RESPECT & SECURITY IN MARRIAGE

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Respect & Security in Marriage - Radio / Audio One Minute Devotional 

RESPECT & SECURITY IN MARRIAGE

When it comes to marriage, Ephesians 5:33 is a powerful verse that is often over-looked.  

It says…

“Never the less let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”

It really boils down to two words:  SECURITY and RESPECT

Hello, I’m Deborah Ross!

Husbands, the one thing your WIFE needs most is SECURITY!

What kind of security?

All kinds!  Like, … protection… financial peace… sexual purity… and most importantly… knowing that you love and trust God!

Wives,… the number one thing that your HUSBAND needs most is RESPECT!

He needs to know that you are not rolling your eyes at him… not complaining to your friends about him… not bossing him around… and not putting him down!

Did you know that your husband will give you security … as you give him respect?

Likewise husband, your wife will give you respect as you give her security.

So,… which one of you???… will go first?

For more on STRENGTHENING FAMILIES, go to DeborahRossMinistries.ORG 

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Save it! Marriage Bible Studies with Deborah Ross

BIBLE STUDY CLASSES
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Save Your Marriage... Save Your Family! Everyone's marriage could use a tune-up. This study is a faith builder for those in good marriages and it is a life-line for those in bad ones. Participants learn how to defeat the power's of darkness so that their marriage doesn't just survive, but THRIVES... until death do they part. Topics like: Settle it in Your Heart; Forgiveness is a Commandment; What Men Need; What Women Need; Being Intentional About Your Marriage; Cold Love / No Love; Intimacy; Agape Love / Excel Them All; Root Digger (Pulling Down Strongholds & Breaking Generational Curses); Family Wholeness and much, much more. Deborah's book, Healing a Broken Marriage, serves as the reading material and at-home study guide for this class. Open to men and women - married, engaged, separated, and even those divorced who are praying for reconciliation. Based off of 1 Corinthians 13 - "Love Never Fails."  

There are 2 ways to take this study:  1)  Invite Jay and Deborah Ross to your church.  2)  Get Deborah's personal teaching notes and lead your own group.

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Mini Lesson for Today:

His Needs / Her Needs. 

In this lesson we learn that in a marriage the number one thing men crave most is RESPECT while the number one thing women desire most is SECURITY.  Are you giving your spouse what they need most?

The man's role is that of head of the household.  He should be the primary bread winner of the home - providing he is in good health. The primary role of the woman is to nurture the souls of the children and her husband while maintaining a peaceful, loving home environment for the family to come together in worship of the Lord. When we get our homes in Biblical order according to 1 Corinthians 11:3  (God - Jesus - Man - Woman, with the children coming under the man and woman leading in unison under Christ Jesus), we lay a solid foundation on which the Lord will supernaturally bless our families in great measure.  There is nothing wrong with the woman working to help support the family (if needed) as long as she puts her family first in all things.  This may mean that a professional corporate career needs to be put on hold until after the children are raised. 

In addition, husband and wife should practice submitting one to another in all things (Ephesians 5:21).  In doing so, each spouse seeks to please the other and arguments are put to a halt.  When conflict does arise, it is important to remember that winning is not important.  Listening to one another and then reaching a mutual agreement is always the goal.  If, after each person has voiced their opinions, it is still not possible to reach an agreement, women need to keep their perspective as being their husband's help mate (Genesis 2:18).  God will bless our families as our men rise to godly leadership.  Even when bad decisions are made, we can trust God to bring us through certain consequences with ultimate victory as we seek to establish our homes according to Biblcal principles.

It has been said that money, sex, and children are the number one arguments that lead to divorce. In order to solve money problems in marriage, both man and wife need to learn the importance of completely trusting God with their finances. He is a good God and He gives good gifts to His children. In fact, He even says that we can TEST HIM when it comes to tithing! Try Him and see if your 90% doesn't go a lot further as the Lord keeps the devil and his demons from stealing your finances that are available after tithing your reasonable service of 10% of all your income back to the Lord.   

It is so important that Christian's tithe and give offerings because God richly blesses those who do. It is a supernatural principle! Our money represents our life (our time) and God knows that our obedience to tithing is a true reflection of our FAITH in Him as not only Savior, but also as Lord, Master, Provider, etc.

When we hold our fists tightly closed and refuse to trust God with our money, we are really saying, "I am in control of my life. I don't trust in supernatural principles. I really don't trust that God will take care of my needs and my wants in this life. It doesn't make sense to me to tithe 10% when I am already having trouble in paying my bills, so God will have to help me get ahead, first, then I will tithe 10%"... Sorry friends, but it doesn't work that way in the Kingdom of God.

Then, if you ever get to a place in life where things are not making sense in your finances (yet, you are a tither) - like the loss of a job, or a lack of money - perhaps it is time for a promotion from God! Keep on tithing because you are probably experiencing a TEST from God and when all is said and done, you want to be found faithful in your obedience. Don't give the enemy any ammunition to use against you when it comes to your money. Trust God!!!

Lastly, it is important that you realize the following principles when it comes to money and God. Tithing is 10% of your income that should be given to your local church or the place where you are being fed the Word of God and experiencing fellowship. Offerings are different. Offerings are monies, time, talents and resources given above and beyond your tithe. Offerings can and should be given freely to anyone or any ministry whom the Holy Spirit lays upon your heart to give to. Keep in mind that God's superabundant favor (in the financial realm) will rest in your obedience to the Holy Spirit in giving offerings.

You see, you just cannot outgive God! He is the supplier of all of your needs... and wants. He owns it all. He will make sure that His children are well taken care of as they practice being GIVERS. So solve the marital hardship of financial woes by allowing God to completely take control of your finances. Be a tither... and a giver! Be like God. After all, He gave His very own Son.

Malachi 3:8-12

"Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings. Ye are cursed with a curse: for ye have robbed me, even this whole nation. Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it. And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, and he shall not destroy the fruits of your ground; neither shall your vine cast her fruit before the time in the field, saith the LORD of hosts. And all nations shall call you blessed: for ye shall be a delightsome land, saith the LORD of hosts.

Luke 6:38

"Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again."

Proverbs 11:24 

"There is that scattereth, and yet increaseth; and there is that withholdeth more than is meet, but it tendeth to poverty."

Throughout this study I pray that the Lord will speak to hearts so that each marriage will be strengthened for life-long victory in all things.   

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Marriage - Are You Doing the Word?

James 1:19 KJV

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man (or woman) be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man (or woman) worketh not the righteousness of God.

- emphasis added -

My grandmother always taught me to "kill'em with kindness."  She always said it would be difficult  for someone to be ugly to you if you continued to treat them with respect and dignity.  As hard as her lesson was for me to understand as a child, today, I can clearly see how her teachings were Biblical principles that God would one day reveal to me as truth.  These words were buried deep within my soul as a child, and, no doubt, have helped me to withstand some difficult situations in my own marriage while I patiently waited for my breakthrough to finally arrive.

I think the book of James is a good starting place for us to study in seeking how we can learn to silence arguments and put an end to dysfunction in our homes.  James says that we are to be "swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath."  Until we recognize that change begins within US, we will forever be trying to "fix" everyone else  - in particular, our spouse.  We will never rest in the promises of our Lord for complete victory in our marriage, until we settle it in our heart that "we cannot change our spouse!"  So, let us take instruction from James that our breakthrough will manifest only if we do our part.  We must learn to control OUR MOUTH by praying, "Lord help me to listen more and talk less, so that You can work in my marriage."

In addition, James 1:22 says that we should be "doers of the word, and not hearers only."  Now, being a doer of the word does not mean that we make others...  "do the word."  On the contrary, it means that we make ourselves come into agreement with the word of the Lord even while in adverse circumstances.  Marriage is not always easy (especially if one spouse is lost).  Even so, as Christians, we are to do our part by being obedient to the things of God - even while it is not convenient.  If it were easy to be a "doer of the word", then being a "doer" would not require faith.  But, we are people of faith and we need to understand that our faith grows as we exercise it.  So don't be afraid to exercise your faith when it comes to being a doer of the word in your marriage.

There is one themed rebuttal that is always spoken to me by someone hurting in marriage:  "But you don't know what they did to me" or "You don't understand what I have to put up with."  When these valid comments come across my ministry, I gently take these broken souls back to God's word which speaks of self control, controlling our tongue, praying, and trusting Him.  Granted, one spouse in the marriage may be like a wild bull running through a china store.  Still, that doesn't justify the other spouse to be moved, shaken, or provoked to sin against God.  In the midst of a marital storm, we must remember that God is on the throne and He loves our marriage.  He is on our side and will fight our battles for us if we will just tame ourselves and lay our marriage on the altar for Him to work a miracle.  Malachi 2:16 says, God hates divorce, so our job as a married Christian is to work toward avoiding divorce... even through the fiercest storm. 

The devil is forever tempting God's children.  He knows that if he can just get a Christian to be drawn away of his own lust and enticed to sin then he can kill them.  His greatest thrill is to see sin conceived in a child of God because it is sure to bring forth death in certain areas of their life.  For instance, if the devil can get us to enter into arguing with our spouse, he has a better chance at getting us to believe that we are justified in hating them.  Then once we are convinced that we don't need our spouse anymore (because we just can't get along), we are now in a position to believe that divorce is OK in our situation.  Divorce is the calculated death that the devil is ultimately seeking to arrange in the lives of every married couple.  But the devil doesn't stop there.  The enemy of our soul will go much further than the initial divorce.  Most often, divorce  causes bitterness to fester.  Bitterness leads to wrath... and wrath leads to revenge.  Now does anger, bitterness, wrath, and revenge sound like characteristics of one claiming to be a Child of God?  (See James 1:3-15)

So in conclusion, James 1 says that our religion is vain if we don't learn to bridle our tongue.  Remember the trying of our faith (especially in marriage) teaches us to have patience.  And, the patience produced in us will make us perfect in the end.  This means that our faith will be purified in our trials, making us ready to receive the reward that God has waiting for those who believe Him and act according to His word even throughout adverse circumstances. 

Hebrews 11:6

But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

If you haven't already read my story, I'd like to encourage you to pick up a copy of my book, Healing a Broken Marriage, today.  I have experienced, first hand, how God's word will come to pass in seemingly hopeless marital conditions of my own.  Today, my marriage is healed and thriving because the Lord is faithful and His word is true!  My book is a step by step faith walk of praying for my husband for twelve years as heartache after heartache pointed toward divorce.  Glory to God, the devil didn't win the battle and now I live to tell others how they, too, can claim victory in their home.  My book teaches practical and spiritual lessons that must be mixed together to bring results.   

The Lord doesn't want any to perish.  He wants all to come to salvation.  As the spouse who professes to know God (I say this because you are reading this article), I exhort you to stand strong and see the salvation of the Lord for your loved one.  Believe God against all odds.  And, very important, mix all of your faith with God- centered actions that will create fertile soil for your miracle.  When you line yourself up with Kingdom principles in your "doing", you can expect results from a God who loves you, loves your marriage, and loves your children.

So take the narrow road, tame your tongue, harness your emotions, exercise your faith, and trust God in all things.  He loves you!

 Job 6:24 KJV
Teach me, and I will hold my tongue: and cause me to understand wherein I have erred.

Mother in Zion Series - # 2

PRACTICAL & BIBLICAL ADVICE FOR A HEALTHY MARRIAGE by Deborah Ross

Today's study is based on various Proverbs from God's Word.

After an overwhelming response from the Mother in Zion Series #1, I am eager to share more nuggets of truth that will help wives - both young and old - to cultivate a healthy marriage that will last a lifetime. I believe that Satan's number one target is the family. It is only by being INTENTIONAL about our marriage that we can ever expect to truly weather the storms of life.

Below are 10 points to ponder...

#1 - Money isn't everything! While we all need money to survive - and I certainly do believe that God wants to bless us financially - still, as wives, we should never allow our primary focus to be on our financial status. Too often, I'll see women getting caught up in worldly desires of wanting more, charging more, expecting more... all the while being satisfied - LESS! Remember, even though it IS God's desire to bless you and your family financially, you should never allow money to dictate your happiness. In fact, some of life's most precious moments will actually stem from times of financial hardship in your marriage. When you said, "For richer, for poorer", those words were meant to be a promise kept forever - no matter how difficult the circumstance. Arguments over money have destroyed way too many homes. Don't let it destroy yours!

Proverbs 15:16
"Better is little with the fear of the LORD than great treasure and trouble therewith."

#2 - Study your husband! A godly wife has studied her husband's likes and dislikes. She knows how to please him. Remember, Satan is sure to have someone "else" studying your husband at various points throughout your married life. I would not want anyone to know more about my husband's thoughts, desires, habits, likes or dislikes than ME and the only way to be sure of this is to "study" my own husband. Do you know YOUR HUSBAND'S deepest desires?

Proverbs 15:28
"The heart of the righteous studieth to answer: but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things."

#3 - Boob jobs, tummy tucks, face lifts, body sculpting, body piercings, tattoos, make-up, high heels, low cut blouses, micro-mini skirts and so on should not be necessary for your husband to find you attractive. While I don't believe the Lord is against women looking their best, I am certain He would not have us consumed with adjusting our physical appearance in unhealthy or seductive ways. The Word of God is very clear that our inner beauty is much more important than our outward looks. Of course, the "world" says to: lift it, tuck it, change it, flaunt it and shake it. But, God says that true beauty is elegant, graceful, pure, holy and modest. If you are feeling the need to compete with pornographic pictures, television and magazine commercials or even worldly girlfriends who don't know Christ in order to keep your husband's attention, there is something seriously wrong with either your marriage or your self-esteem. Make grooming your inner self (being transformed by God's Word) a top priority. Of course, you should not neglect to keep your outward appearance pretty and well-maintained with good hygiene. But remember, in looking your best for your husband you should NEVER allow the latest "beauty trend" to lure you into compromising your dignity, your health, or your testimony.

Proverbs 11:22
"As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion."

#4 - I asked my husband what he would like to contribute to this article and his response was...

"Tell them, DON'T NAG. Men hate it!"

Are you a nagging wife? If you are, I pray that you will ask God to help you bridle your tongue, IMMEDIATELY! One of the quickest ways to kill a marriage is to be a continuous nag toward your husband. Once he officially TURNS YOU OFF, you will really wonder "why" he never responds to your requests.

Proverbs 21:19
"It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman."

#5 - Ladies, pouting doesn't solve anything. I know, we all like to play charades once in a while, especially when our feelings get hurt. Your man may be clueless about "why" you are upset. He may truly want to make things better, but just doesn't know where to start. This DOES NOT mean that he doesn't care. This simply means that he didn't notice what he did (or, did not do) to offend you. It is always better to discuss your insecurities and offences BEFORE you stew over them. Remember, your husband usually just wants to have fun and be loved. He is a man... and men don't think with their emotions in the same way that women do. So, stop the pouting. It only leads to an argument.

Proverbs 15:17
"Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith."

#6 - Are you in the habit of drinking alcohol or abusing prescription or non-prescription drugs? One sure way to kill a marriage is to drown it, numb it, or escape from it! I wonder just how many homes have been destroyed because of alcohol or drug abuse? You know the routine: a few drinks... next, suspicions and distorted judgements that lead to arguing... then, you call each other hurtful names... eventually, you might even wind up hitting one another. Don't say, "That won't ever happen to us. We can control ourselves. Besides, we only drink (or take these drugs) - sometimes." My friend, I pray that you won't play with fire any longer! The Bible says that we should be drunk with the Holy Ghost and not drunk with wine. The devil always has a counterfeit for everything that God does, and drinking alcohol is Satan's fake "high". He knows there is a real "high" that can only be found in being a born-again, spirit-filled, Child of the King and he doesn't want you to live in that realm. Drinking and taking drugs to relax is bad for your testimony, a careless example toward your children, and it is damaging to your marriage. The best advice is... Don't do it!

Proverbs 23:31-33
"Look not thou upon the wine when it is red, when it giveth his colour in the cup, when it moveth itself aright. At the last it biteth like a serpent, and stingeth like an adder. Thine eyes shall behold strange women, and thine heart shall utter perverse things."

#7 - Living on credit is a trick of the devil. While the world tells us that credit is the American way, the Lord says that we should live by faith and pay as we go. Granted, buying a house or maybe even buying a car can require one to rely on using credit in the US. Even so, Americans - as a whole - are buried in loans from credit card companies and banks because of over-spending. There are three main things that couples most often argue about: money, sex, and the children. Don't allow Satan to wedge his way into your marriage by biting into the alluring apple of debt. My husband and I have learned the hard way that there are many things we can live without. We have learned to be happy whether we have a pocket full of money and even if we're flat broke. Strengthen your marriage. Live by faith AND not on credit!

Proverbs 28:22
"He that hasteth to be rich hath an evil eye, and considereth not that poverty shall come upon him."

#8 - Adultery is not an option for anyone who is married... no matter how unhappy you think you are! Media has made the word "adultery" to be a watered down, digestible term referred to as an "affair". There is nothing about adultery that is watered down - nor digestible. God abhors it! Not only will adultery defile your marriage but it also mars the children, hurts relatives, confuses the church, and poisons YOU! Nothing good ever comes out of extra-marital relationships. Don't let your guard down. Flirty gestures and lewd comments can be lethal to your marriage. Adultery is the most painful of all sins in a marriage and, in most cases, it is unrepairable. The voices that you are hearing in your head about how much better your life would be with this other person - verses your spouse -ARE NOT FROM GOD.

TAKE THOSE THOUGHTS CAPTIVE... RUN THE OTHER WAY!

Proverbs 23:27
"For a whore is a deep ditch; and a strange woman is a narrow pit."

#9 - Honesty is always the best policy! If you are having trouble with something that your spouse said or did, tell them. The Bible teaches us to speak the truth in a loving way. That means, we should avoid bringing anger, resentment and hostility into our relationship. A good marriage has an open line of communication that isn't afraid of confrontation.

Proverbs 27:5
"Open rebuke is better than secret love."

#10 - Everyone loves gifts! Even your husband. Don't give him gifts because he deserves it or just because it is a special occasion. Give him gifts because you are working toward having a great marriage and you want to show him how much you love him. With men, gift giving can be really easy. Think sporting equipment... to a nice romantic dinner followed by a couples bubble bath! Yes, YOU can even BE THE PACKAGE! Keep your marriage alive by surprising your spouse with gifts throughout the year.

Proverbs 17:8
"A gift is as a precious stone in the eyes of him that hath it: whithersoever it turneth, it prospereth."

To read the Mother in Zion Series - # 1... CLICK HERE

http://www.deborahrossministries.org/

Mother in Zion Series - #1

PRACTICAL & BIBLICAL ADVICE FOR A HEALTHY MARRIAGE

The other day I was awakened by a phone call from a new wife and mom who was desperate for help in her marriage. As I began to minister to her, she made a comment to me that struck me as being a significant, yet, deficient need for wives all over the world. Her comment was,...

"No one has ever told me that before!"

That's when I realized the dire need for "spiritual mothers" - like myself - to share personal knowledge that, perhaps, was never offered by natural mothers; either because of their own personal failures, or, because of their lackadaisical approach to mother/daughter discussions. For this reason, I am offering this Mother in Zion Series which is dedicated to bullet point, practical tips that I pray will help wives - both young and old - to cultivate a healthy marriage that will truly make it until "death do us part."

Practical & Biblical Advice for a Healthy Marriage - by Deborah Ross

#1 - Your mate comes before your children. NEVER allow your children to come between you and your spouse. Remember, a healthy marriage makes the children happy because their confidence will be increased when they live in peace knowing that mom and dad love each other, have respect for one another, and express appropriate affection toward each other. Plus, children learn by example. As you and your spouse show forth a selfless, unconditional love that gives high priority to times of privacy, hand holding, hugging, laughter, and respect for one another, your children are learning what a healthy marriage looks like; and, they will more likely aim to have a healthy marriage - like yours - for themselves one day. Children can be very demanding and while we should aim to be great parents, we should never let our marriage suffer from the pressures of parenting.

Song of Solomon 6:3 - "I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine: he feedeth among the lilies."

#2 - Do not get into the habit of sleeping in separate beds. It is not healthy for married couples to sleep separately. So often, I hear of parents sleeping with the children rather than sleeping with each other. In my opinion it is better to make pallets beside of mom and dad's bed occasionally (when children are fussy, afraid, or have a fever) rather than slip into the habit of sleeping in the children's bed -apart from one another.

1 Corinthians 7:5 - "Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency."

#3 - Never go to sleep angry. Husband and wife need to come to a place of peace before going to sleep. This may mean that YOU will need to apologize. You may even have to apologize for something when you feel like you are in the right. The goal is not to win, but rather to have a reasonable discussion over conflicts and then to come to some type of peaceable solution at the end of the discussion. If your mate is not being rational about coming to a peaceable climax, then simply finish with... "I love you."

Ephesians 4:26 - "Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:"

#4 - Facebook, email, text, phone conversations, and on the job relationships should never be of intimate nature with the opposite sex. In other words, if you would be embarrassed for your spouse to see it or hear it... don't do it! Also, if you are carrying on a conversation that has any implication of being intimate in nature... run the other way! Many marriages end in divorce because of jealousy or even adultery simply because couples fail to adhere to sound practices concerning relationships with the opposite sex.

Proverbs 6:24 - "To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman."

#5 - You must be INTENTIONAL about your marriage. This means, you must intentionally carve out date nights, time for intimate conversations, times of selfless servant hood and sacrifice. Couples need to hold a high respect for their common goal of making it "until death do us part" with a relationship that is exciting and new... not old and worn out. Be intentional about spending quality TIME with each other. Don't let the busyness of life rob you of the precious moments with your spouse that bring lasting memories of love and laughter.

Proverbs 31:11-12 - "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life."

#6 - Time with your friends (of the same sex) is a good thing in moderation, however, too often I hear of women or men taking "vacations" with their friends - leaving their spouse behind. An occasional church retreat is OK, but an all out "vacation" at the beach, Vegas, the Bahamas, or somewhere else is not a wise idea. My grandmother always taught me, "What is good for the goose is good for the gander." If you reserve the right to go with your friends on a vacation without your spouse, then they should be able to go on one without you. Is that what you really want? I feel that vacation money and vacation time is too precious a commodity to spend away from my family. Plus, many of these "vacations away from your spouse" end up being opportunities to sin. Why throw your marriage out to the wolves. Marriage is a sacred thing and should be treated as something valuable. Let me remind you that no one ever intends to get a divorce. Divorce happens when someone in the marriage is careless in the relationship.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 - "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:"

#7 - Watch your mouth! Don't use sarcasm, degrading verbiage, slander, bad body language or negative vocal tones toward your spouse. Be intentional about complementing your spouse - especially in front of others. Get into the habit of encouraging your spouse. Never tear them down. No one has ever been motivated by negativity. If you want to see your spouse be all that they were created to be... encourage them!

Proverbs 18:21 - "Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof."

# 8 - Pray together... OUT LOUD. There is something about praying together as a married couple that creates a bond like none other. It may feel awkward, at first, but start to initiate bedtime prayer with one another and watch as God causes your marriage to bloom like never before. The saying is true... "A family that prays together, stays together!"

2 Timothy 1:3 - "I thank God, whom I serve from my forefathers with pure conscience, that without ceasing I have remembrance of thee in my prayers night and day;"

#9 - Sex is a vital part of your relationship as man and wife. Women should meet the need of their husband by responding to them with interest. Men need to meet the needs of their wife by sharing intimate conversation, romantic hand holding and kisses, and foreplay. So often, couples grow bored, tired, or uncaring toward their sexual relationship with each other. This is VERY DANGEROUS. You must be "intentional" about keeping your relationship ALIVE by keeping a healthy God honoring sexual intimacy with one another.

1 Corinthians 7:3-4 - "Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife."

#10 - Space. People need their space. Honor your spouse by making sure that they have times of refreshing by doing something that they like. Perhaps he likes to play golf occasionally or go to an occasional ball game. She may want to spend the day shopping or talking with friends. The key to a happy and healthy marriage is that personal space is reserved as something in moderation. It is not good for anyone in the marriage to spend obsessive amounts of time doing "their own thing." Use wisdom about the amount of time you spend outside of the home, with friends, or on hobbies.

Isaiah 28:12 - "To whom he said, This is the rest wherewith ye may cause the weary to rest; and this is the refreshing:"

#11 NEVER hit one another! God says that our bodies are the temple of the Lord, so when we hit our mate we are coming against the Lord's temple with violence. God commands us to love one another. In fact, He says to "love your neighbor as yourself." In this case, your spouse is your neighbor... and you would not hit yourself... so you shouldn't hit your spouse, either.

Psalm 11:5 - "The LORD trieth the righteous: but the wicked and him that loveth violence his soul hateth."

To read Mother in Zion - #2 CLICK HERE