PRACTICAL & BIBLICAL ADVICE FOR A HEALTHY MARRIAGE by Deborah Ross
Today's study is based on various Proverbs from God's Word.
After an overwhelming response from the Mother in Zion Series #1, I am eager to share more nuggets of truth that will help wives - both young and old - to cultivate a healthy marriage that will last a lifetime. I believe that Satan's number one target is the family. It is only by being INTENTIONAL about our marriage that we can ever expect to truly weather the storms of life.
Below are 10 points to ponder...
#1 - Money isn't everything! While we all need money to survive - and I certainly do believe that God wants to bless us financially - still, as wives, we should never allow our primary focus to be on our financial status. Too often, I'll see women getting caught up in worldly desires of wanting more, charging more, expecting more... all the while being satisfied - LESS! Remember, even though it IS God's desire to bless you and your family financially, you should never allow money to dictate your happiness. In fact, some of life's most precious moments will actually stem from times of financial hardship in your marriage. When you said, "For richer, for poorer", those words were meant to be a promise kept forever - no matter how difficult the circumstance. Arguments over money have destroyed way too many homes. Don't let it destroy yours!
Proverbs 15:16
"Better is little with the fear of the LORD than great treasure and trouble therewith."
"Better is little with the fear of the LORD than great treasure and trouble therewith."
#2 - Study your husband! A godly wife has studied her husband's likes and dislikes. She knows how to please him. Remember, Satan is sure to have someone "else" studying your husband at various points throughout your married life. I would not want anyone to know more about my husband's thoughts, desires, habits, likes or dislikes than ME and the only way to be sure of this is to "study" my own husband. Do you know YOUR HUSBAND'S deepest desires?
Proverbs 15:28
"The heart of the righteous studieth to answer: but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things."
#3 - Boob jobs, tummy tucks, face lifts, body sculpting, body piercings, tattoos, make-up, high heels, low cut blouses, micro-mini skirts and so on should not be necessary for your husband to find you attractive. While I don't believe the Lord is against women looking their best, I am certain He would not have us consumed with adjusting our physical appearance in unhealthy or seductive ways. The Word of God is very clear that our inner beauty is much more important than our outward looks. Of course, the "world" says to: lift it, tuck it, change it, flaunt it and shake it. But, God says that true beauty is elegant, graceful, pure, holy and modest. If you are feeling the need to compete with pornographic pictures, television and magazine commercials or even worldly girlfriends who don't know Christ in order to keep your husband's attention, there is something seriously wrong with either your marriage or your self-esteem. Make grooming your inner self (being transformed by God's Word) a top priority. Of course, you should not neglect to keep your outward appearance pretty and well-maintained with good hygiene. But remember, in looking your best for your husband you should NEVER allow the latest "beauty trend" to lure you into compromising your dignity, your health, or your testimony.
Proverbs 11:22
"As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion."
#4 - I asked my husband what he would like to contribute to this article and his response was...
"Tell them, DON'T NAG. Men hate it!"
Are you a nagging wife? If you are, I pray that you will ask God to help you bridle your tongue, IMMEDIATELY! One of the quickest ways to kill a marriage is to be a continuous nag toward your husband. Once he officially TURNS YOU OFF, you will really wonder "why" he never responds to your requests.
Proverbs 21:19
"It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman."
#5 - Ladies, pouting doesn't solve anything. I know, we all like to play charades once in a while, especially when our feelings get hurt. Your man may be clueless about "why" you are upset. He may truly want to make things better, but just doesn't know where to start. This DOES NOT mean that he doesn't care. This simply means that he didn't notice what he did (or, did not do) to offend you. It is always better to discuss your insecurities and offences BEFORE you stew over them. Remember, your husband usually just wants to have fun and be loved. He is a man... and men don't think with their emotions in the same way that women do. So, stop the pouting. It only leads to an argument.
"The heart of the righteous studieth to answer: but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things."
#3 - Boob jobs, tummy tucks, face lifts, body sculpting, body piercings, tattoos, make-up, high heels, low cut blouses, micro-mini skirts and so on should not be necessary for your husband to find you attractive. While I don't believe the Lord is against women looking their best, I am certain He would not have us consumed with adjusting our physical appearance in unhealthy or seductive ways. The Word of God is very clear that our inner beauty is much more important than our outward looks. Of course, the "world" says to: lift it, tuck it, change it, flaunt it and shake it. But, God says that true beauty is elegant, graceful, pure, holy and modest. If you are feeling the need to compete with pornographic pictures, television and magazine commercials or even worldly girlfriends who don't know Christ in order to keep your husband's attention, there is something seriously wrong with either your marriage or your self-esteem. Make grooming your inner self (being transformed by God's Word) a top priority. Of course, you should not neglect to keep your outward appearance pretty and well-maintained with good hygiene. But remember, in looking your best for your husband you should NEVER allow the latest "beauty trend" to lure you into compromising your dignity, your health, or your testimony.
Proverbs 11:22
"As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion."
#4 - I asked my husband what he would like to contribute to this article and his response was...
"Tell them, DON'T NAG. Men hate it!"
Are you a nagging wife? If you are, I pray that you will ask God to help you bridle your tongue, IMMEDIATELY! One of the quickest ways to kill a marriage is to be a continuous nag toward your husband. Once he officially TURNS YOU OFF, you will really wonder "why" he never responds to your requests.
Proverbs 21:19
"It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman."
#5 - Ladies, pouting doesn't solve anything. I know, we all like to play charades once in a while, especially when our feelings get hurt. Your man may be clueless about "why" you are upset. He may truly want to make things better, but just doesn't know where to start. This DOES NOT mean that he doesn't care. This simply means that he didn't notice what he did (or, did not do) to offend you. It is always better to discuss your insecurities and offences BEFORE you stew over them. Remember, your husband usually just wants to have fun and be loved. He is a man... and men don't think with their emotions in the same way that women do. So, stop the pouting. It only leads to an argument.
Proverbs 15:17
"Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith."
"Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith."
#6 - Are you in the habit of drinking alcohol or abusing prescription or non-prescription drugs? One sure way to kill a marriage is to drown it, numb it, or escape from it! I wonder just how many homes have been destroyed because of alcohol or drug abuse? You know the routine: a few drinks... next, suspicions and distorted judgements that lead to arguing... then, you call each other hurtful names... eventually, you might even wind up hitting one another. Don't say, "That won't ever happen to us. We can control ourselves. Besides, we only drink (or take these drugs) - sometimes." My friend, I pray that you won't play with fire any longer! The Bible says that we should be drunk with the Holy Ghost and not drunk with wine. The devil always has a counterfeit for everything that God does, and drinking alcohol is Satan's fake "high". He knows there is a real "high" that can only be found in being a born-again, spirit-filled, Child of the King and he doesn't want you to live in that realm. Drinking and taking drugs to relax is bad for your testimony, a careless example toward your children, and it is damaging to your marriage. The best advice is... Don't do it!
Proverbs 23:31-33
"Look not thou upon the wine when it is red, when it giveth his colour in the cup, when it moveth itself aright. At the last it biteth like a serpent, and stingeth like an adder. Thine eyes shall behold strange women, and thine heart shall utter perverse things."
"Look not thou upon the wine when it is red, when it giveth his colour in the cup, when it moveth itself aright. At the last it biteth like a serpent, and stingeth like an adder. Thine eyes shall behold strange women, and thine heart shall utter perverse things."
#7 - Living on credit is a trick of the devil. While the world tells us that credit is the American way, the Lord says that we should live by faith and pay as we go. Granted, buying a house or maybe even buying a car can require one to rely on using credit in the US. Even so, Americans - as a whole - are buried in loans from credit card companies and banks because of over-spending. There are three main things that couples most often argue about: money, sex, and the children. Don't allow Satan to wedge his way into your marriage by biting into the alluring apple of debt. My husband and I have learned the hard way that there are many things we can live without. We have learned to be happy whether we have a pocket full of money and even if we're flat broke. Strengthen your marriage. Live by faith AND not on credit!
Proverbs 28:22
"He that hasteth to be rich hath an evil eye, and considereth not that poverty shall come upon him."
"He that hasteth to be rich hath an evil eye, and considereth not that poverty shall come upon him."
#8 - Adultery is not an option for anyone who is married... no matter how unhappy you think you are! Media has made the word "adultery" to be a watered down, digestible term referred to as an "affair". There is nothing about adultery that is watered down - nor digestible. God abhors it! Not only will adultery defile your marriage but it also mars the children, hurts relatives, confuses the church, and poisons YOU! Nothing good ever comes out of extra-marital relationships. Don't let your guard down. Flirty gestures and lewd comments can be lethal to your marriage. Adultery is the most painful of all sins in a marriage and, in most cases, it is unrepairable. The voices that you are hearing in your head about how much better your life would be with this other person - verses your spouse -ARE NOT FROM GOD.
TAKE THOSE THOUGHTS CAPTIVE... RUN THE OTHER WAY!
Proverbs 23:27
"For a whore is a deep ditch; and a strange woman is a narrow pit."
"For a whore is a deep ditch; and a strange woman is a narrow pit."
#9 - Honesty is always the best policy! If you are having trouble with something that your spouse said or did, tell them. The Bible teaches us to speak the truth in a loving way. That means, we should avoid bringing anger, resentment and hostility into our relationship. A good marriage has an open line of communication that isn't afraid of confrontation.
Proverbs 27:5
"Open rebuke is better than secret love."
To read the Mother in Zion Series - # 1... CLICK HERE
http://www.deborahrossministries.org/
"Open rebuke is better than secret love."
#10 - Everyone loves gifts! Even your husband. Don't give him gifts because he deserves it or just because it is a special occasion. Give him gifts because you are working toward having a great marriage and you want to show him how much you love him. With men, gift giving can be really easy. Think sporting equipment... to a nice romantic dinner followed by a couples bubble bath! Yes, YOU can even BE THE PACKAGE! Keep your marriage alive by surprising your spouse with gifts throughout the year.
Proverbs 17:8
"A gift is as a precious stone in the eyes of him that hath it: whithersoever it turneth, it prospereth."
"A gift is as a precious stone in the eyes of him that hath it: whithersoever it turneth, it prospereth."
To read the Mother in Zion Series - # 1... CLICK HERE
http://www.deborahrossministries.org/
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