will give you respect as you give her security.

So,… which one of you???… will go first?

For more on STRENGTHENING FAMILIES, go to DeborahRossMinistries.ORG 

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For more, listen to Choose Life Today! radio broadcasts with Deborah Ross on a station near you. 

**Radio stations may contact us for the FTP site access and login credentials for airing Deborah Ross Ministries one minute vignettes, Choose Life Today!

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Submitting One to Another - Radio Audio / One Minute Devotional 

SUBMITTING ONE TO ANOTHER

When it comes to marriage, Ephesians 5:21 tells us to submit ourselves one to another in the fear of the Lord.

Hello, I’m Deborah Ross!

I think women – as a whole – have a fear of the word “submit.”

Perhaps, because we perceive it as being “less than” in the eyes of our husband.

On the other hand, some husbands take the whole submission thing way out of context, using God’s word as an excuse to rule with an iron fist!

So, what does God’s word really mean when it says “submit?”

It means SUBMIT TO EACH OTHER!

A WAY OF SAYING:

*I value you!

*I value your needs!

*I value your opinions!

*I value your dreams!

*And, … I value OUR MARRIAGE!

You see, submitting is just a value system.  Nothing to fear.  And, certainly not an iron fist.

Will you put submitting to one another … into practice – TODAY?

For more on STRENGTHENING FAMILIES go to www.DeborahRossMinistries.ORG 

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For more, listen to Choose Life Today! radio broadcasts with Deborah Ross on a station near you. 

**Radio stations may contact us for the FTP site access and login credentials for airing Deborah Ross Ministries one minute vignettes, Choose Life Today!

CO-ED MARRIAGE BIBLE STUDY VIDEO WITH DEBORAH ROSS

This 1 hour video teaching is an unplugged co-ed marriage Bible study class from my Save It! Marriage Bible Study Series (Fall 2012). Includes: Taking Thoughts Captive... Motives... Trusting God... Family Order... Standing Strong... Submitting to Each Other... Love Never Fails.

Grab a cup of coffee and sit down to a time with the Lord as I encourage your faith today for a healthy marriage.

Save it! Marriage Bible Studies with Deborah Ross

BIBLE STUDY CLASSES
and/or
CONFERENCES   

Save Your Marriage... Save Your Family! Everyone's marriage could use a tune-up. This study is a faith builder for those in good marriages and it is a life-line for those in bad ones. Participants learn how to defeat the power's of darkness so that their marriage doesn't just survive, but THRIVES... until death do they part. Topics like: Settle it in Your Heart; Forgiveness is a Commandment; What Men Need; What Women Need; Being Intentional About Your Marriage; Cold Love / No Love; Intimacy; Agape Love / Excel Them All; Root Digger (Pulling Down Strongholds & Breaking Generational Curses); Family Wholeness and much, much more. Deborah's book, Healing a Broken Marriage, serves as the reading material and at-home study guide for this class. Open to men and women - married, engaged, separated, and even those divorced who are praying for reconciliation. Based off of 1 Corinthians 13 - "Love Never Fails."  

There are 2 ways to take this study:  1)  Invite Jay and Deborah Ross to your church.  2)  Get Deborah's personal teaching notes and lead your own group.

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Mini Lesson for Today:

His Needs / Her Needs. 

In this lesson we learn that in a marriage the number one thing men crave most is RESPECT while the number one thing women desire most is SECURITY.  Are you giving your spouse what they need most?

The man's role is that of head of the household.  He should be the primary bread winner of the home - providing he is in good health. The primary role of the woman is to nurture the souls of the children and her husband while maintaining a peaceful, loving home environment for the family to come together in worship of the Lord. When we get our homes in Biblical order according to 1 Corinthians 11:3  (God - Jesus - Man - Woman, with the children coming under the man and woman leading in unison under Christ Jesus), we lay a solid foundation on which the Lord will supernaturally bless our families in great measure.  There is nothing wrong with the woman working to help support the family (if needed) as long as she puts her family first in all things.  This may mean that a professional corporate career needs to be put on hold until after the children are raised. 

In addition, husband and wife should practice submitting one to another in all things (Ephesians 5:21).  In doing so, each spouse seeks to please the other and arguments are put to a halt.  When conflict does arise, it is important to remember that winning is not important.  Listening to one another and then reaching a mutual agreement is always the goal.  If, after each person has voiced their opinions, it is still not possible to reach an agreement, women need to keep their perspective as being their husband's help mate (Genesis 2:18).  God will bless our families as our men rise to godly leadership.  Even when bad decisions are made, we can trust God to bring us through certain consequences with ultimate victory as we seek to establish our homes according to Biblcal principles.

It has been said that money, sex, and children are the number one arguments that lead to divorce. In order to solve money problems in marriage, both man and wife need to learn the importance of completely trusting God with their finances. He is a good God and He gives good gifts to His children. In fact, He even says that we can TEST HIM when it comes to tithing! Try Him and see if your 90% doesn't go a lot further as the Lord keeps the devil and his demons from stealing your finances that are available after tithing your reasonable service of 10% of all your income back to the Lord.   

It is so important that Christian's tithe and give offerings because God richly blesses those who do. It is a supernatural principle! Our money represents our life (our time) and God knows that our obedience to tithing is a true reflection of our FAITH in Him as not only Savior, but also as Lord, Master, Provider, etc.

When we hold our fists tightly closed and refuse to trust God with our money, we are really saying, "I am in control of my life. I don't trust in supernatural principles. I really don't trust that God will take care of my needs and my wants in this life. It doesn't make sense to me to tithe 10% when I am already having trouble in paying my bills, so God will have to help me get ahead, first, then I will tithe 10%"... Sorry friends, but it doesn't work that way in the Kingdom of God.

Then, if you ever get to a place in life where things are not making sense in your finances (yet, you are a tither) - like the loss of a job, or a lack of money - perhaps it is time for a promotion from God! Keep on tithing because you are probably experiencing a TEST from God and when all is said and done, you want to be found faithful in your obedience. Don't give the enemy any ammunition to use against you when it comes to your money. Trust God!!!

Lastly, it is important that you realize the following principles when it comes to money and God. Tithing is 10% of your income that should be given to your local church or the place where you are being fed the Word of God and experiencing fellowship. Offerings are different. Offerings are monies, time, talents and resources given above and beyond your tithe. Offerings can and should be given freely to anyone or any ministry whom the Holy Spirit lays upon your heart to give to. Keep in mind that God's superabundant favor (in the financial realm) will rest in your obedience to the Holy Spirit in giving offerings.

You see, you just cannot outgive God! He is the supplier of all of your needs... and wants. He owns it all. He will make sure that His children are well taken care of as they practice being GIVERS. So solve the marital hardship of financial woes by allowing God to completely take control of your finances. Be a tither... and a giver! Be like God. After all, He gave His very own Son.

Malachi 3:8-12

"Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings. Ye are cursed with a curse: for ye have robbed me, even this whole nation. Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it. And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, and he shall not destroy the fruits of your ground; neither shall your vine cast her fruit before the time in the field, saith the LORD of hosts. And all nations shall call you blessed: for ye shall be a delightsome land, saith the LORD of hosts.

Luke 6:38

"Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again."

Proverbs 11:24 

"There is that scattereth, and yet increaseth; and there is that withholdeth more than is meet, but it tendeth to poverty."

Throughout this study I pray that the Lord will speak to hearts so that each marriage will be strengthened for life-long victory in all things.   

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Biblical Order of the Home

BALANCING CHILDREN, WORK, AND INTIMACY

God has established order to everything... He is the God of order!  When studying scripture as a marriage life-book of "how to", it is easy to see that God has a divine command we must all heed if we want our marriage to endure: the tests of time; the on slot of offense; and the pull of worldly influence.  Satan comes to kill, steal, and destroy (John 10:10).  He hates families and will stop at nothing by instigating terms for division, strife, and even divorce - in every home - as he slithers his way into situations, circumstances, attitudes, and presuming lifestyles between a man and his wife.  So don't be surprised when the gates of hell turn up the heat in your household.  There is nothing new under the sun.

On the other hand, married couples can expect to overcome all of life's twists and turns - so that their passion never runs cold - when they commit to making their relationship with each other of highest priority (under Christ).  Contrary to the assumption of most unsuspecting married couples, staying true to the marriage vow, "until death do us part", doesn't just happen.  It takes work... continuous work...intentional work!  But, keeping a marriage alive is not a begrudging chore.  Instead, it is a fulfilling journey of growing closer and closer as, together, you work to serve one another! 

Speaking of order, 1 Corinthians 11:3 says that the order of the family should be as follows: God, Christ, Man, Woman.  As much as women hate to admit it, our role in the marriage is to be a helper to our husbands (Genesis 2:18).  The man is to be the head of the household, under Christ, and has the burden of carrying the weight of the home on his shoulders.  Even the natural strength of a man over the femininity of a woman paints the picture of God's design for establishing order in the home (see: 1 Peter 3:7).  Does this mean that women aren't supposed to work?  Not necessarily.  It does mean, however, that the predominate role of a woman in marriage should be that of an encourager to her husband and a nurturer to her children; while the prevailing role of the man should be that of a provider and spiritual leader.

WORK

When it comes to work, men and women, alike, all-too-often get caught in a work-a-holic syndrome.  The obligations of keeping the bills paid, the lure of a success driven society, and the sin of wanting too many "things" can all lead to burn-out in marriage.  God intended for us to have balanced lives and while work is essential, it should never be elevated above the family.  After all, you work to make a fruitful life for your family.  What benefit is "the good life" if, in the end, the family unit is shattered - all because of the obsessive cycle of making more, spending more, and expecting more?  The best way to evaluate your allegiance to your career is through the filter of the following order of importance:  #1 - God;  #2 - Family; #3 - Business.  If your work priorities tend to slip from this formula, it's imperative (for the sake of your marriage) that you reevaluate your motives and restructure your lifestyle - immediately!

INTIMACY

Another mistake I often see young mothers making is that of becoming preoccupied with their everyday duties of nurturing, cooking, shopping, and cleaning, while presuming that their husband will "understand" her constant neglect of affection - especially in the bedroom.  I know how it is, by the end of the day a mother is zapped and "one more thing to do" when her head hits the pillow at night can become the dreaded love making task instead of a joyful finale of intimate communion with her man.  There is great danger in allowing affection with your spouse to wane.  Again, the most important part of your duties as a husband/wife and dad/mom (besides your complete devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ) is that of putting your marriage above all else.  Romance, sex, and even date nights MUST be a part of your "schedule" in order to avoid the subtle drift of growing apart.  Men, that means putting the remote down, turning the computer off, and making an effort towards being creative in how to spend quality time with your wife, as well.  Each partner has an obligation to meet the need of the other when it comes to keeping the flames of passion burning brightly throughout the course of a life-time in marriage. 

CHILDREN

In a thriving, Christ-centered marriage, your relationship with your spouse should always come before your relationship with your children!  While this may seem like a no brainer, it is actually a big problem with families today.  Does this mean that the children are not important?  Not at all.  It simply means that marriage is - first, and foremost -  about the husband and wife honoring one another, as two souls remain one flesh under the banner of Christ Jesus.  Children can be very demanding and, while we should aim to be great parents, we should never let our marriage suffer from the pressures of parenting.

In today's American, fast-paced culture, I am seeing more and more parents putting a significant amount of time into the extracurricular activities of their children and the pursuit of keeping up with society.  While this may seem like a wonderful thing to do on the surface, an unbalanced approach to activities outside of the home early on, can lead to serious marital problems - later on.  After all, what good will all of these endeavors be if after years of running here, there and everywhere, you end up with a broken home - all because you neglected to prioritize your life in such a way that gives glory to God.  Psalm 46:10 says to "be still and know that He is God."  Carve out time each day to "be still" with your family as you worship God together with the sweet aroma of a balanced lifestyle. 

Furthermore, Ephesians 6:1 and Colossians 3:20 says that "children should obey their parents in the Lord."  From here, we can see that God's divine order for the home is for the children to come up under the parents (not just the mom and not just the dad, but both parents - functioning in agreement with one another).  Many well meaning mothers tend to elevate their children to a position of priority over their husbands.  NEVER allow your children to come between you and your spouse. Remember, a healthy marriage ultimately makes the children happy because their confidence will be increased when they live in peace knowing that mom and dad love each other, have respect for one another, and express appropriate affection toward the other. As you and your spouse show forth a selfless, unconditional love that gives high priority to times of privacy, hand holding, hugging, laughter, and honor for one another, your children are learning what a healthy marriage looks like and will likely aim to have a balanced marriage of their own one day, as they learn life application skills from you.  This is the essence of what it truly means to train up a child in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6).     

In closing, I remind you of the following points about "how to" enrich your marriage so that your love for one another never grows cold:

·        God has an order to everything. 

·        Marriage takes work. 

·        You must be intentional about making your marriage all that God has planned.    

·        The devil is working hard to strategize the demise of your wedding vows.

·        You must be adamant about APPLYING the Word of the Lord to every area of your marriage on a daily basis. 

Don't be duped by the devil.  Life is about choices and making the right decisions each and every day will add up to the sum total of the destiny of your family (see: Deuteronomy 30:19).  Remember, over half of ALL MARRIAGES (the church is no exception) end up divorced.  Shield your marriage from destruction by getting your life in order, NOW!

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Deborah Ross is a Bible teacher, speaker, singer, author, and choreographer.  Her new book titled, Healing a Broken Marriage: LoveNever Fails, is a great resource for more on "how to" have a healthy, God-centered marriage.  Deborah has been married to her husband, Jay, since 1984.  Together, they have two teenage sons.  Deborah's passion is to know God and her calling is to share His love with the world.  To find out more about her ministry go to www.DeborahRossMinistries.org   

A Healthly Marriage

My prayer for your marriage is that the following things will become REAL as you study God's Word and press in to have a life-long marriage of joy, peace, intimacy and friendship with your spouse.

POINTS TO PONDER FOR A HEALTHY MARRIAGE...

1) A God centered marriage is made up of 3 - God, Man, Woman - Diagram: Draw a triangle and put God at the top!  Write your name on one corner and your spouses name on the other corner.  As you both look up to Christ and put God FIRST in all things... your marriage will be blessed! 

2) God is "for" your marriage! It "is" His will that you and your spouse love each other until "death do you part". He is on your side in difficult times!

3) You must be INTENTIONAL about keeping a marriage that is ALIVE and THRIVING!

4) FORGIVENESS is a commandment... not a suggestion!

5) Always pray: Lord change ME! Get out of a self-centered approach to Christianity and into a Christ-centered life-style that is willing to lay down all agenda's for the sake of your family. As YOU become more like Jesus, your behavior WILL affect the behavior of your spouse. LOVE NEVER FAILS!

6) Always speak (and seek) the TRUTH in LOVE. Take the masks off. Don't avoid issues. Live in truth yourself... and set a godly example for your spouse.

7) Be willing to leave and cleave by breaking generational curses and by pulling down strong holds that will sneak in to destroy a good marriage over the course of a life-time.

8) Men: Love your wife as Christ loves the church AND gave His life for her.
Some ways to lavish your love on your wife:
*LISTENING TO HER
*GIVING HER GIFTS AND/OR EXTRA MONEY FROM TIME TO TIME TO SPEND ON HERSELF FOR BEAUTY TREATMENTS & TAPESTRY OF SILK AND PURPLE (nice clothing)
*TAKING YOUR TIME IN LOVE MAKING - WOMEN ARE LIKE CROCK POTS... SLOW TO WARM UP
*ROMANCE GOES A LONG WAY - TAKE YOUR WIFE ON A DATE AT LEAST ONCE PER WEEK
*BECOME THE HEAD OF THE HOUSEHOLD UNDER CHRIST JESUS - DON'T BE A BOY - BE A MAN!!!
*GIVE HER SECURITY IN ALL THINGS - FROM FINANCES... TO PROTECTION... TO THE BEDROOM - SHE NEEDS TO FEEL SAFE WITH YOU
*ALWAYS FLEE THE APPEARANCE OF EVIL - PORNOGRAPHY, ALCOHOL & DRUGS, ETC. WILL KILL YOUR MARRIAGE - INTENTIONALLY AVOID THESE THINGS
*TAKE AN INTEREST IN THE HOME (Honey-Do)
*PRAY OUT LOUD WITH YOUR WIFE
* PUT YOUR WIFE AND CHILDREN ABOVE YOUR BUDDIES AND YOUR SPORTING EVENTS

9) Women: Submit to your OWN husband.
Some ways to lavish your love on your husband:
*GIVING HIM SPACE TO MAKE MISTAKES
*HONORING HIM AS HEAD OF THE HOUSEHOLD... EVEN IF HE IS NOT SURE OF HIS POSITION, YET
*DON'T WITHHOLD LOVE MAKING FROM YOUR HUSBAND
*DON'T BELITTLE YOUR HUSBAND
*BE HIS HELP MATE - HELP HIM TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN HIS CAREER AND REPUTATION IN THE COMMUNITY
*PRAY DEUT. 28 OVER YOUR HUSBAND
*COOK & CLEAN WITH JOY
*USE PLEASANT WORDS AND PLEASANT TONES WITH YOUR HUSBAND
*BE BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT - PRACTICE BEING BEAUTIFUL FOR YOUR HUSBAND
*LEARN TO ENJOY SOME ACTIVITIES THAT YOUR HUSBAND ENJOYS
*STOP WISHING YOUR HUSBAND WAS LIKE SOMEONE ELSE - INSTEAD, PRAY THAT GOD HELPS YOU TO DIG OUT THE TREASURE FROM WITHIN YOUR HUSBAND'S SOUL
*LOOK AFTER YOUR HOUSEHOLD WITH PRAYER AND WISDOM
*DON'T ALLOW YOUR CHILDREN TO COME BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND
*DO NOT BE A NAG!  BE A PRAYER WARRIOR, INSTEAD!

10) Remember - WORDS are powerful!!! Make sure you don't destroy your marriage (or your children) with hurtful words or a demeaning tone.

11) Take up your cross and follow Christ.
Every trial is an opportunity for a miracle!  Every burden is an opportunity for YOU to grow in Christ!

12) THE GRASS IS NOT ALWAYS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HILL!!! IT HAS TO BE MOWED, TOO!
Stop fantasizing about being married to someone else.  Make YOUR marriage work!!!

13) READ YOUR BIBLE - Don't depend solely on the preacher.  Don't get all of your spiritual reading from devotionals that someone else has written.  Read the pure Word of God and let the Holy Spirit speak directly to you. 

14) Cultivate your FAITH.
Faith in God's Word pleases Him. He loves you and He wants to do you good and not evil. Trust Him. (Perfect love cast out all fear.)

15)  Believe it or not, in a broken marriage it only takes ONE to bring about healing.  If one person in the relationship is willing to live out Christ before their mate and endure hardship for a season (could be years), God can soften the other person's heart and draw them to Himself.  I am a living example of ONE PERSON working to have a whole marriage in Christ Jesus. 

Read my book, Healing a Broken Marriage: Love Never Fails, to hear my full story and see how God can save your marriage... if you only believe and trust Him in all things.

16)  First and foremost, make sure that YOU and your SPOUSE are born-again, spirit-filled believer's in Christ Jesus.  If you have ANY doubt about the salvation of your spouse, this is the first place to begin your prayer for them.

17)  The "D" word does not exist. God hates divorce.  Don't think about it.  Don't let it be an option.


18)  Unfortunately, many of you reading this blog post have been married before. Be sure to repent of all wrong doing from your first marriage (stop blaming the other person) and ask God to forgive you for your previous divorce. Purge ALL bitterness.  Remember, God sees the heart so you can't fake forgiveness.  Cry out to Him daily until you have truly forgiven. 
 
Once you have come clean with God, trust him to give you blessings abundantly in the marriage you now have. The gospel is not a message of condemnation, but a message of TRUTH. God wants us to live in truth and to be free from the torment of sin.

Also, be sensitive to any children you may have who were left victims of divorce from your previous marriage. No matter their age, it is often very difficult for them to heal from the effects of a broken home. God would have you to be honest, transparent and sympathetic to their struggles in dealing with their own pain. Plus, some issues won't surface for many years. It could take a life time to bring healing in their life so be patient and don't give up on them. They need you!

THE PURPLE SECTION BELOW:  
From Family Fortress Ministries...
http://www.familyfortress.org/ 

(O) Divorce and Remarriage.


Divorce


We believe that the Bible gives three legitimate reasons for ending a marriage:


1) The first legitimate Biblical allowance for ending marriage is the death of a spouse (1 Corinthians 7:39; Romans 7:2-4).


2) The second legitimate Biblical allowance is fornication (Matthew 19:9) which is inclusive of all other sexual sins covered by the term porneia (fornication): homosexuality, bestiality, prostitution, etc.


3) The third legitimate Biblical allowance is desertion of a believing spouse by an unbelieving spouse (1 Corinthians 7:15). Of course when a believing spouse is deserted by a professing believer, the professing believer (unrepentant) can be disciplined by the church, so that the situation becomes that of a believer divorced by an unbeliever. So in effect any desertion can be, with appropriate church involvement, grounds for divorce. The Christian should not initiate divorcing a non-Christian, but should live graciously with their spouse to quietly represent Christ with an infectious demeanor, kindness, generosity, and service (1 Corinthians 7:15).


Remarriage:


In Scripture, whenever legitimate divorce occurs, freedom to remarry is assumed. When divorce is permitted, so is remarriage. The innocent party of a divorce due to adultery may remarry. Remarriage after one has been betrayed by an adulterous spouse does not constitute adultery. The person marrying a previously married spouse who was the victim of an adulterous person also does not constitute adultery. This is implied but not specifically proscribed in Matthew 19:9.


A believer who remarries after a non-Christian spouse divorces the believing spouse constitutes a legitimate marriage (1 Corinthians 7:15).

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The section below is from me...

PHYSICAL ABUSE:

Physical abuse should not be tolerated. Get out. Protect yourself and your children. It doesn’t necessarily mean divorce. Use wisdom in such cases and ask God for His pathway to healing.

ADULTERY or SPOUSE LEFT YOU
Please keep in mind that God is able to restore a marriage after adultery AND He is able to bring that wayward spouse that left you back home again.  God is willing and able to save ALL from sin and to bring ALL into everlasting life. 

The question's you must ask yourself are: 

Am I willing to wait on the Lord? 

Am I willing to forgive? 

Divorce is NOT God's will.  He only makes a way of escape in certain circumstances in which one person is abandoned or betrayed. 

Pray for reconciliation.  Pray for forgiveness.  Pray for salvation.

In Christ,

Deborah Ross
Mother in Zion Series
Deborah Ross Ministries
http://www.deborahrossministries.org/