WOMAN2WOMAN: THE NAOMI & RUTH EXPERIENCE
LESSON FIVE
Forgiveness / Overcoming
Bitterness
BIBLE
TRUTH
Only forgiveness
will heal the internal wounds of the mind, will and emotions. Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door
and releases all forms of hurt
(emotional pain that follows a grievous event).
On the other hand, bitterness
is the poison that keeps an offense alive in our hearts and minds. Bitterness uses the voice of torment to
continually remind us of our injury.
Romans 12:21 says, “Be not overcome of evil,
but overcome evil with good.” We are
overcome with evil when we don't forgive, because Satan uses unforgiveness to
grow his kingdom of hatred in the hearts and lives of humanity. The devil's desire is for us to return evil
thoughts for evil deeds. He knows that
by creating painful offenses in our lives he can cause us to hold resentment
toward others. He knows that the
unforgiving poison of resentment will keep the goodness of God's kingdom from
working in, and through, our lives.
Unforgiveness gives Satan the victory as bitterness grows into anger,
wrath, hatred, revenge, violence and even murder (either through our thoughts
and words, or, by our actual deeds).
When we choose to forgive a perpetrator from
biting words, rejection, abuse, or even physical harm, we have overcome that
evil with good. God’s wisdom surpasses
our understanding as His grace gives us the ability to forgive even the most
heinous of crimes. Not only does
forgiveness release us from the invisible prison of pain and torment, but it
also releases God’s love to heal our wounds.
Take a moment and read Matthew 18:15-35, which
is all about forgiving. One important principle is in verse 18. Did you know that you can bind unforgiveness
and loose forgiveness in your heart and soul?
Discuss.
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Ps 133:1 Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell
together in unity!
A DEEPER
LOOK
In Hebrews 12:16-17, we are reminded of Esau
despising his birthright. Our birthright
into God’s kingdom is a gift based on the forgiveness given to us through the
blood of Jesus Christ.
Esau sold his birthright for some meat (obviously, he didn’t value it). God requires that we forgive others as we have been forgiven by Him for our sins (Matthew 6:12) - this is how God’s kingdom works. He gives to us, and we give to others. It is a dangerous thing to devalue our birthright by not forgiving others. Just as Esau sold his birthright, we can sell ours for bitterness. The act of forgiveness is an extension of our birthright.
If there is still hurt attached to the memory
of an offensive event in our lives, then forgiveness is not complete. God’s completed work of forgiveness will
enable us to remember the wrongdoing, but
we will not suffer from the painful effects of someone else's actions any
longer.
Remember, forgiveness does not mean that we
submit to further abuse from that same source.
We can forgive people who have mistreated us, and at the same time not
tolerate their victimization any longer.
Recognize and make a list of the hurts you
have experienced.
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Mark
11:26
But if ye do not forgive, neither will your
Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.
WORKING
IN YOUR LIFE
- Forgiveness
from the heart is the only kind of forgiveness that works. Forgiveness from the heart is not an
intellectual forgiveness, nor is it the result of someone trying to be
super-spiritual; instead, forgiveness is an attitude that emulates
Jesus.
- Forgiveness is
not an emotion, but an act of will.
If you wait for an emotion, you won’t forgive because unforgiveness
is already present and at work in your heart, mind and body.
- Learning to
separate the person from the sin makes it possible to forgive people who
have done evil things. You can hate
evil and that is a very good thing (Proverbs 8:13), but you can’t hate the
person. Jesus was able to forgive
those that murdered him. He was
able to separate sin from the person, “Father, forgive them; for they know
not what they do.” As Christians,
we are born-again into the same Spirit (1 Peter 1:22-23) so we can also
respond in the same manner as Jesus.
- Forgiveness is
something we need to do every day.
Take an inventory of each day, and make those hurts, whether big or
small, inconsequential with forgiveness.
When we fail by returning evil for evil, we must quickly repent so that we can move
ahead. Forgiving quickly will protect
us, by not giving place to the devil in our lives (Ephesians 4:26-27).
- God is so much
bigger than the evil done to us; so, we can trust Him with all hurtful
events. Evil is never right, but
God is the avenger.
Read Luke 6:31-36. What is God saying?
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Do you think you can forgive? If not,
why?
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REAL
LIFE EXAMPLE
What does bitterness do? It avoids people, turns stomachs, causes
mental and emotional pain, causes piercing hostility, builds invisible walls,
causes paralyzing thoughts and it can even make someone physically sick and/or
terminally ill. Manifestations of
bitterness might be seen in self-doubt, sarcasm, a hardened face, a gruff voice,
foul language, rebellion, negativity, addictions, spitting, hitting, withdrawal
from society, hoarding, and/or sexual promiscuity. Perhaps you've witnessed the bitterness of
someone else. If so, what you saw was
their bitterness defiling them.
One example of the manifestation of bitterness
in the Old Testament is the story of Joseph and his brothers. Their dislike was so great that they were
going to kill him, but instead, ended up selling him into slavery. Bitterness separates us from God, separates
us from others and even separates us from ourselves. Unchecked bitterness will result in destroyed
relationships.
Has anyone else's bitterness ever affected
you? Explain.
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Would you be willing to confess that you hate
bitterness and what it does to mankind?
Will you ask God to take all bitterness from you?
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Will you take responsibility and name any
sinful responses of bitterness that you have had?
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MAKING
IT HAPPEN!
1.
When we fail to read and understand God's word, painful offenses can
even cause us to develop bitterness toward God. Harboring lying thoughts such as; "God
has forgotten me" or, “God has caused this to happen to me" can play
into the devil's evil device of luring us away from the only One who can truly
save and heal us from our torment.
Scripture tells us plainly that the devil is the one who wants to kill,
steal and destroy and that Jesus is the one who gives us life more abundantly
(John 10:10). God is love (1 John 4:16). Repent
to God now for any bitterness you may have toward Him.
2. Forgive
yourself if you hold regret, shame and guilt. With repentance, God not only forgives, but also
cleanses us from all unrighteousness. It
is sinful to not forgive ourselves when Holy God has already forgiven us.
3. Forgive
others for the pain they have caused you.
Take the list you made of "hurtful events" and repent to God
for any bitterness you have toward others.
Tell God you forgive and release each person of the debt of sin that was
committed against you.
4. Ask
others for forgiveness. If you have
caused pain, offended or defiled someone else, you may need to go to that
person and tell them that you are sorry for your actions. Make this easy and don’t replay the
"hurtful event" as that could stir up anger. Simply say, "I have had bitterness
towards you, and I am sorry. Please
forgive me."
1 John
1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and
just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Romans
12:2
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye
transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good,
and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
HOMEWORK
Our homework is the ongoing process of walking
out of bitterness and changing our ways of thinking to the mind of Christ. We do this by holding every thought captive
and rejecting those thoughts that don’t line up with the Word of God (2
Corinthians 10:5). This is an ongoing
effort, so be kind and patient with yourself.
God is thrilled that you are learning about your birthright!
Ask God to give you His love for all people
and then practice making statements of
faith that declare where you want to go in your forgiveness journey. Remember, forgiveness is a process that
begins with a decision. Although
difficult to feel, initially, forgiveness is where your heart is pointed and
complete healing will be the end result of God's forgiving grace.
NAOMI
& RUTH REFLECTION
Initially, Naomi blamed God for her
problems. We know in the whole council
of the Word of God that the Lord does not bring us evil; He sent His Son to
destroy it. There is hope for all of us
as we see Naomi work through her "‘hurtful events" as she returned to
her home and to her God. The reward for
her obedience was restoration of her life.
This is also available to you.
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***This lesson was contributed by Marlene Bussert. The Woman2Woman: Naomi & Ruth Experience Bible Study is a joint project between Deborah Ross Ministries and Safer Communities Ministry. Many teachers and ministers of the gospel from across the USA have contributed lessons contained in this study. Deborah Ross is the main contributor and the chief editor of this project.
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About this Study
The Woman2Woman: Naomi & Ruth
Experience Bible study uses the example of the relationship between Naomi
and Ruth as a model for women who desire to participate in a discipleship program
to the glory of God. It is specifically
designed for use in a mentoring setting that takes place once per week whereby
a more mature Christian woman makes a commitment to serve as the mentor in a Bible study relationship with
another woman who is newer (less knowledgeable) in the faith. By sharing and discussing one study topic at
each meeting, the hearts of both women involved will be transformed as God in their midst speaks to each of
them through His Word (Matthew 18:20).
In addition to cultivating a new believer’s
knowledge of the Word, this in-depth study guide is a great resource that can
be used to minister help and healing from:
a broken heart; shattered relationships; addictions; prison/jail time; a
life of dysfunction; abandonment; mental, physical or sexual abuse; depression;
and beyond. This material is also
designed to bring healing to extended female family members of those suffering,
as well.
Realizing that there are many potential mentors
who really want God to use them in a powerful way, this material has been designed
to ease the apprehension that may cause the willing leader to feel inadequate. Like Naomi, you don’t have to be perfect
(free from struggles) in order to mentor and disciple another woman. You just need to be following the Lord in
honest, scriptural ways and you’ll need to make yourself available to
love another person by sharing what you do
know about the Lord at this time in your life.
28 LESSONS!
