COURAGEOUS - The Movie

Joshua 1:7   
    

Only be thou strong and very courageous, that thou mayest observe to do according to all the law, which Moses my servant commanded thee: turn not from it to the right hand or to the left, that thou mayest prosper withersoever thou goest.   

If you have not been to see this movie, PLEASE BE SURE TO TAKE THE ENTIRE FAMILY right away!  This is one of the best.  It will make you cry and laugh; but most of all, it will touch your heart.  Below is the famous Resolution for all dads from the movie Courageous.


THE RESOLUTION

• I DO solemnly resolve before God to take full responsibility for myself, my wife, and my children.
• I WILL love them, protect them, serve them, and teach them the Word of God as the spiritual leader of my home.
• I WILL be faithful to my wife, to love and honor her, and be willing to lay down my life for her as Jesus Christ did for me.
• I WILL bless my children and teach them to love God with all of their hearts, all of their minds, and all of their strength.
• I WILL train them to honor authority and live responsibly.
• I WILL confront evil, pursue justice, and love mercy.
• I WILL pray for others and treat them with kindness, respect, and compassion.
• I WILL work diligently to provide for the needs of my family.
• I WILL forgive those who have wronged me and reconcile with those I have wronged.
• I WILL learn from my mistakes, repent of my sins, and walk with integrity as a man answerable to God.
• I WILL seek to honor God, be faithful to His church, obey His Word, and do His will.
• I WILL courageously work with the strength God provides to fulfill this resolution for the rest of my life and for His glory.

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. – Joshua 24:15

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***This movie is produced by the same people who made Facing the Giants and Fireproof. 

Marriage - Are You Doing the Word?

James 1:19 KJV

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man (or woman) be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man (or woman) worketh not the righteousness of God.

- emphasis added -

My grandmother always taught me to "kill'em with kindness."  She always said it would be difficult  for someone to be ugly to you if you continued to treat them with respect and dignity.  As hard as her lesson was for me to understand as a child, today, I can clearly see how her teachings were Biblical principles that God would one day reveal to me as truth.  These words were buried deep within my soul as a child, and, no doubt, have helped me to withstand some difficult situations in my own marriage while I patiently waited for my breakthrough to finally arrive.

I think the book of James is a good starting place for us to study in seeking how we can learn to silence arguments and put an end to dysfunction in our homes.  James says that we are to be "swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath."  Until we recognize that change begins within US, we will forever be trying to "fix" everyone else  - in particular, our spouse.  We will never rest in the promises of our Lord for complete victory in our marriage, until we settle it in our heart that "we cannot change our spouse!"  So, let us take instruction from James that our breakthrough will manifest only if we do our part.  We must learn to control OUR MOUTH by praying, "Lord help me to listen more and talk less, so that You can work in my marriage."

In addition, James 1:22 says that we should be "doers of the word, and not hearers only."  Now, being a doer of the word does not mean that we make others...  "do the word."  On the contrary, it means that we make ourselves come into agreement with the word of the Lord even while in adverse circumstances.  Marriage is not always easy (especially if one spouse is lost).  Even so, as Christians, we are to do our part by being obedient to the things of God - even while it is not convenient.  If it were easy to be a "doer of the word", then being a "doer" would not require faith.  But, we are people of faith and we need to understand that our faith grows as we exercise it.  So don't be afraid to exercise your faith when it comes to being a doer of the word in your marriage.

There is one themed rebuttal that is always spoken to me by someone hurting in marriage:  "But you don't know what they did to me" or "You don't understand what I have to put up with."  When these valid comments come across my ministry, I gently take these broken souls back to God's word which speaks of self control, controlling our tongue, praying, and trusting Him.  Granted, one spouse in the marriage may be like a wild bull running through a china store.  Still, that doesn't justify the other spouse to be moved, shaken, or provoked to sin against God.  In the midst of a marital storm, we must remember that God is on the throne and He loves our marriage.  He is on our side and will fight our battles for us if we will just tame ourselves and lay our marriage on the altar for Him to work a miracle.  Malachi 2:16 says, God hates divorce, so our job as a married Christian is to work toward avoiding divorce... even through the fiercest storm. 

The devil is forever tempting God's children.  He knows that if he can just get a Christian to be drawn away of his own lust and enticed to sin then he can kill them.  His greatest thrill is to see sin conceived in a child of God because it is sure to bring forth death in certain areas of their life.  For instance, if the devil can get us to enter into arguing with our spouse, he has a better chance at getting us to believe that we are justified in hating them.  Then once we are convinced that we don't need our spouse anymore (because we just can't get along), we are now in a position to believe that divorce is OK in our situation.  Divorce is the calculated death that the devil is ultimately seeking to arrange in the lives of every married couple.  But the devil doesn't stop there.  The enemy of our soul will go much further than the initial divorce.  Most often, divorce  causes bitterness to fester.  Bitterness leads to wrath... and wrath leads to revenge.  Now does anger, bitterness, wrath, and revenge sound like characteristics of one claiming to be a Child of God?  (See James 1:3-15)

So in conclusion, James 1 says that our religion is vain if we don't learn to bridle our tongue.  Remember the trying of our faith (especially in marriage) teaches us to have patience.  And, the patience produced in us will make us perfect in the end.  This means that our faith will be purified in our trials, making us ready to receive the reward that God has waiting for those who believe Him and act according to His word even throughout adverse circumstances. 

Hebrews 11:6

But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

If you haven't already read my story, I'd like to encourage you to pick up a copy of my book, Healing a Broken Marriage, today.  I have experienced, first hand, how God's word will come to pass in seemingly hopeless marital conditions of my own.  Today, my marriage is healed and thriving because the Lord is faithful and His word is true!  My book is a step by step faith walk of praying for my husband for twelve years as heartache after heartache pointed toward divorce.  Glory to God, the devil didn't win the battle and now I live to tell others how they, too, can claim victory in their home.  My book teaches practical and spiritual lessons that must be mixed together to bring results.   

The Lord doesn't want any to perish.  He wants all to come to salvation.  As the spouse who professes to know God (I say this because you are reading this article), I exhort you to stand strong and see the salvation of the Lord for your loved one.  Believe God against all odds.  And, very important, mix all of your faith with God- centered actions that will create fertile soil for your miracle.  When you line yourself up with Kingdom principles in your "doing", you can expect results from a God who loves you, loves your marriage, and loves your children.

So take the narrow road, tame your tongue, harness your emotions, exercise your faith, and trust God in all things.  He loves you!

 Job 6:24 KJV
Teach me, and I will hold my tongue: and cause me to understand wherein I have erred.

Biblical Order of the Home

BALANCING CHILDREN, WORK, AND INTIMACY

God has established order to everything... He is the God of order!  When studying scripture as a marriage life-book of "how to", it is easy to see that God has a divine command we must all heed if we want our marriage to endure: the tests of time; the on slot of offense; and the pull of worldly influence.  Satan comes to kill, steal, and destroy (John 10:10).  He hates families and will stop at nothing by instigating terms for division, strife, and even divorce - in every home - as he slithers his way into situations, circumstances, attitudes, and presuming lifestyles between a man and his wife.  So don't be surprised when the gates of hell turn up the heat in your household.  There is nothing new under the sun.

On the other hand, married couples can expect to overcome all of life's twists and turns - so that their passion never runs cold - when they commit to making their relationship with each other of highest priority (under Christ).  Contrary to the assumption of most unsuspecting married couples, staying true to the marriage vow, "until death do us part", doesn't just happen.  It takes work... continuous work...intentional work!  But, keeping a marriage alive is not a begrudging chore.  Instead, it is a fulfilling journey of growing closer and closer as, together, you work to serve one another! 

Speaking of order, 1 Corinthians 11:3 says that the order of the family should be as follows: God, Christ, Man, Woman.  As much as women hate to admit it, our role in the marriage is to be a helper to our husbands (Genesis 2:18).  The man is to be the head of the household, under Christ, and has the burden of carrying the weight of the home on his shoulders.  Even the natural strength of a man over the femininity of a woman paints the picture of God's design for establishing order in the home (see: 1 Peter 3:7).  Does this mean that women aren't supposed to work?  Not necessarily.  It does mean, however, that the predominate role of a woman in marriage should be that of an encourager to her husband and a nurturer to her children; while the prevailing role of the man should be that of a provider and spiritual leader.

WORK

When it comes to work, men and women, alike, all-too-often get caught in a work-a-holic syndrome.  The obligations of keeping the bills paid, the lure of a success driven society, and the sin of wanting too many "things" can all lead to burn-out in marriage.  God intended for us to have balanced lives and while work is essential, it should never be elevated above the family.  After all, you work to make a fruitful life for your family.  What benefit is "the good life" if, in the end, the family unit is shattered - all because of the obsessive cycle of making more, spending more, and expecting more?  The best way to evaluate your allegiance to your career is through the filter of the following order of importance:  #1 - God;  #2 - Family; #3 - Business.  If your work priorities tend to slip from this formula, it's imperative (for the sake of your marriage) that you reevaluate your motives and restructure your lifestyle - immediately!

INTIMACY

Another mistake I often see young mothers making is that of becoming preoccupied with their everyday duties of nurturing, cooking, shopping, and cleaning, while presuming that their husband will "understand" her constant neglect of affection - especially in the bedroom.  I know how it is, by the end of the day a mother is zapped and "one more thing to do" when her head hits the pillow at night can become the dreaded love making task instead of a joyful finale of intimate communion with her man.  There is great danger in allowing affection with your spouse to wane.  Again, the most important part of your duties as a husband/wife and dad/mom (besides your complete devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ) is that of putting your marriage above all else.  Romance, sex, and even date nights MUST be a part of your "schedule" in order to avoid the subtle drift of growing apart.  Men, that means putting the remote down, turning the computer off, and making an effort towards being creative in how to spend quality time with your wife, as well.  Each partner has an obligation to meet the need of the other when it comes to keeping the flames of passion burning brightly throughout the course of a life-time in marriage. 

CHILDREN

In a thriving, Christ-centered marriage, your relationship with your spouse should always come before your relationship with your children!  While this may seem like a no brainer, it is actually a big problem with families today.  Does this mean that the children are not important?  Not at all.  It simply means that marriage is - first, and foremost -  about the husband and wife honoring one another, as two souls remain one flesh under the banner of Christ Jesus.  Children can be very demanding and, while we should aim to be great parents, we should never let our marriage suffer from the pressures of parenting.

In today's American, fast-paced culture, I am seeing more and more parents putting a significant amount of time into the extracurricular activities of their children and the pursuit of keeping up with society.  While this may seem like a wonderful thing to do on the surface, an unbalanced approach to activities outside of the home early on, can lead to serious marital problems - later on.  After all, what good will all of these endeavors be if after years of running here, there and everywhere, you end up with a broken home - all because you neglected to prioritize your life in such a way that gives glory to God.  Psalm 46:10 says to "be still and know that He is God."  Carve out time each day to "be still" with your family as you worship God together with the sweet aroma of a balanced lifestyle. 

Furthermore, Ephesians 6:1 and Colossians 3:20 says that "children should obey their parents in the Lord."  From here, we can see that God's divine order for the home is for the children to come up under the parents (not just the mom and not just the dad, but both parents - functioning in agreement with one another).  Many well meaning mothers tend to elevate their children to a position of priority over their husbands.  NEVER allow your children to come between you and your spouse. Remember, a healthy marriage ultimately makes the children happy because their confidence will be increased when they live in peace knowing that mom and dad love each other, have respect for one another, and express appropriate affection toward the other. As you and your spouse show forth a selfless, unconditional love that gives high priority to times of privacy, hand holding, hugging, laughter, and honor for one another, your children are learning what a healthy marriage looks like and will likely aim to have a balanced marriage of their own one day, as they learn life application skills from you.  This is the essence of what it truly means to train up a child in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6).     

In closing, I remind you of the following points about "how to" enrich your marriage so that your love for one another never grows cold:

·        God has an order to everything. 

·        Marriage takes work. 

·        You must be intentional about making your marriage all that God has planned.    

·        The devil is working hard to strategize the demise of your wedding vows.

·        You must be adamant about APPLYING the Word of the Lord to every area of your marriage on a daily basis. 

Don't be duped by the devil.  Life is about choices and making the right decisions each and every day will add up to the sum total of the destiny of your family (see: Deuteronomy 30:19).  Remember, over half of ALL MARRIAGES (the church is no exception) end up divorced.  Shield your marriage from destruction by getting your life in order, NOW!

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Deborah Ross is a Bible teacher, speaker, singer, author, and choreographer.  Her new book titled, Healing a Broken Marriage: LoveNever Fails, is a great resource for more on "how to" have a healthy, God-centered marriage.  Deborah has been married to her husband, Jay, since 1984.  Together, they have two teenage sons.  Deborah's passion is to know God and her calling is to share His love with the world.  To find out more about her ministry go to www.DeborahRossMinistries.org   

Mother in Zion Series - # 2

PRACTICAL & BIBLICAL ADVICE FOR A HEALTHY MARRIAGE by Deborah Ross

Today's study is based on various Proverbs from God's Word.

After an overwhelming response from the Mother in Zion Series #1, I am eager to share more nuggets of truth that will help wives - both young and old - to cultivate a healthy marriage that will last a lifetime. I believe that Satan's number one target is the family. It is only by being INTENTIONAL about our marriage that we can ever expect to truly weather the storms of life.

Below are 10 points to ponder...

#1 - Money isn't everything! While we all need money to survive - and I certainly do believe that God wants to bless us financially - still, as wives, we should never allow our primary focus to be on our financial status. Too often, I'll see women getting caught up in worldly desires of wanting more, charging more, expecting more... all the while being satisfied - LESS! Remember, even though it IS God's desire to bless you and your family financially, you should never allow money to dictate your happiness. In fact, some of life's most precious moments will actually stem from times of financial hardship in your marriage. When you said, "For richer, for poorer", those words were meant to be a promise kept forever - no matter how difficult the circumstance. Arguments over money have destroyed way too many homes. Don't let it destroy yours!

Proverbs 15:16
"Better is little with the fear of the LORD than great treasure and trouble therewith."

#2 - Study your husband! A godly wife has studied her husband's likes and dislikes. She knows how to please him. Remember, Satan is sure to have someone "else" studying your husband at various points throughout your married life. I would not want anyone to know more about my husband's thoughts, desires, habits, likes or dislikes than ME and the only way to be sure of this is to "study" my own husband. Do you know YOUR HUSBAND'S deepest desires?

Proverbs 15:28
"The heart of the righteous studieth to answer: but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things."

#3 - Boob jobs, tummy tucks, face lifts, body sculpting, body piercings, tattoos, make-up, high heels, low cut blouses, micro-mini skirts and so on should not be necessary for your husband to find you attractive. While I don't believe the Lord is against women looking their best, I am certain He would not have us consumed with adjusting our physical appearance in unhealthy or seductive ways. The Word of God is very clear that our inner beauty is much more important than our outward looks. Of course, the "world" says to: lift it, tuck it, change it, flaunt it and shake it. But, God says that true beauty is elegant, graceful, pure, holy and modest. If you are feeling the need to compete with pornographic pictures, television and magazine commercials or even worldly girlfriends who don't know Christ in order to keep your husband's attention, there is something seriously wrong with either your marriage or your self-esteem. Make grooming your inner self (being transformed by God's Word) a top priority. Of course, you should not neglect to keep your outward appearance pretty and well-maintained with good hygiene. But remember, in looking your best for your husband you should NEVER allow the latest "beauty trend" to lure you into compromising your dignity, your health, or your testimony.

Proverbs 11:22
"As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion."

#4 - I asked my husband what he would like to contribute to this article and his response was...

"Tell them, DON'T NAG. Men hate it!"

Are you a nagging wife? If you are, I pray that you will ask God to help you bridle your tongue, IMMEDIATELY! One of the quickest ways to kill a marriage is to be a continuous nag toward your husband. Once he officially TURNS YOU OFF, you will really wonder "why" he never responds to your requests.

Proverbs 21:19
"It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman."

#5 - Ladies, pouting doesn't solve anything. I know, we all like to play charades once in a while, especially when our feelings get hurt. Your man may be clueless about "why" you are upset. He may truly want to make things better, but just doesn't know where to start. This DOES NOT mean that he doesn't care. This simply means that he didn't notice what he did (or, did not do) to offend you. It is always better to discuss your insecurities and offences BEFORE you stew over them. Remember, your husband usually just wants to have fun and be loved. He is a man... and men don't think with their emotions in the same way that women do. So, stop the pouting. It only leads to an argument.

Proverbs 15:17
"Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith."

#6 - Are you in the habit of drinking alcohol or abusing prescription or non-prescription drugs? One sure way to kill a marriage is to drown it, numb it, or escape from it! I wonder just how many homes have been destroyed because of alcohol or drug abuse? You know the routine: a few drinks... next, suspicions and distorted judgements that lead to arguing... then, you call each other hurtful names... eventually, you might even wind up hitting one another. Don't say, "That won't ever happen to us. We can control ourselves. Besides, we only drink (or take these drugs) - sometimes." My friend, I pray that you won't play with fire any longer! The Bible says that we should be drunk with the Holy Ghost and not drunk with wine. The devil always has a counterfeit for everything that God does, and drinking alcohol is Satan's fake "high". He knows there is a real "high" that can only be found in being a born-again, spirit-filled, Child of the King and he doesn't want you to live in that realm. Drinking and taking drugs to relax is bad for your testimony, a careless example toward your children, and it is damaging to your marriage. The best advice is... Don't do it!

Proverbs 23:31-33
"Look not thou upon the wine when it is red, when it giveth his colour in the cup, when it moveth itself aright. At the last it biteth like a serpent, and stingeth like an adder. Thine eyes shall behold strange women, and thine heart shall utter perverse things."

#7 - Living on credit is a trick of the devil. While the world tells us that credit is the American way, the Lord says that we should live by faith and pay as we go. Granted, buying a house or maybe even buying a car can require one to rely on using credit in the US. Even so, Americans - as a whole - are buried in loans from credit card companies and banks because of over-spending. There are three main things that couples most often argue about: money, sex, and the children. Don't allow Satan to wedge his way into your marriage by biting into the alluring apple of debt. My husband and I have learned the hard way that there are many things we can live without. We have learned to be happy whether we have a pocket full of money and even if we're flat broke. Strengthen your marriage. Live by faith AND not on credit!

Proverbs 28:22
"He that hasteth to be rich hath an evil eye, and considereth not that poverty shall come upon him."

#8 - Adultery is not an option for anyone who is married... no matter how unhappy you think you are! Media has made the word "adultery" to be a watered down, digestible term referred to as an "affair". There is nothing about adultery that is watered down - nor digestible. God abhors it! Not only will adultery defile your marriage but it also mars the children, hurts relatives, confuses the church, and poisons YOU! Nothing good ever comes out of extra-marital relationships. Don't let your guard down. Flirty gestures and lewd comments can be lethal to your marriage. Adultery is the most painful of all sins in a marriage and, in most cases, it is unrepairable. The voices that you are hearing in your head about how much better your life would be with this other person - verses your spouse -ARE NOT FROM GOD.

TAKE THOSE THOUGHTS CAPTIVE... RUN THE OTHER WAY!

Proverbs 23:27
"For a whore is a deep ditch; and a strange woman is a narrow pit."

#9 - Honesty is always the best policy! If you are having trouble with something that your spouse said or did, tell them. The Bible teaches us to speak the truth in a loving way. That means, we should avoid bringing anger, resentment and hostility into our relationship. A good marriage has an open line of communication that isn't afraid of confrontation.

Proverbs 27:5
"Open rebuke is better than secret love."

#10 - Everyone loves gifts! Even your husband. Don't give him gifts because he deserves it or just because it is a special occasion. Give him gifts because you are working toward having a great marriage and you want to show him how much you love him. With men, gift giving can be really easy. Think sporting equipment... to a nice romantic dinner followed by a couples bubble bath! Yes, YOU can even BE THE PACKAGE! Keep your marriage alive by surprising your spouse with gifts throughout the year.

Proverbs 17:8
"A gift is as a precious stone in the eyes of him that hath it: whithersoever it turneth, it prospereth."

To read the Mother in Zion Series - # 1... CLICK HERE

http://www.deborahrossministries.org/

Mother in Zion Series - #1

PRACTICAL & BIBLICAL ADVICE FOR A HEALTHY MARRIAGE

The other day I was awakened by a phone call from a new wife and mom who was desperate for help in her marriage. As I began to minister to her, she made a comment to me that struck me as being a significant, yet, deficient need for wives all over the world. Her comment was,...

"No one has ever told me that before!"

That's when I realized the dire need for "spiritual mothers" - like myself - to share personal knowledge that, perhaps, was never offered by natural mothers; either because of their own personal failures, or, because of their lackadaisical approach to mother/daughter discussions. For this reason, I am offering this Mother in Zion Series which is dedicated to bullet point, practical tips that I pray will help wives - both young and old - to cultivate a healthy marriage that will truly make it until "death do us part."

Practical & Biblical Advice for a Healthy Marriage - by Deborah Ross

#1 - Your mate comes before your children. NEVER allow your children to come between you and your spouse. Remember, a healthy marriage makes the children happy because their confidence will be increased when they live in peace knowing that mom and dad love each other, have respect for one another, and express appropriate affection toward each other. Plus, children learn by example. As you and your spouse show forth a selfless, unconditional love that gives high priority to times of privacy, hand holding, hugging, laughter, and respect for one another, your children are learning what a healthy marriage looks like; and, they will more likely aim to have a healthy marriage - like yours - for themselves one day. Children can be very demanding and while we should aim to be great parents, we should never let our marriage suffer from the pressures of parenting.

Song of Solomon 6:3 - "I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine: he feedeth among the lilies."

#2 - Do not get into the habit of sleeping in separate beds. It is not healthy for married couples to sleep separately. So often, I hear of parents sleeping with the children rather than sleeping with each other. In my opinion it is better to make pallets beside of mom and dad's bed occasionally (when children are fussy, afraid, or have a fever) rather than slip into the habit of sleeping in the children's bed -apart from one another.

1 Corinthians 7:5 - "Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency."

#3 - Never go to sleep angry. Husband and wife need to come to a place of peace before going to sleep. This may mean that YOU will need to apologize. You may even have to apologize for something when you feel like you are in the right. The goal is not to win, but rather to have a reasonable discussion over conflicts and then to come to some type of peaceable solution at the end of the discussion. If your mate is not being rational about coming to a peaceable climax, then simply finish with... "I love you."

Ephesians 4:26 - "Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:"

#4 - Facebook, email, text, phone conversations, and on the job relationships should never be of intimate nature with the opposite sex. In other words, if you would be embarrassed for your spouse to see it or hear it... don't do it! Also, if you are carrying on a conversation that has any implication of being intimate in nature... run the other way! Many marriages end in divorce because of jealousy or even adultery simply because couples fail to adhere to sound practices concerning relationships with the opposite sex.

Proverbs 6:24 - "To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman."

#5 - You must be INTENTIONAL about your marriage. This means, you must intentionally carve out date nights, time for intimate conversations, times of selfless servant hood and sacrifice. Couples need to hold a high respect for their common goal of making it "until death do us part" with a relationship that is exciting and new... not old and worn out. Be intentional about spending quality TIME with each other. Don't let the busyness of life rob you of the precious moments with your spouse that bring lasting memories of love and laughter.

Proverbs 31:11-12 - "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life."

#6 - Time with your friends (of the same sex) is a good thing in moderation, however, too often I hear of women or men taking "vacations" with their friends - leaving their spouse behind. An occasional church retreat is OK, but an all out "vacation" at the beach, Vegas, the Bahamas, or somewhere else is not a wise idea. My grandmother always taught me, "What is good for the goose is good for the gander." If you reserve the right to go with your friends on a vacation without your spouse, then they should be able to go on one without you. Is that what you really want? I feel that vacation money and vacation time is too precious a commodity to spend away from my family. Plus, many of these "vacations away from your spouse" end up being opportunities to sin. Why throw your marriage out to the wolves. Marriage is a sacred thing and should be treated as something valuable. Let me remind you that no one ever intends to get a divorce. Divorce happens when someone in the marriage is careless in the relationship.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 - "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:"

#7 - Watch your mouth! Don't use sarcasm, degrading verbiage, slander, bad body language or negative vocal tones toward your spouse. Be intentional about complementing your spouse - especially in front of others. Get into the habit of encouraging your spouse. Never tear them down. No one has ever been motivated by negativity. If you want to see your spouse be all that they were created to be... encourage them!

Proverbs 18:21 - "Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof."

# 8 - Pray together... OUT LOUD. There is something about praying together as a married couple that creates a bond like none other. It may feel awkward, at first, but start to initiate bedtime prayer with one another and watch as God causes your marriage to bloom like never before. The saying is true... "A family that prays together, stays together!"

2 Timothy 1:3 - "I thank God, whom I serve from my forefathers with pure conscience, that without ceasing I have remembrance of thee in my prayers night and day;"

#9 - Sex is a vital part of your relationship as man and wife. Women should meet the need of their husband by responding to them with interest. Men need to meet the needs of their wife by sharing intimate conversation, romantic hand holding and kisses, and foreplay. So often, couples grow bored, tired, or uncaring toward their sexual relationship with each other. This is VERY DANGEROUS. You must be "intentional" about keeping your relationship ALIVE by keeping a healthy God honoring sexual intimacy with one another.

1 Corinthians 7:3-4 - "Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife."

#10 - Space. People need their space. Honor your spouse by making sure that they have times of refreshing by doing something that they like. Perhaps he likes to play golf occasionally or go to an occasional ball game. She may want to spend the day shopping or talking with friends. The key to a happy and healthy marriage is that personal space is reserved as something in moderation. It is not good for anyone in the marriage to spend obsessive amounts of time doing "their own thing." Use wisdom about the amount of time you spend outside of the home, with friends, or on hobbies.

Isaiah 28:12 - "To whom he said, This is the rest wherewith ye may cause the weary to rest; and this is the refreshing:"

#11 NEVER hit one another! God says that our bodies are the temple of the Lord, so when we hit our mate we are coming against the Lord's temple with violence. God commands us to love one another. In fact, He says to "love your neighbor as yourself." In this case, your spouse is your neighbor... and you would not hit yourself... so you shouldn't hit your spouse, either.

Psalm 11:5 - "The LORD trieth the righteous: but the wicked and him that loveth violence his soul hateth."

To read Mother in Zion - #2 CLICK HERE