Love is a Verb - Love Never Fails

Ask God to help you LOVE the unlovable... even if it's your spouse.

Love is an ACTION, not a feeling.

God's love changes things.

God's love being manifested in your ACTIONS changes things.

Don't say, "I tried that and it didn't work."

God DID NOT say, "TRY to love the unlovable."

God DID SAY, "live a lifestyle of loving."

Love suffers long.

How long?

As long as it takes.

GOD'S LOVE NEVER FAILS.

Do you show forth God's love?

Broken people do broken things.

Sinners sin.

Try praying for the salvation of your spouse.

Separation is not good. It gives the devil more room to work.

Separation is only good as a last resort, or in the case of physical abuse.

Separation does not mean divorce.

Why be so quick to quit? God's timetable and your timetable are not the same.

Never allow physical abuse to harm you or your children.

Ask God the root of the problem.

Pray for the root cause to be healed. Believe for God's best.

God hates divorce; because, divorce hurts people.

But you say, "I'm hurting, so I want a divorce."

In most cases, divorce doesn't solve the problem, it only changes the problem.

Patience. Time. Wait on the Lord.

The devil is after your seed (your children).

The devil loves divorce because he gains access to the souls (mind, will and emotions) of your children - perhaps for a lifetime.

Continue to LOVE in spite of the pain.

God is FOR your marriage.

God is FOR your family.

God is FOR the souls of men.

Maybe... you were CALLED for "such a time as this?"

Will you say, "If I perish, I perish?"

This DOES NOT mean a physical death. But, maybe some things, some agendas, some plans, some careers need to be laid on the altar for a season to the saving of your family.

DIE TO SELF.

Marriage is not easy.

Your marriage should be a reflection of your covenant relationship with the Lord.

Does God give up on you?

Would you quit your relationship with the Lord if your blessings dry up?

Would you ever divorce your children if they were in gross rebellion?

Is your spouse not just as much a part of your life as your children?

Love Never Fails. - 1 Corinthians 13:8

YES, THIS IS A MARRIAGE 911 CALL.

Fight the good fight of faith.

Be careful who you let speak into your life.

If you want to win the battle, get counsel from someone who has been there and won.

The devil is crafty. He uses "words" to convince God's children to quit.

Your family, your testimony, your future, your life is worth the fight.

Don't quit!

THE BATTLE IS THE LORD's!

"Well done thou good and faithful servant."

Deborah Ross Ministries

*Disclosures:

1) If you are already divorced, there is no condemnation. Pray and ask God to heal everyone involved (including your ex, the third party and your children). 

2)This post is intended to save marriages.

3) If you are divorced and praying for reconciliation, we will believe with you, and for you.

4) If you are in a physically abusive relationship, please get help immediately.

#ThinkAboutIt #DivorceStinks #LoveNeverFails #SuchATimeAsThis#Legacy #Family #Love

Deborah Ross Ministries

Healing a Broken Marriage

#Woman2Woman

Revelation 12:11 (KJV) - And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; AND THEY LOVED NOT THEIR LIFE UNTO THE DEATH.

This means, GIVE IT TO GOD... DON'T BE SO CONCERNED WITH YOUR PERSONAL HAPPINESS AND COMFORT RIGHT NOW... GO ALL IN FOR THE VICTORY!

Free fall into God's Kingdom. Cast your care upon Him, for He cares for you!

www.HealingABrokenMarriage.com

www.DeborahRossMinistries.org

Facebook: /DeborahRossMinistries

Twitter: @DeborahRoss_DRM

Look for the Save It Marriage Ministry

#RealTalk #Woman2Woman #SaveItMarriageMinistry #MotherInZion

Marriage or Divorce?

 

Dealing with Unfaithfulness

Dear Child of God:

I get emails and phone calls all the time from those suffering in marital hardships who are looking for hope in their seemingly bleak situation. The question below is one that I received by email and I'd like to share it with all of you as a Remnant Woman writes the following...

Question:

How do you stand for a marriage when your husband just uses you and cares nothing about you? Especially when you show them unconditional love and they know you are standing so they use that to their advantage. What kind of self respect can you have for yourself to allow yourself to be used like that? Especially when your husband is sleeping with other people and telling them lies about you? Wouldn't God want you to be free to move on and live a new life? My husband isn't sorry for what he has done.

My Reply:
My heart breaks for you. I know it is very difficult to live, day-to-day, with a broken heart that bleeds, because of betrayal from your spouse.

I will offer you this one Biblical escape from your torment, but I must also add that this is not necessarily God's best. In Matthew 19 Jesus tells the Pharisees that divorce is permitted in the case of adultery; but, He also adds that divorce is permitted because of the "hardness of our hearts." Even if you divorce your spouse, you must still forgive him (or her)... I mean truly forgive. Remember, God sees the heart. While others may not be able to see the bitterness that can be tucked away in a person's soul for many years (even a lifetime) - God sees it all.

As one who has overcome marital adversity, it is my conclusion that if I must forgive my husband, I'd rather fight for his salvation (aiming to win the whole prize: our marriage, his salvation, and my clean heart) than to face the arduous task of trying to truly forgive after a bitter divorce.

God will use us as vessels of Himself as we stand in the gap for those who are lost and living in darkness. Your spouse is obviously lost and living in darkness. While it is very painful to love someone who is unlovable, we are also told that learning to love our enemies is what makes us more like Christ (Matthew 5:44, Luke 6:27, Luke 6:35).

1 Corinthians 13:8 says that "Love Never Fails." While praying for your spouse, be sure to mix your faith with your Christ-like actions.  It is important to speak the truth about God's Word and and the truth about sin... but not in a nagging way.  Sweeping things under the rug is not going to make it go away.

In addition, you'll need to live as an example of Christ before your mate's eyes.  Most importantly, you must forgive. God will soften the heart of your spouse as you create fertile ground for your miracle through your obedience to the Holy Spirit. It is not a quick fix. You will need to ask yourself many times over if you can withstand the challenge of this spiritual warfare, knowing that the devil will not back down easily.

As you ask the Holy Spirit for His daily guidance and protection, while placing yourself in the strong hand of God, He will take care of you; guiding you step by step through the process of this dark valley. God is all-knowing and all-powerful. He knows exactly what it will take for your husband /wife to surrender and repent of their sins. God will use you as a vessel of light as you completely surrender to His pathway to wholeness for your family. Most importantly, you'll need to trust that your faith in God's Word will bring forth the promise of a restored marriage with a born-again spouse.

Many people come to the conclusion that someone will never change and so they give up the fight. I like to say, how long would you believe for the salvation of your child? How long would you commit to being the parent of your child if they were in rebellion and sinning against you? Is your husband any more disposable than your child?

God does not want any to perish. He wants everyone to become a born-again Child of God. God does not want any marriage to end in divorce. He wants all families to remain whole. Knowing this, you can pray with confidence, knowing that God is on your side. The waiting and the suffering is not fun, but it is what every Christian goes through at some point or another - in some area of their faith.

Romans 5:1-5

Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:

By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.

 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;

 And patience, experience; and experience, hope:

 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

When we suffer for righteousness sake, God works out things in our own lives that, perhaps, we didn't even know needed attention. He molds us and shapes us to be more like Himself as we surrender our will, to His. Though our surrender may be extremely painful for a season, we don't do it as one who has no hope. Instead, we do it knowing that God is faithful and He will not make us ashamed in the end.

We cannot change our spouse, but God can... and He wants to! I want to encourage you to pray the Women's Marriage Prayer, daily.  (Marriage Prayer for Men) Also, I currently have my audio message of Faith, Forgiveness, Future posted at the bottom of this blog that you can freely listen to for encouragement - right from your computer. My teaching series of Root Digger, Not a Rug Sweeper (available on my web-site) is another valuable tool of encouragement that will help you during this season of pain. Finally, I have a new book titled, Healing a Broken Marriage: Love Never Fails . I highly recommend these resources, as they may prove vital to the outcome of your journey.

Again, you are ultimately the only one who can decide how to handle your situation. Divorce is permitted... but, it is not necessarily the best way. Ask the Lord to show you what to do - day by day - and He will. He loves you AND He loves your husband. He wants each of you born-again and set free from the bondage of sin.

Romans 5

"Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us."

______________________

Then, another Remnant Woman writes...

As a "seasoned Christian," I actually pray for God's refining fires however, when they come in by way of infidelity I find that I fail the test every time. When I found out about the last incident, that happened between my husband and my brother's wife, I thought I would lose my mind. I shut down in every area of life and depression took over. I felt like a lousy Christian because I was consumed by grief. I felt like the Lord would never be able to use me again. I had always been committed to my family in spite of the infidelities, however, this one had crossed the family lines. What made matters worse was she had just lost her mother to cancer the same month I found out and had gained all the other family members sympathy in spite of her indiscretion. I was told to just "drop it and forgive and forget." There would be no accountability, how was I to handle that? I was at the end of my rope, I just couldn't take anymore of anything. The pain inside was unbearable, so much so that I began cutting on myself just to relieve it! What kind of Christian cuts herself to relieve pain when she should be turning to Jesus for comfort and healing? The joy of the Lord is supposed to be my strength! I began to doubt my own salvation. Then the tears of remorse began to wash over me as I remembered the day I was saved and baptized with the fire of the Holy Spirit. There was no denying that to be true. Then the guilt of conviction kicked in, that I had abused my own vessel, God's temple, making me feel worse. Oh, would this merry-go-round of emotion, grief, and conviction ever stop? What was I missing in the lesson that I had to endure the pain of infidelity a fifth time? What are you trying to teach me Lord? I prayed, "Lord, please send me a teacher who will make it all make sense. Surround me with your "spirit-filled" people that will gently walk me through this trial so that I can be victorious this time." This is where your book found it's way into my hands and I rejoiced and cried as I read it. I said to myself, "This woman has the answers I seek Lord! She has Your wisdom Lord. Your Word is in her mouth and you have taken her on a similar journey and she has come out victorious!" Truly, Deborah, had it not been for your book, I would still be spinning on the merry-go-round in darkness trying to find the off switch. Thank you for shining your light through my darkness so I could "find" and "hit" the off switch! You gave me clarity where I could only see darkness. Glory be to God and may He bless your ministry ten thousand fold!

_________________________

 

Final Words from Deborah:

 

 

To God be the Glory for every marriage restored, every broken heart mended, and every tormented mind that receives the peace of God.

This blog entry is a re-post from 2009 with some editing.  This topic seems to be the most popular title to date.  I am believing for your marriage restoration.  Remember, God has a remedy for those trapped in an unequally yoked marriage... glorious salvation for all.

In Christ,

Deborah Ross

Deborah Ross Ministries, Inc.

Strengthening Families; Encouraging Faith; Preaching the Gospel

http://www.deborahrossministries.org/

Being Strong and of Good Courage in Marriage

1 Chronicles 22:13


Then shalt thou prosper, if thou takest heed to fulfil the statutes and judgments which the LORD charged Moses with concerning Israel: be strong, and of good courage; dread not, nor be dismayed.

When you think of someone who is brave, what comes to your mind?  Do you think of a soldier who is not afraid to invade enemy territory?  Maybe you visualize a skydiver who thinks nothing of jumping from an airplane.  Often times you may stand in amazement at the person who is not afraid to take on a "bigger than life" project.  Or, perhaps your thoughts of bravery imagine someone who has the confidence to speak before large crowds of people.  For some, being brave simply means not being afraid of the dark. 

In the word of God, we are admonished, over-and-over again, to trust the Lord in all things.  Trusting in God requires faith.  When we act upon our faith - by obeying the voice of the Lord - we step out into the unknown, which requires bravery.  Then, once we move toward acquiring what the Lord says we can have, we must remain strong and of good courage so that the devil's sure resistance (which tries to thwart God's promises) won't cause us to back down from our obedience. 

Did you know that marriage requires us to be strong and of good courage?  From the moment we say "I Do" and throughout our entire journey of life's ups and downs, marriage requires bravery!

Let's think, first, about the obstacles in life that tend to cause many marriages to dissolve:  communication problems, financial problems, sexual problems, children problems, in-law problems, agreement problems, spiritual/church problems, addiction problems, sickness problems, adultery problems, lack of team work problems... and the list goes on.  The devil comes up with nothing new.  He throws the same stumbling blocks across the path of every marriage.  Why?  Because marriage is a sacred covenant ordained of God that brings multiplication to His Kingdom.  Godly marriages produce a lineage of faith and so the devil tries everything in his power to destroy God's formula for creating generational blessings upon the earth. 

Joshua 1:6


Be strong and of a good courage: for unto this people shalt thou divide for an inheritance the land, which I sware unto their fathers to give them.

So, what is a person to do when faced with crippling hardships in their marriage?  The answer:  FIGHT!  Now, we are never instructed to fight against flesh and blood.  Instead, the Lord teaches us to war against principalities, powers, and rulers of the darkness.  When we fully understand the Lord's desire for us to trust in His love, we will then be able to free-fall into the arms of our faith knowing that His promises not only can, but will, bring healing and blessing to our marriage.  God is "for" our marriage.  He is "for" our family.  The Lord is "for" the salvation of every person and He wants every marriage to inherit a land that is flowing with milk and honey.

In Numbers 13, when Moses sends twelve spies out to report back about the Promised Land of Canaan, ten of the twelve came back with fear and doubt.  Yes, they saw a land that flowed with milk and honey just as God had promised.  Yet, because they also saw giants in the land, they assumed that it would be impossible for them to ever obtain what the Lord had promised to give them.  Ten of the spies allowed fear to overrule bravery; and, therefore, God did not allow them to enter into that place of victory where they could eat of the fruit of His bountiful inheritance.

On the other hand, Joshua and Caleb - who saw the exact same thing as the other ten spies, were not afraid of the giants.  God's promises were magnified in their hearts and minds above the obstacles that their eyes beheld.  Only Joshua and Caleb came back to report that they were ready to fight for their inheritance.  These two spies were confident that the Lord would give them what He had promised.  They believed that God was on their side and that He would make a way where there seemed to be no way.

Sadly, the tens spies who feared fighting for God's promises encouraged the entire congregation of Israel to walk in terror.  They began to murmur and complain about their circumstance instead of speaking to their trepidation according to the word of the Lord.  Because of their unbelief, that entire generation of God's chosen people died in the wilderness, having never walked in the promised land.

Isn't the voice of those doubting spies much like the call of the world today which says, "If things get too tough in marriage, get a divorce.  After-all, the giant of adultery... or, the giant of addiction... or, the giant of financial pressure is just too overwhelming to ever overcome.  God didn't really intend for your promised land of marriage to come with so many battles, did He?  You are justified to murmur and complain against your spouse and against the commandments of God.  It's OK to vindicate bitterness in your mind toward those who seem to have it so easy in their marriage.  You'll never defeat these giants in your life.  You'll be better off to die single than to fight this battle of trying to stay married.  Patience and forgiveness are just too hard."

Choosing to enter into battle in order to gain victory requires bravery.  In Joshua 1:7, the Lord says to, "Only be strong and very courageous... turn not from it to the right hand or to the left..."  When faced with marital hardships that seem impossible to overcome, that is just the time to trust the Lord in all things.  It's easy to trust God during times of peace, but the real test of our faith comes when we can believe him in the times of our troubles. 

Remember, God will allow His children to choose their path.  Then, just as He provided for the children of Israel after they rebelled against His commandments by refusing to fight for their promised land, He will also provide for His children who bail out of their marriage.  Still, there will always be that unknown blessing that could have been obtained if only married couples would be strong and courageous in every battle that is set before them.  Like the Israelite's who never lived in the promised land, those who give up in their marriage will never experience the blessings that only come through entering into battle.

The Lord has a land of milk and honey in mind for every marriage and every family.  He paints a picture of it in His word and then places those desires in our hearts.  Yes, He wants His children to have His best and He will be faithful to His word if we will just believe Him and fight against the powers of darkness which try to divert His plan.  Marriage takes courage.  It requires bravery.  But, oh, the prize that awaits those who - like Joshua and Caleb - magnify the promises of the Lord above the obstacles in life.

Some powerful visualizations to help you endure the conflicts that are sure to come in marriage might include:  Think of one day sitting in a rocker on your front, with your false teeth, and looking over at your spouse to say, "We made it!"  Think of the joy of winning battles together and then testifying of God's power working in your lives.  Think of growing old with someone who has seen you at your worst and at your best, yet, still finds you the most beautiful creature on the face of the earth.  Finally, think of taking your last breathe as you reflect on the memories of your children, your grand-children, and maybe even your great grand-children whom you have watched inherit generational blessings because of your obedience to fight for the things of God. 

Marriage should be a picture of our relationship with Christ.  In our marriage to Jesus, we are confident that He will never leave us nor forsake us - no matter how we sin against Him, and no matter what our faults.  The Lord is always there for us.  In this same way, we should be resolute to our marriage vows as we stand in bravery with our mate (who is sure to disappoint us many times over throughout the course of a life-time).  Finally, marriage should be an unwavering commitment to the love story of 1 Corinthians 13 which states:

1 Corinthians 13:4-8:

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.Charity never faileth:

Will you choose to fight for your promised land?  Will you choose to be strong and of good courage in your marriage?  Because... marriage requires bravery!

By: Deborah Ross

www.DeborahRossMinistries.org

www.HealingABrokenMarriage.com

Marriage - Are You Doing the Word?

James 1:19 KJV

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man (or woman) be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man (or woman) worketh not the righteousness of God.

- emphasis added -

My grandmother always taught me to "kill'em with kindness."  She always said it would be difficult  for someone to be ugly to you if you continued to treat them with respect and dignity.  As hard as her lesson was for me to understand as a child, today, I can clearly see how her teachings were Biblical principles that God would one day reveal to me as truth.  These words were buried deep within my soul as a child, and, no doubt, have helped me to withstand some difficult situations in my own marriage while I patiently waited for my breakthrough to finally arrive.

I think the book of James is a good starting place for us to study in seeking how we can learn to silence arguments and put an end to dysfunction in our homes.  James says that we are to be "swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath."  Until we recognize that change begins within US, we will forever be trying to "fix" everyone else  - in particular, our spouse.  We will never rest in the promises of our Lord for complete victory in our marriage, until we settle it in our heart that "we cannot change our spouse!"  So, let us take instruction from James that our breakthrough will manifest only if we do our part.  We must learn to control OUR MOUTH by praying, "Lord help me to listen more and talk less, so that You can work in my marriage."

In addition, James 1:22 says that we should be "doers of the word, and not hearers only."  Now, being a doer of the word does not mean that we make others...  "do the word."  On the contrary, it means that we make ourselves come into agreement with the word of the Lord even while in adverse circumstances.  Marriage is not always easy (especially if one spouse is lost).  Even so, as Christians, we are to do our part by being obedient to the things of God - even while it is not convenient.  If it were easy to be a "doer of the word", then being a "doer" would not require faith.  But, we are people of faith and we need to understand that our faith grows as we exercise it.  So don't be afraid to exercise your faith when it comes to being a doer of the word in your marriage.

There is one themed rebuttal that is always spoken to me by someone hurting in marriage:  "But you don't know what they did to me" or "You don't understand what I have to put up with."  When these valid comments come across my ministry, I gently take these broken souls back to God's word which speaks of self control, controlling our tongue, praying, and trusting Him.  Granted, one spouse in the marriage may be like a wild bull running through a china store.  Still, that doesn't justify the other spouse to be moved, shaken, or provoked to sin against God.  In the midst of a marital storm, we must remember that God is on the throne and He loves our marriage.  He is on our side and will fight our battles for us if we will just tame ourselves and lay our marriage on the altar for Him to work a miracle.  Malachi 2:16 says, God hates divorce, so our job as a married Christian is to work toward avoiding divorce... even through the fiercest storm. 

The devil is forever tempting God's children.  He knows that if he can just get a Christian to be drawn away of his own lust and enticed to sin then he can kill them.  His greatest thrill is to see sin conceived in a child of God because it is sure to bring forth death in certain areas of their life.  For instance, if the devil can get us to enter into arguing with our spouse, he has a better chance at getting us to believe that we are justified in hating them.  Then once we are convinced that we don't need our spouse anymore (because we just can't get along), we are now in a position to believe that divorce is OK in our situation.  Divorce is the calculated death that the devil is ultimately seeking to arrange in the lives of every married couple.  But the devil doesn't stop there.  The enemy of our soul will go much further than the initial divorce.  Most often, divorce  causes bitterness to fester.  Bitterness leads to wrath... and wrath leads to revenge.  Now does anger, bitterness, wrath, and revenge sound like characteristics of one claiming to be a Child of God?  (See James 1:3-15)

So in conclusion, James 1 says that our religion is vain if we don't learn to bridle our tongue.  Remember the trying of our faith (especially in marriage) teaches us to have patience.  And, the patience produced in us will make us perfect in the end.  This means that our faith will be purified in our trials, making us ready to receive the reward that God has waiting for those who believe Him and act according to His word even throughout adverse circumstances. 

Hebrews 11:6

But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

If you haven't already read my story, I'd like to encourage you to pick up a copy of my book, Healing a Broken Marriage, today.  I have experienced, first hand, how God's word will come to pass in seemingly hopeless marital conditions of my own.  Today, my marriage is healed and thriving because the Lord is faithful and His word is true!  My book is a step by step faith walk of praying for my husband for twelve years as heartache after heartache pointed toward divorce.  Glory to God, the devil didn't win the battle and now I live to tell others how they, too, can claim victory in their home.  My book teaches practical and spiritual lessons that must be mixed together to bring results.   

The Lord doesn't want any to perish.  He wants all to come to salvation.  As the spouse who professes to know God (I say this because you are reading this article), I exhort you to stand strong and see the salvation of the Lord for your loved one.  Believe God against all odds.  And, very important, mix all of your faith with God- centered actions that will create fertile soil for your miracle.  When you line yourself up with Kingdom principles in your "doing", you can expect results from a God who loves you, loves your marriage, and loves your children.

So take the narrow road, tame your tongue, harness your emotions, exercise your faith, and trust God in all things.  He loves you!

 Job 6:24 KJV
Teach me, and I will hold my tongue: and cause me to understand wherein I have erred.

A Healthly Marriage

My prayer for your marriage is that the following things will become REAL as you study God's Word and press in to have a life-long marriage of joy, peace, intimacy and friendship with your spouse.

POINTS TO PONDER FOR A HEALTHY MARRIAGE...

1) A God centered marriage is made up of 3 - God, Man, Woman - Diagram: Draw a triangle and put God at the top!  Write your name on one corner and your spouses name on the other corner.  As you both look up to Christ and put God FIRST in all things... your marriage will be blessed! 

2) God is "for" your marriage! It "is" His will that you and your spouse love each other until "death do you part". He is on your side in difficult times!

3) You must be INTENTIONAL about keeping a marriage that is ALIVE and THRIVING!

4) FORGIVENESS is a commandment... not a suggestion!

5) Always pray: Lord change ME! Get out of a self-centered approach to Christianity and into a Christ-centered life-style that is willing to lay down all agenda's for the sake of your family. As YOU become more like Jesus, your behavior WILL affect the behavior of your spouse. LOVE NEVER FAILS!

6) Always speak (and seek) the TRUTH in LOVE. Take the masks off. Don't avoid issues. Live in truth yourself... and set a godly example for your spouse.

7) Be willing to leave and cleave by breaking generational curses and by pulling down strong holds that will sneak in to destroy a good marriage over the course of a life-time.

8) Men: Love your wife as Christ loves the church AND gave His life for her.
Some ways to lavish your love on your wife:
*LISTENING TO HER
*GIVING HER GIFTS AND/OR EXTRA MONEY FROM TIME TO TIME TO SPEND ON HERSELF FOR BEAUTY TREATMENTS & TAPESTRY OF SILK AND PURPLE (nice clothing)
*TAKING YOUR TIME IN LOVE MAKING - WOMEN ARE LIKE CROCK POTS... SLOW TO WARM UP
*ROMANCE GOES A LONG WAY - TAKE YOUR WIFE ON A DATE AT LEAST ONCE PER WEEK
*BECOME THE HEAD OF THE HOUSEHOLD UNDER CHRIST JESUS - DON'T BE A BOY - BE A MAN!!!
*GIVE HER SECURITY IN ALL THINGS - FROM FINANCES... TO PROTECTION... TO THE BEDROOM - SHE NEEDS TO FEEL SAFE WITH YOU
*ALWAYS FLEE THE APPEARANCE OF EVIL - PORNOGRAPHY, ALCOHOL & DRUGS, ETC. WILL KILL YOUR MARRIAGE - INTENTIONALLY AVOID THESE THINGS
*TAKE AN INTEREST IN THE HOME (Honey-Do)
*PRAY OUT LOUD WITH YOUR WIFE
* PUT YOUR WIFE AND CHILDREN ABOVE YOUR BUDDIES AND YOUR SPORTING EVENTS

9) Women: Submit to your OWN husband.
Some ways to lavish your love on your husband:
*GIVING HIM SPACE TO MAKE MISTAKES
*HONORING HIM AS HEAD OF THE HOUSEHOLD... EVEN IF HE IS NOT SURE OF HIS POSITION, YET
*DON'T WITHHOLD LOVE MAKING FROM YOUR HUSBAND
*DON'T BELITTLE YOUR HUSBAND
*BE HIS HELP MATE - HELP HIM TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN HIS CAREER AND REPUTATION IN THE COMMUNITY
*PRAY DEUT. 28 OVER YOUR HUSBAND
*COOK & CLEAN WITH JOY
*USE PLEASANT WORDS AND PLEASANT TONES WITH YOUR HUSBAND
*BE BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT - PRACTICE BEING BEAUTIFUL FOR YOUR HUSBAND
*LEARN TO ENJOY SOME ACTIVITIES THAT YOUR HUSBAND ENJOYS
*STOP WISHING YOUR HUSBAND WAS LIKE SOMEONE ELSE - INSTEAD, PRAY THAT GOD HELPS YOU TO DIG OUT THE TREASURE FROM WITHIN YOUR HUSBAND'S SOUL
*LOOK AFTER YOUR HOUSEHOLD WITH PRAYER AND WISDOM
*DON'T ALLOW YOUR CHILDREN TO COME BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND
*DO NOT BE A NAG!  BE A PRAYER WARRIOR, INSTEAD!

10) Remember - WORDS are powerful!!! Make sure you don't destroy your marriage (or your children) with hurtful words or a demeaning tone.

11) Take up your cross and follow Christ.
Every trial is an opportunity for a miracle!  Every burden is an opportunity for YOU to grow in Christ!

12) THE GRASS IS NOT ALWAYS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HILL!!! IT HAS TO BE MOWED, TOO!
Stop fantasizing about being married to someone else.  Make YOUR marriage work!!!

13) READ YOUR BIBLE - Don't depend solely on the preacher.  Don't get all of your spiritual reading from devotionals that someone else has written.  Read the pure Word of God and let the Holy Spirit speak directly to you. 

14) Cultivate your FAITH.
Faith in God's Word pleases Him. He loves you and He wants to do you good and not evil. Trust Him. (Perfect love cast out all fear.)

15)  Believe it or not, in a broken marriage it only takes ONE to bring about healing.  If one person in the relationship is willing to live out Christ before their mate and endure hardship for a season (could be years), God can soften the other person's heart and draw them to Himself.  I am a living example of ONE PERSON working to have a whole marriage in Christ Jesus. 

Read my book, Healing a Broken Marriage: Love Never Fails, to hear my full story and see how God can save your marriage... if you only believe and trust Him in all things.

16)  First and foremost, make sure that YOU and your SPOUSE are born-again, spirit-filled believer's in Christ Jesus.  If you have ANY doubt about the salvation of your spouse, this is the first place to begin your prayer for them.

17)  The "D" word does not exist. God hates divorce.  Don't think about it.  Don't let it be an option.


18)  Unfortunately, many of you reading this blog post have been married before. Be sure to repent of all wrong doing from your first marriage (stop blaming the other person) and ask God to forgive you for your previous divorce. Purge ALL bitterness.  Remember, God sees the heart so you can't fake forgiveness.  Cry out to Him daily until you have truly forgiven. 
 
Once you have come clean with God, trust him to give you blessings abundantly in the marriage you now have. The gospel is not a message of condemnation, but a message of TRUTH. God wants us to live in truth and to be free from the torment of sin.

Also, be sensitive to any children you may have who were left victims of divorce from your previous marriage. No matter their age, it is often very difficult for them to heal from the effects of a broken home. God would have you to be honest, transparent and sympathetic to their struggles in dealing with their own pain. Plus, some issues won't surface for many years. It could take a life time to bring healing in their life so be patient and don't give up on them. They need you!

THE PURPLE SECTION BELOW:  
From Family Fortress Ministries...
http://www.familyfortress.org/ 

(O) Divorce and Remarriage.


Divorce


We believe that the Bible gives three legitimate reasons for ending a marriage:


1) The first legitimate Biblical allowance for ending marriage is the death of a spouse (1 Corinthians 7:39; Romans 7:2-4).


2) The second legitimate Biblical allowance is fornication (Matthew 19:9) which is inclusive of all other sexual sins covered by the term porneia (fornication): homosexuality, bestiality, prostitution, etc.


3) The third legitimate Biblical allowance is desertion of a believing spouse by an unbelieving spouse (1 Corinthians 7:15). Of course when a believing spouse is deserted by a professing believer, the professing believer (unrepentant) can be disciplined by the church, so that the situation becomes that of a believer divorced by an unbeliever. So in effect any desertion can be, with appropriate church involvement, grounds for divorce. The Christian should not initiate divorcing a non-Christian, but should live graciously with their spouse to quietly represent Christ with an infectious demeanor, kindness, generosity, and service (1 Corinthians 7:15).


Remarriage:


In Scripture, whenever legitimate divorce occurs, freedom to remarry is assumed. When divorce is permitted, so is remarriage. The innocent party of a divorce due to adultery may remarry. Remarriage after one has been betrayed by an adulterous spouse does not constitute adultery. The person marrying a previously married spouse who was the victim of an adulterous person also does not constitute adultery. This is implied but not specifically proscribed in Matthew 19:9.


A believer who remarries after a non-Christian spouse divorces the believing spouse constitutes a legitimate marriage (1 Corinthians 7:15).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The section below is from me...

PHYSICAL ABUSE:

Physical abuse should not be tolerated. Get out. Protect yourself and your children. It doesn’t necessarily mean divorce. Use wisdom in such cases and ask God for His pathway to healing.

ADULTERY or SPOUSE LEFT YOU
Please keep in mind that God is able to restore a marriage after adultery AND He is able to bring that wayward spouse that left you back home again.  God is willing and able to save ALL from sin and to bring ALL into everlasting life. 

The question's you must ask yourself are: 

Am I willing to wait on the Lord? 

Am I willing to forgive? 

Divorce is NOT God's will.  He only makes a way of escape in certain circumstances in which one person is abandoned or betrayed. 

Pray for reconciliation.  Pray for forgiveness.  Pray for salvation.

In Christ,

Deborah Ross
Mother in Zion Series
Deborah Ross Ministries
http://www.deborahrossministries.org/

Mother in Zion Series - # 2

PRACTICAL & BIBLICAL ADVICE FOR A HEALTHY MARRIAGE by Deborah Ross

Today's study is based on various Proverbs from God's Word.

After an overwhelming response from the Mother in Zion Series #1, I am eager to share more nuggets of truth that will help wives - both young and old - to cultivate a healthy marriage that will last a lifetime. I believe that Satan's number one target is the family. It is only by being INTENTIONAL about our marriage that we can ever expect to truly weather the storms of life.

Below are 10 points to ponder...

#1 - Money isn't everything! While we all need money to survive - and I certainly do believe that God wants to bless us financially - still, as wives, we should never allow our primary focus to be on our financial status. Too often, I'll see women getting caught up in worldly desires of wanting more, charging more, expecting more... all the while being satisfied - LESS! Remember, even though it IS God's desire to bless you and your family financially, you should never allow money to dictate your happiness. In fact, some of life's most precious moments will actually stem from times of financial hardship in your marriage. When you said, "For richer, for poorer", those words were meant to be a promise kept forever - no matter how difficult the circumstance. Arguments over money have destroyed way too many homes. Don't let it destroy yours!

Proverbs 15:16
"Better is little with the fear of the LORD than great treasure and trouble therewith."

#2 - Study your husband! A godly wife has studied her husband's likes and dislikes. She knows how to please him. Remember, Satan is sure to have someone "else" studying your husband at various points throughout your married life. I would not want anyone to know more about my husband's thoughts, desires, habits, likes or dislikes than ME and the only way to be sure of this is to "study" my own husband. Do you know YOUR HUSBAND'S deepest desires?

Proverbs 15:28
"The heart of the righteous studieth to answer: but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things."

#3 - Boob jobs, tummy tucks, face lifts, body sculpting, body piercings, tattoos, make-up, high heels, low cut blouses, micro-mini skirts and so on should not be necessary for your husband to find you attractive. While I don't believe the Lord is against women looking their best, I am certain He would not have us consumed with adjusting our physical appearance in unhealthy or seductive ways. The Word of God is very clear that our inner beauty is much more important than our outward looks. Of course, the "world" says to: lift it, tuck it, change it, flaunt it and shake it. But, God says that true beauty is elegant, graceful, pure, holy and modest. If you are feeling the need to compete with pornographic pictures, television and magazine commercials or even worldly girlfriends who don't know Christ in order to keep your husband's attention, there is something seriously wrong with either your marriage or your self-esteem. Make grooming your inner self (being transformed by God's Word) a top priority. Of course, you should not neglect to keep your outward appearance pretty and well-maintained with good hygiene. But remember, in looking your best for your husband you should NEVER allow the latest "beauty trend" to lure you into compromising your dignity, your health, or your testimony.

Proverbs 11:22
"As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion."

#4 - I asked my husband what he would like to contribute to this article and his response was...

"Tell them, DON'T NAG. Men hate it!"

Are you a nagging wife? If you are, I pray that you will ask God to help you bridle your tongue, IMMEDIATELY! One of the quickest ways to kill a marriage is to be a continuous nag toward your husband. Once he officially TURNS YOU OFF, you will really wonder "why" he never responds to your requests.

Proverbs 21:19
"It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman."

#5 - Ladies, pouting doesn't solve anything. I know, we all like to play charades once in a while, especially when our feelings get hurt. Your man may be clueless about "why" you are upset. He may truly want to make things better, but just doesn't know where to start. This DOES NOT mean that he doesn't care. This simply means that he didn't notice what he did (or, did not do) to offend you. It is always better to discuss your insecurities and offences BEFORE you stew over them. Remember, your husband usually just wants to have fun and be loved. He is a man... and men don't think with their emotions in the same way that women do. So, stop the pouting. It only leads to an argument.

Proverbs 15:17
"Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith."

#6 - Are you in the habit of drinking alcohol or abusing prescription or non-prescription drugs? One sure way to kill a marriage is to drown it, numb it, or escape from it! I wonder just how many homes have been destroyed because of alcohol or drug abuse? You know the routine: a few drinks... next, suspicions and distorted judgements that lead to arguing... then, you call each other hurtful names... eventually, you might even wind up hitting one another. Don't say, "That won't ever happen to us. We can control ourselves. Besides, we only drink (or take these drugs) - sometimes." My friend, I pray that you won't play with fire any longer! The Bible says that we should be drunk with the Holy Ghost and not drunk with wine. The devil always has a counterfeit for everything that God does, and drinking alcohol is Satan's fake "high". He knows there is a real "high" that can only be found in being a born-again, spirit-filled, Child of the King and he doesn't want you to live in that realm. Drinking and taking drugs to relax is bad for your testimony, a careless example toward your children, and it is damaging to your marriage. The best advice is... Don't do it!

Proverbs 23:31-33
"Look not thou upon the wine when it is red, when it giveth his colour in the cup, when it moveth itself aright. At the last it biteth like a serpent, and stingeth like an adder. Thine eyes shall behold strange women, and thine heart shall utter perverse things."

#7 - Living on credit is a trick of the devil. While the world tells us that credit is the American way, the Lord says that we should live by faith and pay as we go. Granted, buying a house or maybe even buying a car can require one to rely on using credit in the US. Even so, Americans - as a whole - are buried in loans from credit card companies and banks because of over-spending. There are three main things that couples most often argue about: money, sex, and the children. Don't allow Satan to wedge his way into your marriage by biting into the alluring apple of debt. My husband and I have learned the hard way that there are many things we can live without. We have learned to be happy whether we have a pocket full of money and even if we're flat broke. Strengthen your marriage. Live by faith AND not on credit!

Proverbs 28:22
"He that hasteth to be rich hath an evil eye, and considereth not that poverty shall come upon him."

#8 - Adultery is not an option for anyone who is married... no matter how unhappy you think you are! Media has made the word "adultery" to be a watered down, digestible term referred to as an "affair". There is nothing about adultery that is watered down - nor digestible. God abhors it! Not only will adultery defile your marriage but it also mars the children, hurts relatives, confuses the church, and poisons YOU! Nothing good ever comes out of extra-marital relationships. Don't let your guard down. Flirty gestures and lewd comments can be lethal to your marriage. Adultery is the most painful of all sins in a marriage and, in most cases, it is unrepairable. The voices that you are hearing in your head about how much better your life would be with this other person - verses your spouse -ARE NOT FROM GOD.

TAKE THOSE THOUGHTS CAPTIVE... RUN THE OTHER WAY!

Proverbs 23:27
"For a whore is a deep ditch; and a strange woman is a narrow pit."

#9 - Honesty is always the best policy! If you are having trouble with something that your spouse said or did, tell them. The Bible teaches us to speak the truth in a loving way. That means, we should avoid bringing anger, resentment and hostility into our relationship. A good marriage has an open line of communication that isn't afraid of confrontation.

Proverbs 27:5
"Open rebuke is better than secret love."

#10 - Everyone loves gifts! Even your husband. Don't give him gifts because he deserves it or just because it is a special occasion. Give him gifts because you are working toward having a great marriage and you want to show him how much you love him. With men, gift giving can be really easy. Think sporting equipment... to a nice romantic dinner followed by a couples bubble bath! Yes, YOU can even BE THE PACKAGE! Keep your marriage alive by surprising your spouse with gifts throughout the year.

Proverbs 17:8
"A gift is as a precious stone in the eyes of him that hath it: whithersoever it turneth, it prospereth."

To read the Mother in Zion Series - # 1... CLICK HERE

http://www.deborahrossministries.org/