Friday, January 15, 2010



Dear Beautiful Women of God:

I often get letters from readers who have a prayer request, a praise report, and even those who just need some biblical advice. The letter below is from a young mother who is struggling in a decision of career verses motherhood. While it is possible to do both, there is certainly nothing wrong with being a stay-at-home mom either. I pray that her question and my response will minister to many of you who are caught in the balance of what to do...

Deborah, would you please pray for me. Without getting into a long, drawn out story, I'll just summarize by saying I'm not happy at my job. My heart is at home with my baby. Since he's been born, I've just wanted to be a stay-at-home-mom. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that I'd want to do that after all the education my parents paid for me to have! But, I truly believe now that God did intend for mommies to be at home with their kids. Unfortunately, most people lives are built around two salaries these days. But, I want to be with him so badly right now during the early years of his life. My mother keeps him for me, and that's the next best thing, but I'm unhappy at work (maybe that's what's put the crazy idea in my head about being home with him, I'm not sure). I just need some guidance about what to do, and I know I need prayer. Thank you so much.


I know EXACTLY how you feel. I had a successful dance studio (3 successful dance studios, in fact) for 20 years - but the last 7 years were so difficult. Although I loved my career, I wish I would have obeyed the Lord sooner and let it go, but I was afraid. I will tell you that once I finally gave it ALL to the Lord (sold my businesses) and trusted Him for our finances, I have not looked back a single day since. It was the best thing I've ever done!

Everyone thought that I was crazy. My mother, especially, because she feared what would happen to our future. I was the bread winner and my husband did not make as much money as I did, nor, was he very good with finances. It was a big leap of faith, but Praise the Lord... one of the most peaceful and God honoring things I have ever done. Now that my children are in 12th grade and 10th grades, I am so glad that I had those years of being a good mother to them. I just wish I would have done it sooner. I even home schooled for 2 years and felt that God was redeeming the time that I had left my babies in child care while working.

Try to think of your life as being in seasons (segments of time). There is the child rearing season and then, God willing, there will be MANY more years after the children are grown that you will be able to focus on your job, your ministry, your hobby, community service or whatever - 100%. Eighteen years of your life (child rearing years) is only a portion of your life span. You can still use your education later down the road AND you can even use it now with PART TIME jobs or projects that the Lord gives you peace about doing. I have learned over the years to follow after PEACE. If you want to be in God's will, FOLLOW PEACE. He will provide for your needs as you keep Him first place in your heart and continue to tithe and give offerings. It is not always easy to have one income, in fact, sometimes it might be really difficult; but, I can tell you, first hand, that it will be the most peaceful, difficult days you could ever experience and... you can count on God to ALWAYS see you through.

I believe that as you step into your role as wife and mom, you actually EMPOWER your husband to be the man that God has called him to be - as head of the household. My husband is wiser, more respected, more confident, and earns more money today because of my willingness to listen to God by stepping down for a season. Did my husband like the idea, at first? Not really. He was immature and afraid - just like me. Still, we came to a place of faith - together - trusting that it was the right thing to do. And since then, we have been so richly blessed!!!

When I think of my fondest childhood memories, I think of my grandmother who didn't work and who was PEACEFULLY there for me as a mentor and role model of Christ.

I will pray for you! I will pray that you will have courage to follow your heart AND I will pray God's blessings on your family as a result of your faith and obedience. I will pray that either your husband gets a promotion and/or that you find a VERY PART TIME job to give you a little money each week for simple extras. You need to ask God for His best and don't waiver in your prayer life just because you think it is too much to ask. There is NOTHING TOO HARD FOR GOD!!! If you don't want a part time job, then ask God to promote your husband!

God is good and He gives good gifts to those who trust and obey Him with a heart of faith, compassion and love. Being a full-time mom is an act of LOVE!

In Christ,
Deborah Ross Ministries
Strengthening Families & Encouraging Women

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