Mother in Zion Series - # 2

PRACTICAL & BIBLICAL ADVICE FOR A HEALTHY MARRIAGE by Deborah Ross

Today's study is based on various Proverbs from God's Word.

After an overwhelming response from the Mother in Zion Series #1, I am eager to share more nuggets of truth that will help wives - both young and old - to cultivate a healthy marriage that will last a lifetime. I believe that Satan's number one target is the family. It is only by being INTENTIONAL about our marriage that we can ever expect to truly weather the storms of life.

Below are 10 points to ponder...

#1 - Money isn't everything! While we all need money to survive - and I certainly do believe that God wants to bless us financially - still, as wives, we should never allow our primary focus to be on our financial status. Too often, I'll see women getting caught up in worldly desires of wanting more, charging more, expecting more... all the while being satisfied - LESS! Remember, even though it IS God's desire to bless you and your family financially, you should never allow money to dictate your happiness. In fact, some of life's most precious moments will actually stem from times of financial hardship in your marriage. When you said, "For richer, for poorer", those words were meant to be a promise kept forever - no matter how difficult the circumstance. Arguments over money have destroyed way too many homes. Don't let it destroy yours!

Proverbs 15:16
"Better is little with the fear of the LORD than great treasure and trouble therewith."

#2 - Study your husband! A godly wife has studied her husband's likes and dislikes. She knows how to please him. Remember, Satan is sure to have someone "else" studying your husband at various points throughout your married life. I would not want anyone to know more about my husband's thoughts, desires, habits, likes or dislikes than ME and the only way to be sure of this is to "study" my own husband. Do you know YOUR HUSBAND'S deepest desires?

Proverbs 15:28
"The heart of the righteous studieth to answer: but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things."

#3 - Boob jobs, tummy tucks, face lifts, body sculpting, body piercings, tattoos, make-up, high heels, low cut blouses, micro-mini skirts and so on should not be necessary for your husband to find you attractive. While I don't believe the Lord is against women looking their best, I am certain He would not have us consumed with adjusting our physical appearance in unhealthy or seductive ways. The Word of God is very clear that our inner beauty is much more important than our outward looks. Of course, the "world" says to: lift it, tuck it, change it, flaunt it and shake it. But, God says that true beauty is elegant, graceful, pure, holy and modest. If you are feeling the need to compete with pornographic pictures, television and magazine commercials or even worldly girlfriends who don't know Christ in order to keep your husband's attention, there is something seriously wrong with either your marriage or your self-esteem. Make grooming your inner self (being transformed by God's Word) a top priority. Of course, you should not neglect to keep your outward appearance pretty and well-maintained with good hygiene. But remember, in looking your best for your husband you should NEVER allow the latest "beauty trend" to lure you into compromising your dignity, your health, or your testimony.

Proverbs 11:22
"As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion."

#4 - I asked my husband what he would like to contribute to this article and his response was...

"Tell them, DON'T NAG. Men hate it!"

Are you a nagging wife? If you are, I pray that you will ask God to help you bridle your tongue, IMMEDIATELY! One of the quickest ways to kill a marriage is to be a continuous nag toward your husband. Once he officially TURNS YOU OFF, you will really wonder "why" he never responds to your requests.

Proverbs 21:19
"It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman."

#5 - Ladies, pouting doesn't solve anything. I know, we all like to play charades once in a while, especially when our feelings get hurt. Your man may be clueless about "why" you are upset. He may truly want to make things better, but just doesn't know where to start. This DOES NOT mean that he doesn't care. This simply means that he didn't notice what he did (or, did not do) to offend you. It is always better to discuss your insecurities and offences BEFORE you stew over them. Remember, your husband usually just wants to have fun and be loved. He is a man... and men don't think with their emotions in the same way that women do. So, stop the pouting. It only leads to an argument.

Proverbs 15:17
"Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith."

#6 - Are you in the habit of drinking alcohol or abusing prescription or non-prescription drugs? One sure way to kill a marriage is to drown it, numb it, or escape from it! I wonder just how many homes have been destroyed because of alcohol or drug abuse? You know the routine: a few drinks... next, suspicions and distorted judgements that lead to arguing... then, you call each other hurtful names... eventually, you might even wind up hitting one another. Don't say, "That won't ever happen to us. We can control ourselves. Besides, we only drink (or take these drugs) - sometimes." My friend, I pray that you won't play with fire any longer! The Bible says that we should be drunk with the Holy Ghost and not drunk with wine. The devil always has a counterfeit for everything that God does, and drinking alcohol is Satan's fake "high". He knows there is a real "high" that can only be found in being a born-again, spirit-filled, Child of the King and he doesn't want you to live in that realm. Drinking and taking drugs to relax is bad for your testimony, a careless example toward your children, and it is damaging to your marriage. The best advice is... Don't do it!

Proverbs 23:31-33
"Look not thou upon the wine when it is red, when it giveth his colour in the cup, when it moveth itself aright. At the last it biteth like a serpent, and stingeth like an adder. Thine eyes shall behold strange women, and thine heart shall utter perverse things."

#7 - Living on credit is a trick of the devil. While the world tells us that credit is the American way, the Lord says that we should live by faith and pay as we go. Granted, buying a house or maybe even buying a car can require one to rely on using credit in the US. Even so, Americans - as a whole - are buried in loans from credit card companies and banks because of over-spending. There are three main things that couples most often argue about: money, sex, and the children. Don't allow Satan to wedge his way into your marriage by biting into the alluring apple of debt. My husband and I have learned the hard way that there are many things we can live without. We have learned to be happy whether we have a pocket full of money and even if we're flat broke. Strengthen your marriage. Live by faith AND not on credit!

Proverbs 28:22
"He that hasteth to be rich hath an evil eye, and considereth not that poverty shall come upon him."

#8 - Adultery is not an option for anyone who is married... no matter how unhappy you think you are! Media has made the word "adultery" to be a watered down, digestible term referred to as an "affair". There is nothing about adultery that is watered down - nor digestible. God abhors it! Not only will adultery defile your marriage but it also mars the children, hurts relatives, confuses the church, and poisons YOU! Nothing good ever comes out of extra-marital relationships. Don't let your guard down. Flirty gestures and lewd comments can be lethal to your marriage. Adultery is the most painful of all sins in a marriage and, in most cases, it is unrepairable. The voices that you are hearing in your head about how much better your life would be with this other person - verses your spouse -ARE NOT FROM GOD.

TAKE THOSE THOUGHTS CAPTIVE... RUN THE OTHER WAY!

Proverbs 23:27
"For a whore is a deep ditch; and a strange woman is a narrow pit."

#9 - Honesty is always the best policy! If you are having trouble with something that your spouse said or did, tell them. The Bible teaches us to speak the truth in a loving way. That means, we should avoid bringing anger, resentment and hostility into our relationship. A good marriage has an open line of communication that isn't afraid of confrontation.

Proverbs 27:5
"Open rebuke is better than secret love."

#10 - Everyone loves gifts! Even your husband. Don't give him gifts because he deserves it or just because it is a special occasion. Give him gifts because you are working toward having a great marriage and you want to show him how much you love him. With men, gift giving can be really easy. Think sporting equipment... to a nice romantic dinner followed by a couples bubble bath! Yes, YOU can even BE THE PACKAGE! Keep your marriage alive by surprising your spouse with gifts throughout the year.

Proverbs 17:8
"A gift is as a precious stone in the eyes of him that hath it: whithersoever it turneth, it prospereth."

To read the Mother in Zion Series - # 1... CLICK HERE

http://www.deborahrossministries.org/

WALK IN YOUR DESTINY!

Our study today comes from Genesis, Chapters 12-21. I hope this speaks to some of you today!

In Genesis 12, verses one and two, God tells Abram to go to a foreign land where He will make Abram a great nation. God said he will bless anyone who blesses Abram, but He will curse anyone who cursed him. I think this was God's way of saying, "Don't worry about the people you encounter in the place where I am sending you, because I will protect you."

When Abram arrived in Canaan, God said, "Unto thy seed will I give this land." But because the Canaanite was already living in this new land, Abram decided to keep traveling. I guess he forgot about God telling him not to worry about "people". Besides, these Canaanites were probably not too excited about Abram moving into town. They certainly did not want him to posses "their land".

Did you notice God said He would give that land to Abram's seed? That sounds like God was telling Abram he would have children! Abram was around 75 years old at this time (vs. 12:4). Pretty far-fetched, huh?

When Abram "moved" from where God said stay, he ran into trouble… FAMINE. So in an attempt to provide for the needs of his family, he gives his wife (Sarai) to the Pharaoh of Egypt; claiming she is his "sister" so that they can have peace and wealth for a season. It makes no sense, but to Abram it was the only way. Yuk!

Abram was not being obedient to the Lord. He was not living in the "destiny" God had spoken into his heart back in Genesis 12:1. Even so, in compassion God delivered Abram and his wife from the Egyptians. He even gave them cattle, silver and gold as spoils from the Egyptian people. God had a plan for Abram and even Abram's immaturity of how to stand on His Word couldn't stop God's plan from coming to pass.

Chapter 13: When back in Canaan, once again God told Abram to look around because everything he saw was to be the inheritance of both him and his seed. In Chapter 15, verses two and three, Abram questions God for prolonging his ability to have children (seed). God reassures Abram that his seed will surely be as numerous as the stars of the heavens. God reminds Abram that He brought him out of his homeland to bless him in the promised land.

You know the story… Sarai, his wife, becomes impatient and tries to help God. She gave her handmaid, Hagar, to her husband, Abram, so that God's seed promise would come to pass. Even though Sarai and Abram were disobedient in trying to force the Will of God to come to pass "in their time", God still had a plan. Abram and Sarai's immaturity did not stop His plan.

Yet again in Chapter 17, when Abram is ninety-nine years old, God tells him, "I will give unto thee, and to thy seed after thee, the land wherein thou art a stranger, all the land of Canaan…" God even changed Sarai and Abram's names to be called Sarah and Abraham, further reminding them of their position in His eyes. Here again, Abram didn't quite get it. In verses 17 and 18, Abram actually laughed at God saying surely you must be talking about Ishmael. Is he the seed that will inherit the land of Canaan? (Ishmael was the son born out of disobedience.)

Finally, in Chapter 18, God appears as three men (FATHER, SON and HOLY GHOST) before Abraham to tell him that this time next year, they will have a son (Isaac). Now Sarah was very old "she" laughed within herself at God! Still, her doubt didn't stop God from pursuing them. He wanted them to take their rightful position in His plan to bless them.

For some reason Abraham "moved" again. This time he came to a place where he felt he had to lie (again) saying Sarah was his sister. (Well, it wasn't a complete lie. After-all, he and Sarah did have the same father.) Although God had told Abraham time and time and time again that his seed would inherit the land of Canaan, Abraham continued wandering aimlessly; not realizing his position as Sarah's husband and a man chosen to have favor by God. Still, in spite of Abraham's immaturity, God delivered Sarah and Abraham out of the hand of Abimelech. God even gave them favor to receive silver from this experience.

In Chapter 20, verse sixteen, Abimelech goes on to rebuke Sarah and Abraham by saying, "He is a covering to your eyes". In other words, Abraham was a "husband", not a brother! He was the man who God appointed to be an heir to God's promises. Sarah and Abraham needed to stand tall and to "be" who God had called them to be. It seems (up until this point) while they knew God had spoken to them and promised them land and children, they did not fully receive their positional standing of who God called them to be. He had called them to be man and wife in a land where He would send them. Yet, they kept holding onto their past, saying they were brother and sister.

Is there something God has called you to be? You know you have heard the voice of the Lord many times speaking to your heart about the inheritance He has for you; yet, you are immature (afraid, fearful, insecure, or timid) over accepting the position He has appointed just for you. Will you be reproved right now by the Word of the Lord and begin to confidently proclaim the thing He has spoken to your heart?

Yes, even in old age (or at least old to you) God will perform that thing He has promised! So PROCLAIM your position. Stand strong. Believe. And, walk in your destiny!

In Christ,
Deboah Ross
http://www.deborahrossministries.org/