Save it! Marriage Bible Studies with Deborah Ross

BIBLE STUDY CLASSES
and/or
CONFERENCES   

Save Your Marriage... Save Your Family! Everyone's marriage could use a tune-up. This study is a faith builder for those in good marriages and it is a life-line for those in bad ones. Participants learn how to defeat the power's of darkness so that their marriage doesn't just survive, but THRIVES... until death do they part. Topics like: Settle it in Your Heart; Forgiveness is a Commandment; What Men Need; What Women Need; Being Intentional About Your Marriage; Cold Love / No Love; Intimacy; Agape Love / Excel Them All; Root Digger (Pulling Down Strongholds & Breaking Generational Curses); Family Wholeness and much, much more. Deborah's book, Healing a Broken Marriage, serves as the reading material and at-home study guide for this class. Open to men and women - married, engaged, separated, and even those divorced who are praying for reconciliation. Based off of 1 Corinthians 13 - "Love Never Fails."  

There are 2 ways to take this study:  1)  Invite Jay and Deborah Ross to your church.  2)  Get Deborah's personal teaching notes and lead your own group.

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Mini Lesson for Today:

His Needs / Her Needs. 

In this lesson we learn that in a marriage the number one thing men crave most is RESPECT while the number one thing women desire most is SECURITY.  Are you giving your spouse what they need most?

The man's role is that of head of the household.  He should be the primary bread winner of the home - providing he is in good health. The primary role of the woman is to nurture the souls of the children and her husband while maintaining a peaceful, loving home environment for the family to come together in worship of the Lord. When we get our homes in Biblical order according to 1 Corinthians 11:3  (God - Jesus - Man - Woman, with the children coming under the man and woman leading in unison under Christ Jesus), we lay a solid foundation on which the Lord will supernaturally bless our families in great measure.  There is nothing wrong with the woman working to help support the family (if needed) as long as she puts her family first in all things.  This may mean that a professional corporate career needs to be put on hold until after the children are raised. 

In addition, husband and wife should practice submitting one to another in all things (Ephesians 5:21).  In doing so, each spouse seeks to please the other and arguments are put to a halt.  When conflict does arise, it is important to remember that winning is not important.  Listening to one another and then reaching a mutual agreement is always the goal.  If, after each person has voiced their opinions, it is still not possible to reach an agreement, women need to keep their perspective as being their husband's help mate (Genesis 2:18).  God will bless our families as our men rise to godly leadership.  Even when bad decisions are made, we can trust God to bring us through certain consequences with ultimate victory as we seek to establish our homes according to Biblcal principles.

It has been said that money, sex, and children are the number one arguments that lead to divorce. In order to solve money problems in marriage, both man and wife need to learn the importance of completely trusting God with their finances. He is a good God and He gives good gifts to His children. In fact, He even says that we can TEST HIM when it comes to tithing! Try Him and see if your 90% doesn't go a lot further as the Lord keeps the devil and his demons from stealing your finances that are available after tithing your reasonable service of 10% of all your income back to the Lord.   

It is so important that Christian's tithe and give offerings because God richly blesses those who do. It is a supernatural principle! Our money represents our life (our time) and God knows that our obedience to tithing is a true reflection of our FAITH in Him as not only Savior, but also as Lord, Master, Provider, etc.

When we hold our fists tightly closed and refuse to trust God with our money, we are really saying, "I am in control of my life. I don't trust in supernatural principles. I really don't trust that God will take care of my needs and my wants in this life. It doesn't make sense to me to tithe 10% when I am already having trouble in paying my bills, so God will have to help me get ahead, first, then I will tithe 10%"... Sorry friends, but it doesn't work that way in the Kingdom of God.

Then, if you ever get to a place in life where things are not making sense in your finances (yet, you are a tither) - like the loss of a job, or a lack of money - perhaps it is time for a promotion from God! Keep on tithing because you are probably experiencing a TEST from God and when all is said and done, you want to be found faithful in your obedience. Don't give the enemy any ammunition to use against you when it comes to your money. Trust God!!!

Lastly, it is important that you realize the following principles when it comes to money and God. Tithing is 10% of your income that should be given to your local church or the place where you are being fed the Word of God and experiencing fellowship. Offerings are different. Offerings are monies, time, talents and resources given above and beyond your tithe. Offerings can and should be given freely to anyone or any ministry whom the Holy Spirit lays upon your heart to give to. Keep in mind that God's superabundant favor (in the financial realm) will rest in your obedience to the Holy Spirit in giving offerings.

You see, you just cannot outgive God! He is the supplier of all of your needs... and wants. He owns it all. He will make sure that His children are well taken care of as they practice being GIVERS. So solve the marital hardship of financial woes by allowing God to completely take control of your finances. Be a tither... and a giver! Be like God. After all, He gave His very own Son.

Malachi 3:8-12

"Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings. Ye are cursed with a curse: for ye have robbed me, even this whole nation. Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it. And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, and he shall not destroy the fruits of your ground; neither shall your vine cast her fruit before the time in the field, saith the LORD of hosts. And all nations shall call you blessed: for ye shall be a delightsome land, saith the LORD of hosts.

Luke 6:38

"Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again."

Proverbs 11:24 

"There is that scattereth, and yet increaseth; and there is that withholdeth more than is meet, but it tendeth to poverty."

Throughout this study I pray that the Lord will speak to hearts so that each marriage will be strengthened for life-long victory in all things.   

1)  BOOKINGS - Click to book Deborah Ross & Jay Ross for a marriage study or conference at your church.

2)  DEBORAH'S PERSONAL TEACHING MATERIALS - Click to find out how to get FREE materials ($100.00 value). 

3)  Or, you may order these materials directly at CLICK HERE

COURAGEOUS - The Movie

Joshua 1:7   
    

Only be thou strong and very courageous, that thou mayest observe to do according to all the law, which Moses my servant commanded thee: turn not from it to the right hand or to the left, that thou mayest prosper withersoever thou goest.   

If you have not been to see this movie, PLEASE BE SURE TO TAKE THE ENTIRE FAMILY right away!  This is one of the best.  It will make you cry and laugh; but most of all, it will touch your heart.  Below is the famous Resolution for all dads from the movie Courageous.


THE RESOLUTION

• I DO solemnly resolve before God to take full responsibility for myself, my wife, and my children.
• I WILL love them, protect them, serve them, and teach them the Word of God as the spiritual leader of my home.
• I WILL be faithful to my wife, to love and honor her, and be willing to lay down my life for her as Jesus Christ did for me.
• I WILL bless my children and teach them to love God with all of their hearts, all of their minds, and all of their strength.
• I WILL train them to honor authority and live responsibly.
• I WILL confront evil, pursue justice, and love mercy.
• I WILL pray for others and treat them with kindness, respect, and compassion.
• I WILL work diligently to provide for the needs of my family.
• I WILL forgive those who have wronged me and reconcile with those I have wronged.
• I WILL learn from my mistakes, repent of my sins, and walk with integrity as a man answerable to God.
• I WILL seek to honor God, be faithful to His church, obey His Word, and do His will.
• I WILL courageously work with the strength God provides to fulfill this resolution for the rest of my life and for His glory.

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. – Joshua 24:15

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***This movie is produced by the same people who made Facing the Giants and Fireproof. 

Biblical Order of the Home

BALANCING CHILDREN, WORK, AND INTIMACY

God has established order to everything... He is the God of order!  When studying scripture as a marriage life-book of "how to", it is easy to see that God has a divine command we must all heed if we want our marriage to endure: the tests of time; the on slot of offense; and the pull of worldly influence.  Satan comes to kill, steal, and destroy (John 10:10).  He hates families and will stop at nothing by instigating terms for division, strife, and even divorce - in every home - as he slithers his way into situations, circumstances, attitudes, and presuming lifestyles between a man and his wife.  So don't be surprised when the gates of hell turn up the heat in your household.  There is nothing new under the sun.

On the other hand, married couples can expect to overcome all of life's twists and turns - so that their passion never runs cold - when they commit to making their relationship with each other of highest priority (under Christ).  Contrary to the assumption of most unsuspecting married couples, staying true to the marriage vow, "until death do us part", doesn't just happen.  It takes work... continuous work...intentional work!  But, keeping a marriage alive is not a begrudging chore.  Instead, it is a fulfilling journey of growing closer and closer as, together, you work to serve one another! 

Speaking of order, 1 Corinthians 11:3 says that the order of the family should be as follows: God, Christ, Man, Woman.  As much as women hate to admit it, our role in the marriage is to be a helper to our husbands (Genesis 2:18).  The man is to be the head of the household, under Christ, and has the burden of carrying the weight of the home on his shoulders.  Even the natural strength of a man over the femininity of a woman paints the picture of God's design for establishing order in the home (see: 1 Peter 3:7).  Does this mean that women aren't supposed to work?  Not necessarily.  It does mean, however, that the predominate role of a woman in marriage should be that of an encourager to her husband and a nurturer to her children; while the prevailing role of the man should be that of a provider and spiritual leader.

WORK

When it comes to work, men and women, alike, all-too-often get caught in a work-a-holic syndrome.  The obligations of keeping the bills paid, the lure of a success driven society, and the sin of wanting too many "things" can all lead to burn-out in marriage.  God intended for us to have balanced lives and while work is essential, it should never be elevated above the family.  After all, you work to make a fruitful life for your family.  What benefit is "the good life" if, in the end, the family unit is shattered - all because of the obsessive cycle of making more, spending more, and expecting more?  The best way to evaluate your allegiance to your career is through the filter of the following order of importance:  #1 - God;  #2 - Family; #3 - Business.  If your work priorities tend to slip from this formula, it's imperative (for the sake of your marriage) that you reevaluate your motives and restructure your lifestyle - immediately!

INTIMACY

Another mistake I often see young mothers making is that of becoming preoccupied with their everyday duties of nurturing, cooking, shopping, and cleaning, while presuming that their husband will "understand" her constant neglect of affection - especially in the bedroom.  I know how it is, by the end of the day a mother is zapped and "one more thing to do" when her head hits the pillow at night can become the dreaded love making task instead of a joyful finale of intimate communion with her man.  There is great danger in allowing affection with your spouse to wane.  Again, the most important part of your duties as a husband/wife and dad/mom (besides your complete devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ) is that of putting your marriage above all else.  Romance, sex, and even date nights MUST be a part of your "schedule" in order to avoid the subtle drift of growing apart.  Men, that means putting the remote down, turning the computer off, and making an effort towards being creative in how to spend quality time with your wife, as well.  Each partner has an obligation to meet the need of the other when it comes to keeping the flames of passion burning brightly throughout the course of a life-time in marriage. 

CHILDREN

In a thriving, Christ-centered marriage, your relationship with your spouse should always come before your relationship with your children!  While this may seem like a no brainer, it is actually a big problem with families today.  Does this mean that the children are not important?  Not at all.  It simply means that marriage is - first, and foremost -  about the husband and wife honoring one another, as two souls remain one flesh under the banner of Christ Jesus.  Children can be very demanding and, while we should aim to be great parents, we should never let our marriage suffer from the pressures of parenting.

In today's American, fast-paced culture, I am seeing more and more parents putting a significant amount of time into the extracurricular activities of their children and the pursuit of keeping up with society.  While this may seem like a wonderful thing to do on the surface, an unbalanced approach to activities outside of the home early on, can lead to serious marital problems - later on.  After all, what good will all of these endeavors be if after years of running here, there and everywhere, you end up with a broken home - all because you neglected to prioritize your life in such a way that gives glory to God.  Psalm 46:10 says to "be still and know that He is God."  Carve out time each day to "be still" with your family as you worship God together with the sweet aroma of a balanced lifestyle. 

Furthermore, Ephesians 6:1 and Colossians 3:20 says that "children should obey their parents in the Lord."  From here, we can see that God's divine order for the home is for the children to come up under the parents (not just the mom and not just the dad, but both parents - functioning in agreement with one another).  Many well meaning mothers tend to elevate their children to a position of priority over their husbands.  NEVER allow your children to come between you and your spouse. Remember, a healthy marriage ultimately makes the children happy because their confidence will be increased when they live in peace knowing that mom and dad love each other, have respect for one another, and express appropriate affection toward the other. As you and your spouse show forth a selfless, unconditional love that gives high priority to times of privacy, hand holding, hugging, laughter, and honor for one another, your children are learning what a healthy marriage looks like and will likely aim to have a balanced marriage of their own one day, as they learn life application skills from you.  This is the essence of what it truly means to train up a child in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6).     

In closing, I remind you of the following points about "how to" enrich your marriage so that your love for one another never grows cold:

·        God has an order to everything. 

·        Marriage takes work. 

·        You must be intentional about making your marriage all that God has planned.    

·        The devil is working hard to strategize the demise of your wedding vows.

·        You must be adamant about APPLYING the Word of the Lord to every area of your marriage on a daily basis. 

Don't be duped by the devil.  Life is about choices and making the right decisions each and every day will add up to the sum total of the destiny of your family (see: Deuteronomy 30:19).  Remember, over half of ALL MARRIAGES (the church is no exception) end up divorced.  Shield your marriage from destruction by getting your life in order, NOW!

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Deborah Ross is a Bible teacher, speaker, singer, author, and choreographer.  Her new book titled, Healing a Broken Marriage: LoveNever Fails, is a great resource for more on "how to" have a healthy, God-centered marriage.  Deborah has been married to her husband, Jay, since 1984.  Together, they have two teenage sons.  Deborah's passion is to know God and her calling is to share His love with the world.  To find out more about her ministry go to www.DeborahRossMinistries.org