Marriage - Are You Doing the Word?

James 1:19 KJV

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man (or woman) be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man (or woman) worketh not the righteousness of God.

- emphasis added -

My grandmother always taught me to "kill'em with kindness."  She always said it would be difficult  for someone to be ugly to you if you continued to treat them with respect and dignity.  As hard as her lesson was for me to understand as a child, today, I can clearly see how her teachings were Biblical principles that God would one day reveal to me as truth.  These words were buried deep within my soul as a child, and, no doubt, have helped me to withstand some difficult situations in my own marriage while I patiently waited for my breakthrough to finally arrive.

I think the book of James is a good starting place for us to study in seeking how we can learn to silence arguments and put an end to dysfunction in our homes.  James says that we are to be "swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath."  Until we recognize that change begins within US, we will forever be trying to "fix" everyone else  - in particular, our spouse.  We will never rest in the promises of our Lord for complete victory in our marriage, until we settle it in our heart that "we cannot change our spouse!"  So, let us take instruction from James that our breakthrough will manifest only if we do our part.  We must learn to control OUR MOUTH by praying, "Lord help me to listen more and talk less, so that You can work in my marriage."

In addition, James 1:22 says that we should be "doers of the word, and not hearers only."  Now, being a doer of the word does not mean that we make others...  "do the word."  On the contrary, it means that we make ourselves come into agreement with the word of the Lord even while in adverse circumstances.  Marriage is not always easy (especially if one spouse is lost).  Even so, as Christians, we are to do our part by being obedient to the things of God - even while it is not convenient.  If it were easy to be a "doer of the word", then being a "doer" would not require faith.  But, we are people of faith and we need to understand that our faith grows as we exercise it.  So don't be afraid to exercise your faith when it comes to being a doer of the word in your marriage.

There is one themed rebuttal that is always spoken to me by someone hurting in marriage:  "But you don't know what they did to me" or "You don't understand what I have to put up with."  When these valid comments come across my ministry, I gently take these broken souls back to God's word which speaks of self control, controlling our tongue, praying, and trusting Him.  Granted, one spouse in the marriage may be like a wild bull running through a china store.  Still, that doesn't justify the other spouse to be moved, shaken, or provoked to sin against God.  In the midst of a marital storm, we must remember that God is on the throne and He loves our marriage.  He is on our side and will fight our battles for us if we will just tame ourselves and lay our marriage on the altar for Him to work a miracle.  Malachi 2:16 says, God hates divorce, so our job as a married Christian is to work toward avoiding divorce... even through the fiercest storm. 

The devil is forever tempting God's children.  He knows that if he can just get a Christian to be drawn away of his own lust and enticed to sin then he can kill them.  His greatest thrill is to see sin conceived in a child of God because it is sure to bring forth death in certain areas of their life.  For instance, if the devil can get us to enter into arguing with our spouse, he has a better chance at getting us to believe that we are justified in hating them.  Then once we are convinced that we don't need our spouse anymore (because we just can't get along), we are now in a position to believe that divorce is OK in our situation.  Divorce is the calculated death that the devil is ultimately seeking to arrange in the lives of every married couple.  But the devil doesn't stop there.  The enemy of our soul will go much further than the initial divorce.  Most often, divorce  causes bitterness to fester.  Bitterness leads to wrath... and wrath leads to revenge.  Now does anger, bitterness, wrath, and revenge sound like characteristics of one claiming to be a Child of God?  (See James 1:3-15)

So in conclusion, James 1 says that our religion is vain if we don't learn to bridle our tongue.  Remember the trying of our faith (especially in marriage) teaches us to have patience.  And, the patience produced in us will make us perfect in the end.  This means that our faith will be purified in our trials, making us ready to receive the reward that God has waiting for those who believe Him and act according to His word even throughout adverse circumstances. 

Hebrews 11:6

But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

If you haven't already read my story, I'd like to encourage you to pick up a copy of my book, Healing a Broken Marriage, today.  I have experienced, first hand, how God's word will come to pass in seemingly hopeless marital conditions of my own.  Today, my marriage is healed and thriving because the Lord is faithful and His word is true!  My book is a step by step faith walk of praying for my husband for twelve years as heartache after heartache pointed toward divorce.  Glory to God, the devil didn't win the battle and now I live to tell others how they, too, can claim victory in their home.  My book teaches practical and spiritual lessons that must be mixed together to bring results.   

The Lord doesn't want any to perish.  He wants all to come to salvation.  As the spouse who professes to know God (I say this because you are reading this article), I exhort you to stand strong and see the salvation of the Lord for your loved one.  Believe God against all odds.  And, very important, mix all of your faith with God- centered actions that will create fertile soil for your miracle.  When you line yourself up with Kingdom principles in your "doing", you can expect results from a God who loves you, loves your marriage, and loves your children.

So take the narrow road, tame your tongue, harness your emotions, exercise your faith, and trust God in all things.  He loves you!

 Job 6:24 KJV
Teach me, and I will hold my tongue: and cause me to understand wherein I have erred.

Biblical Order of the Home

BALANCING CHILDREN, WORK, AND INTIMACY

God has established order to everything... He is the God of order!  When studying scripture as a marriage life-book of "how to", it is easy to see that God has a divine command we must all heed if we want our marriage to endure: the tests of time; the on slot of offense; and the pull of worldly influence.  Satan comes to kill, steal, and destroy (John 10:10).  He hates families and will stop at nothing by instigating terms for division, strife, and even divorce - in every home - as he slithers his way into situations, circumstances, attitudes, and presuming lifestyles between a man and his wife.  So don't be surprised when the gates of hell turn up the heat in your household.  There is nothing new under the sun.

On the other hand, married couples can expect to overcome all of life's twists and turns - so that their passion never runs cold - when they commit to making their relationship with each other of highest priority (under Christ).  Contrary to the assumption of most unsuspecting married couples, staying true to the marriage vow, "until death do us part", doesn't just happen.  It takes work... continuous work...intentional work!  But, keeping a marriage alive is not a begrudging chore.  Instead, it is a fulfilling journey of growing closer and closer as, together, you work to serve one another! 

Speaking of order, 1 Corinthians 11:3 says that the order of the family should be as follows: God, Christ, Man, Woman.  As much as women hate to admit it, our role in the marriage is to be a helper to our husbands (Genesis 2:18).  The man is to be the head of the household, under Christ, and has the burden of carrying the weight of the home on his shoulders.  Even the natural strength of a man over the femininity of a woman paints the picture of God's design for establishing order in the home (see: 1 Peter 3:7).  Does this mean that women aren't supposed to work?  Not necessarily.  It does mean, however, that the predominate role of a woman in marriage should be that of an encourager to her husband and a nurturer to her children; while the prevailing role of the man should be that of a provider and spiritual leader.

WORK

When it comes to work, men and women, alike, all-too-often get caught in a work-a-holic syndrome.  The obligations of keeping the bills paid, the lure of a success driven society, and the sin of wanting too many "things" can all lead to burn-out in marriage.  God intended for us to have balanced lives and while work is essential, it should never be elevated above the family.  After all, you work to make a fruitful life for your family.  What benefit is "the good life" if, in the end, the family unit is shattered - all because of the obsessive cycle of making more, spending more, and expecting more?  The best way to evaluate your allegiance to your career is through the filter of the following order of importance:  #1 - God;  #2 - Family; #3 - Business.  If your work priorities tend to slip from this formula, it's imperative (for the sake of your marriage) that you reevaluate your motives and restructure your lifestyle - immediately!

INTIMACY

Another mistake I often see young mothers making is that of becoming preoccupied with their everyday duties of nurturing, cooking, shopping, and cleaning, while presuming that their husband will "understand" her constant neglect of affection - especially in the bedroom.  I know how it is, by the end of the day a mother is zapped and "one more thing to do" when her head hits the pillow at night can become the dreaded love making task instead of a joyful finale of intimate communion with her man.  There is great danger in allowing affection with your spouse to wane.  Again, the most important part of your duties as a husband/wife and dad/mom (besides your complete devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ) is that of putting your marriage above all else.  Romance, sex, and even date nights MUST be a part of your "schedule" in order to avoid the subtle drift of growing apart.  Men, that means putting the remote down, turning the computer off, and making an effort towards being creative in how to spend quality time with your wife, as well.  Each partner has an obligation to meet the need of the other when it comes to keeping the flames of passion burning brightly throughout the course of a life-time in marriage. 

CHILDREN

In a thriving, Christ-centered marriage, your relationship with your spouse should always come before your relationship with your children!  While this may seem like a no brainer, it is actually a big problem with families today.  Does this mean that the children are not important?  Not at all.  It simply means that marriage is - first, and foremost -  about the husband and wife honoring one another, as two souls remain one flesh under the banner of Christ Jesus.  Children can be very demanding and, while we should aim to be great parents, we should never let our marriage suffer from the pressures of parenting.

In today's American, fast-paced culture, I am seeing more and more parents putting a significant amount of time into the extracurricular activities of their children and the pursuit of keeping up with society.  While this may seem like a wonderful thing to do on the surface, an unbalanced approach to activities outside of the home early on, can lead to serious marital problems - later on.  After all, what good will all of these endeavors be if after years of running here, there and everywhere, you end up with a broken home - all because you neglected to prioritize your life in such a way that gives glory to God.  Psalm 46:10 says to "be still and know that He is God."  Carve out time each day to "be still" with your family as you worship God together with the sweet aroma of a balanced lifestyle. 

Furthermore, Ephesians 6:1 and Colossians 3:20 says that "children should obey their parents in the Lord."  From here, we can see that God's divine order for the home is for the children to come up under the parents (not just the mom and not just the dad, but both parents - functioning in agreement with one another).  Many well meaning mothers tend to elevate their children to a position of priority over their husbands.  NEVER allow your children to come between you and your spouse. Remember, a healthy marriage ultimately makes the children happy because their confidence will be increased when they live in peace knowing that mom and dad love each other, have respect for one another, and express appropriate affection toward the other. As you and your spouse show forth a selfless, unconditional love that gives high priority to times of privacy, hand holding, hugging, laughter, and honor for one another, your children are learning what a healthy marriage looks like and will likely aim to have a balanced marriage of their own one day, as they learn life application skills from you.  This is the essence of what it truly means to train up a child in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6).     

In closing, I remind you of the following points about "how to" enrich your marriage so that your love for one another never grows cold:

·        God has an order to everything. 

·        Marriage takes work. 

·        You must be intentional about making your marriage all that God has planned.    

·        The devil is working hard to strategize the demise of your wedding vows.

·        You must be adamant about APPLYING the Word of the Lord to every area of your marriage on a daily basis. 

Don't be duped by the devil.  Life is about choices and making the right decisions each and every day will add up to the sum total of the destiny of your family (see: Deuteronomy 30:19).  Remember, over half of ALL MARRIAGES (the church is no exception) end up divorced.  Shield your marriage from destruction by getting your life in order, NOW!

~~~~~~~~~~~

Deborah Ross is a Bible teacher, speaker, singer, author, and choreographer.  Her new book titled, Healing a Broken Marriage: LoveNever Fails, is a great resource for more on "how to" have a healthy, God-centered marriage.  Deborah has been married to her husband, Jay, since 1984.  Together, they have two teenage sons.  Deborah's passion is to know God and her calling is to share His love with the world.  To find out more about her ministry go to www.DeborahRossMinistries.org   

Herman & Sharron Show With Guest: Deborah Ross

Part 1 - 15 minutes

Part 2 - 15 minutes

- Watch Deborah on the Herman & Sharron Show -

From Monday, July 25, 2011, on CTN (Christian Television Network)

Regarding re-run air times, viewers will need to check their local listings.

(Direct TV station 376 and Dish Network on station 267. Also now seen on GloryStarNetwork and Sky Angel IPTV on channel136. CTN is also “lived streamed” over the internet and Herman & Sharron can be watched at 10:00am Eastern time over the internet.)

A DVD of the program can be purchased for $19.95 at order-line at 1-800-700-7064. 
You will need to give the order-line the program number HS11-7-25 and guest, Deborah Ross.

How to be Born Again

How to be Forgiven & Born Again

JOHN 3:3

"Jesus answered and said unto him, 'Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.'"

The Word of God teaches that unless we are "born-again" we cannot see the Kingdom of God.
This means:

· We cannot "live" in the Kingdom of God;
· We cannot "receive the benefits" of the Kingdom of God;
· We cannot "understand" the Kingdom of God;
· And, we cannot have "eternal life" in God's Kingdom;

... Until we become a born-again Child of God.

Being born-again is a supernatural experience that is - in some ways - much like that of being born from our mother's womb. The difference, of course, is that we are not physically born-again, but rather, spiritually transformed in our spirit man. When we were born from our mother's womb, we did not need to understand the process before we could enter this world. Yet, since the day of our natural birth, we have been continually growing in our understanding so that as adults we can begin to comprehend the miraculous wonder of conception, pregnancy and the childbirth existence.

Being born-again is no different. We don't need to fully understand the concept in order to become a Child of God. We simply believe in faith on the price that Jesus paid for our sins; and then, supernaturally, God plants His seed of righteousness inside of our hearts. That seed will grow throughout our lifetime as we gain a greater understanding of our born-again transformation. From that day forward we will be ever-maturing from that of a new born babe in Christ into a sanctified Child of God.

JOHN 3:16

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

God's Word promises eternal life to everyone who confesses with their mouth and believes in their heart that Jesus is Lord (Romans 10:10). Being a born-again Child of God is really simple, and yet, many will fail to understand how to become a Christian because of their unwillingness to turn from a life of sin. Sin separates mankind from God. God is holy and He cannot co-exist with sin. As hard as we may try, we can never completely rid ourselves of sin in order to walk in the favor of God. In fact, everything about our human nature pulls away from God. Romans 8:7 says that we are incapable of following God's laws because our human nature is hostile toward the truth of God's Word.

JOHN 3:21

"But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God."

It is only when we allow the light of God to shine down on our hearts that we can see the truth about our sinful condition. Stepping into the light of God requires that we humbly come to the throne of grace with a true heart of repentance from all known sin. Repentance is not just saying "I'm sorry", neither does it try to justify thoughts and deeds with rational explanations of "why". Rather, repentance is a change of our heart and mind. When we repent, we admit our wrong doing or wrong thoughts while standing spiritually naked before God.

In order to be supernaturally transformed (born-again) we must first recognize that we are a sinner who needs a Savior. As God shines His light of truth (His Word) upon our hearts, our response should be a sincere cry of relinquishing our will to His. At that same moment, as we put all of our trust in the belief that Jesus is, indeed, the Son of God, and that He died for our sins; the breath of God blows the wind of the Holy Spirit into our innermost being as we are gloriously changed from a sinner to a saint. We don't have to fully understand it all. We just need to accept, by faith, that God loves us so much that He sent His Son, Jesus, into the world to make a way for us to live in His Kingdom... now and for all eternity.

MARK 11:26

"But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses."

Realize that repentance and being forgiven by God are synonymous with forgiving others. After all, how can we expect God to forgive our sins, if we are not also willing to forgive those who have sinned against us? 1 John 3:15 tells us that if we hate someone, we are a murderer and we should know that murderers do not have eternal life abiding within their hearts.

1 JOHN 4:7-8

"Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love."

In order to truly know God, we must be willing to lay down all grudges, bitterness, wrath, jealousy, malice, envy, strife, and revenge. God is love. If we are to be a born-again Child of God, we too, must agree to love the way Christ loves us. God loves us so much that He sent Jesus to die for our sins even when we didn't deserve salvation. Is there someone who doesn't deserve your forgiveness? Yet, in order to be more like Christ, you will purpose in your heart to forgive them.

JOHN 3:18-19

"He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil."

I think John 3:19 explains the reason that Jesus is such a stumbling block for those who don't want to believe He is the Son of God. So many religions accept that Jesus was a prophet or that He was a good man and they may even go as far as to say that He was born of a virgin and that He even died on a cross; however, in an effort to hide from the truth of one's sinful heart, many choose to follow a lie - a false religion - in an effort to make themselves feel as though they will have eternal life... IN SPITE OF THEIR LOVE FOR SIN.

God is love. God loves people. God is Holy. God hates sin. He has made a way for us to be reconciled to Himself. He sent His love, in the form of a man named Jesus, into the world to touch, heal, and save those who will sincerely believe that He is the Christ.

GALATIANS 2:20

"I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me."

Jesus gave His life for you and I. Will you give your life back to Him and accept His outstretched hand of mercy, grace, and love? God does not want anyone to spend an eternity in hell (separated from His love). He wants everyone to live with Him forever!

If you want to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior... If you want to be born-again... If you want to be forgiven... Pray this simple prayer with all of your heart:

"Father God, I confess that I am a sinner in need of a Savior. I believe, in faith, that Jesus is truly the Son of God, and while I may not understand everything right now, I do believe that Jesus was born of a virgin, He walked the earth as God in the flesh, He died on a cross, and He was raised from the dead by the power of God. I believe that you, Lord, love me so much that you made a way for me to have eternal life. I confess _____________ (fill in the blank for all known sin). Lord, help me to turn from sin. Change my heart and mind so that I will become more like you. Wash me clean and make me a brand new creature. God, please cause me to understand the Bible. I pray that your Word will come alive in my spirit as I seek to know you more. I give you my life. I worship you. I praise you. In Jesus Name, Amen!"

Now, tell someone that you have made Jesus your Lord and Savior. I would love to be the first person to know that my gift of love (this article) has brought you to eternal life. Comment to me about your born-again experience on this blog... or, click onto my web-site and write to me personally. Now, go and sin no more (John 8:11) for your sins are forgiven and you are truly born-again! Hallelujah!

Yours in Christ,
DeborahDeborah Ross Ministries
Strengthening Families & Encouraging Womenhttp://www.deborahrossministries.org/

Body, Soul and Spirit

Romans 8:1     There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.   

Have you ever thought about who you are... what makes you tick... or, the core of your existence?  Have you sat and pondered the idea of life after death?  Maybe you've heard people speak of body, soul and spirit, but to you, this is merely a phrase that describes some type of spa experience alluding to total relaxation through meditation or pampering.

Actually, human beings are made up of a SPIRIT who has a SOUL who lives in a BODY.  Initially, this may be too deep of a concept to grasp, but once we fully understand these three aspects of our being, we can obtain a clearer understanding of how God's Word brings life to the total person.

When God said, "Let us make man in our image," He was referring to the fact that man is a triune being in much the same way that God is a trinity. While God is only ONE, the scriptures teach us that He is made up of three parts: Father; Son; and Holy Spirit. In the same way, while each person is only one, each human being is made up of three distinct parts: Body; Soul; and Spirit.

Think of an egg. One egg has three parts. The shell houses the egg white and in the center of it all is the yoke. The same concept is true of the trinity of God (Father, Son, Holy Spirit) and the tripartite makeup of man (Body, Soul, Spirit); all are one, and yet, they are three.

When God created Adam, He molded him out of the dust of the ground.  Paying careful attention to every cell, blood vessel, nerve, organ, and body part, God created the human body to work in synchronized harmony so that His prized creation could live in a perfectly designed house of flesh and blood.  Every body part was carefully constructed so that this new being would be able to take dominion over the earth with physical excellence.  This earthly vessel had to be designed so that it could house something God decided to create in His image - something very precious to Him. 

Unfortunately, the body seeks to rule for the sake of pleasure. The body is always screaming, "FEED ME, FEED ME!" Left to itself, the human body tends to become gluttonous when it comes to the things that God has allowed with moderation such as: food; drink; touch; adornment; sex; approval; and accolades.  In addition, oftentimes Satan will bring drugs and alcohol into someone's life because he knows that the human body can begin to crave these "false highs" and the devil's chief desire is to kill, steal and destroy God's creation.  If the body is allowed to rule the being, there will be no thought for long term health and welfare.  This does not please God. 

So the human BODY is really intended to be nothing more than a shell.  It is our God-made "human suit" that clothes our spirit and soul.  Because of sin, our bodies will eventually wear out and die, but our real person - our soul and spirit - will escape death to live on, either in the presence of God or apart from Him for ever and ever.  In addition, the Bible teaches us that one day, those who have died to be with the Lord, will be reunited with their glorified body on the day of resurrection.  The newly created and completely perfected three-in-one, born-again Christian will continue to live throughout all of eternity as God originally intended: never dying; never breaking down; and never in need.  Our bodies will function at optimal (supernatural) level; free from the effects of sin.

At first glance, our soul and spirit may seem to be so closely related that it is hard for us to comprehend the distinct significance of the two.  Let's break down the function of each, so that we can gain a better understanding of the spiritual growth of a christian according to the scriptures.  When it comes to understanding human behavior and how to live the life of an over comer - as God commands - it is very important that we study the deep truths of God's Word and how to apply His Word to our total human being.

So let's look first at our SOUL.  Our soul is described as our MIND, our WILL and our EMOTIONS.  It is the part of us that thinks, makes decisions and has a personality.  We may assume that our soul is the "real us" - the one in control - and often it is.  The soul is strong, determined, opinionated, self -centered and selfish when left to itself.  The desire of the soul is to give the body comfort.  The seat of the soul wants to rule over the total man for the sake of self preservation - whether by means of good or bad.  The soul is the part of mankind that chooses to obey or disobey God on a day to day basis.  Man's soul was originally created to give God pleasure through fellowship.  God allowed each living soul the ability to choose whether it would obey or disobey His voice; but, He yearns for mankind to love Him freely and not out of mechanics or because of tyranny.

For the final touches on Adam's new life, God breathed life into him and man received God's Spirit.  The human SPIRIT is the supernatural part of man that is like God.  Even so, the human spirit is either that of God - as from the born-again experience - or, it is that of man.  Because of Adam's sin, the Spirit of mankind was separated from God.  The only way to reunite a holy intimacy between the creator of the universe and His prized creation is by the shed blood of a living sacrifice.  In the Old Testament, that shed blood was from bulls and goats and had to be repeated each year.  The blood of bulls and goats never seemed to fully purge man's conscious from the guilt of sin and so God knew that man needed a long term, once-and-for-all, sacrifice in order to be fully reconciled to a right fellowship with the Father.  So, He sent His Son, Jesus, to be that perfect blood sacrifice for all of our sins.  It is through the shed blood of Jesus - God's own Son - that mankind receives the Holy Spirit and is once again reunited with his creator, to commune with Him and live forever.  This was God's plan from the beginning.

Originally, by the Spirit, Adam was able to talk with God and understand His ways.  As Adam's Spirit received instruction from God, his soul and body would then come into agreement with God's plan through obedience; that is, until Adam and Eve decided to break covenant with God through disobedience in the garden.  It was then that God's Spirit was separated from mankind, leaving him to function as a body and soul who longed for the living Holy Spirit of God to fill the void in the center of his being.  All humans long to be complete. 

Left to ourselves, our soul will inevitably lead our bodies down the wrong path as every decision is based off of a self-centered motive of physical comfort.  Our soul only aims to protect the body, but has no basis for differentiating between good protection and bad protection.  Our bodies only aim to be fed.  Our bodies seek comfort - whether good or bad.  In conclusion, a human that is led by body or soul is destined for a life of brokenness and heartache.

God never intended for us to be a ship without a compass.  We were originally created to hear His voice and to seek His will daily.  This, however, can only be a reality through the power of the Holy Spirit; and even then, we have been given a free-will choice of whether we will obey God's commands or not.  Our body and soul must be trained to submit to the Holy Spirit as we grow in the knowledge and understanding of His Word.  That is why we are commanded to be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2).

So as we wash our minds with God's Word (Ephesians 5:26), our soul is strengthened for making right choices that will ultimately preserve the body according to God's wisdom, and not out of fleshly desperation.  Although the soul is the strong-willed seat who desires to control the total man, the born-again Christian who determines to be guided by the Holy Spirit (a much softer and more gentle voice) will enjoy more health and greater rewards in both body and soul.  This promise is for this life and for the life to come (1 Timothy 4:8).

When Jesus said the Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak (Matthew 26:41), he was explaining how the body and soul are constsantly vying for the leadership position of the human being.  Our spirit, whether the Holy Spirit of God or the unholy spirit of darkness, guides our soul through all eternity.  Therefore, we should always watch and pray that we might be able to hear the voice of the Lord, and then, that we would be determined to obey the voice of the Lord.

In the end, our soul and spirit will escape this earthly vessel of clay to either stand in the presence of God or to stand in utter darkness - forever.

We are a SPIRIT, who has a SOUL, who lives in a BODY.  We are three - yet, we are one.  And, on THAT DAY, all of our parts will be judged according to our salvation (marked by our acceptance of the blood of the Lamb) and rewarded for our good works, or the lack thereof.

The Lord wants everyone to be whole in BODY, SOUL, and SPIRIT.  He wants everyone to be restored to His original plan.  So let's seek to wash our minds with His Word, daily, as He transforms us into the perfect human that He originally intended for us to be... for all eternity! 

Galatians 5:16     This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.   

Deborah Ross
Speaker / Bible Teacher / Author / Singer
President / Executive Director of Operations
Deborah Ross Ministries, Inc.
www.DeborahRossMinistries.org

A Healthly Marriage

My prayer for your marriage is that the following things will become REAL as you study God's Word and press in to have a life-long marriage of joy, peace, intimacy and friendship with your spouse.

POINTS TO PONDER FOR A HEALTHY MARRIAGE...

1) A God centered marriage is made up of 3 - God, Man, Woman - Diagram: Draw a triangle and put God at the top!  Write your name on one corner and your spouses name on the other corner.  As you both look up to Christ and put God FIRST in all things... your marriage will be blessed! 

2) God is "for" your marriage! It "is" His will that you and your spouse love each other until "death do you part". He is on your side in difficult times!

3) You must be INTENTIONAL about keeping a marriage that is ALIVE and THRIVING!

4) FORGIVENESS is a commandment... not a suggestion!

5) Always pray: Lord change ME! Get out of a self-centered approach to Christianity and into a Christ-centered life-style that is willing to lay down all agenda's for the sake of your family. As YOU become more like Jesus, your behavior WILL affect the behavior of your spouse. LOVE NEVER FAILS!

6) Always speak (and seek) the TRUTH in LOVE. Take the masks off. Don't avoid issues. Live in truth yourself... and set a godly example for your spouse.

7) Be willing to leave and cleave by breaking generational curses and by pulling down strong holds that will sneak in to destroy a good marriage over the course of a life-time.

8) Men: Love your wife as Christ loves the church AND gave His life for her.
Some ways to lavish your love on your wife:
*LISTENING TO HER
*GIVING HER GIFTS AND/OR EXTRA MONEY FROM TIME TO TIME TO SPEND ON HERSELF FOR BEAUTY TREATMENTS & TAPESTRY OF SILK AND PURPLE (nice clothing)
*TAKING YOUR TIME IN LOVE MAKING - WOMEN ARE LIKE CROCK POTS... SLOW TO WARM UP
*ROMANCE GOES A LONG WAY - TAKE YOUR WIFE ON A DATE AT LEAST ONCE PER WEEK
*BECOME THE HEAD OF THE HOUSEHOLD UNDER CHRIST JESUS - DON'T BE A BOY - BE A MAN!!!
*GIVE HER SECURITY IN ALL THINGS - FROM FINANCES... TO PROTECTION... TO THE BEDROOM - SHE NEEDS TO FEEL SAFE WITH YOU
*ALWAYS FLEE THE APPEARANCE OF EVIL - PORNOGRAPHY, ALCOHOL & DRUGS, ETC. WILL KILL YOUR MARRIAGE - INTENTIONALLY AVOID THESE THINGS
*TAKE AN INTEREST IN THE HOME (Honey-Do)
*PRAY OUT LOUD WITH YOUR WIFE
* PUT YOUR WIFE AND CHILDREN ABOVE YOUR BUDDIES AND YOUR SPORTING EVENTS

9) Women: Submit to your OWN husband.
Some ways to lavish your love on your husband:
*GIVING HIM SPACE TO MAKE MISTAKES
*HONORING HIM AS HEAD OF THE HOUSEHOLD... EVEN IF HE IS NOT SURE OF HIS POSITION, YET
*DON'T WITHHOLD LOVE MAKING FROM YOUR HUSBAND
*DON'T BELITTLE YOUR HUSBAND
*BE HIS HELP MATE - HELP HIM TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN HIS CAREER AND REPUTATION IN THE COMMUNITY
*PRAY DEUT. 28 OVER YOUR HUSBAND
*COOK & CLEAN WITH JOY
*USE PLEASANT WORDS AND PLEASANT TONES WITH YOUR HUSBAND
*BE BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT - PRACTICE BEING BEAUTIFUL FOR YOUR HUSBAND
*LEARN TO ENJOY SOME ACTIVITIES THAT YOUR HUSBAND ENJOYS
*STOP WISHING YOUR HUSBAND WAS LIKE SOMEONE ELSE - INSTEAD, PRAY THAT GOD HELPS YOU TO DIG OUT THE TREASURE FROM WITHIN YOUR HUSBAND'S SOUL
*LOOK AFTER YOUR HOUSEHOLD WITH PRAYER AND WISDOM
*DON'T ALLOW YOUR CHILDREN TO COME BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND
*DO NOT BE A NAG!  BE A PRAYER WARRIOR, INSTEAD!

10) Remember - WORDS are powerful!!! Make sure you don't destroy your marriage (or your children) with hurtful words or a demeaning tone.

11) Take up your cross and follow Christ.
Every trial is an opportunity for a miracle!  Every burden is an opportunity for YOU to grow in Christ!

12) THE GRASS IS NOT ALWAYS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HILL!!! IT HAS TO BE MOWED, TOO!
Stop fantasizing about being married to someone else.  Make YOUR marriage work!!!

13) READ YOUR BIBLE - Don't depend solely on the preacher.  Don't get all of your spiritual reading from devotionals that someone else has written.  Read the pure Word of God and let the Holy Spirit speak directly to you. 

14) Cultivate your FAITH.
Faith in God's Word pleases Him. He loves you and He wants to do you good and not evil. Trust Him. (Perfect love cast out all fear.)

15)  Believe it or not, in a broken marriage it only takes ONE to bring about healing.  If one person in the relationship is willing to live out Christ before their mate and endure hardship for a season (could be years), God can soften the other person's heart and draw them to Himself.  I am a living example of ONE PERSON working to have a whole marriage in Christ Jesus. 

Read my book, Healing a Broken Marriage: Love Never Fails, to hear my full story and see how God can save your marriage... if you only believe and trust Him in all things.

16)  First and foremost, make sure that YOU and your SPOUSE are born-again, spirit-filled believer's in Christ Jesus.  If you have ANY doubt about the salvation of your spouse, this is the first place to begin your prayer for them.

17)  The "D" word does not exist. God hates divorce.  Don't think about it.  Don't let it be an option.


18)  Unfortunately, many of you reading this blog post have been married before. Be sure to repent of all wrong doing from your first marriage (stop blaming the other person) and ask God to forgive you for your previous divorce. Purge ALL bitterness.  Remember, God sees the heart so you can't fake forgiveness.  Cry out to Him daily until you have truly forgiven. 
 
Once you have come clean with God, trust him to give you blessings abundantly in the marriage you now have. The gospel is not a message of condemnation, but a message of TRUTH. God wants us to live in truth and to be free from the torment of sin.

Also, be sensitive to any children you may have who were left victims of divorce from your previous marriage. No matter their age, it is often very difficult for them to heal from the effects of a broken home. God would have you to be honest, transparent and sympathetic to their struggles in dealing with their own pain. Plus, some issues won't surface for many years. It could take a life time to bring healing in their life so be patient and don't give up on them. They need you!

THE PURPLE SECTION BELOW:  
From Family Fortress Ministries...
http://www.familyfortress.org/ 

(O) Divorce and Remarriage.


Divorce


We believe that the Bible gives three legitimate reasons for ending a marriage:


1) The first legitimate Biblical allowance for ending marriage is the death of a spouse (1 Corinthians 7:39; Romans 7:2-4).


2) The second legitimate Biblical allowance is fornication (Matthew 19:9) which is inclusive of all other sexual sins covered by the term porneia (fornication): homosexuality, bestiality, prostitution, etc.


3) The third legitimate Biblical allowance is desertion of a believing spouse by an unbelieving spouse (1 Corinthians 7:15). Of course when a believing spouse is deserted by a professing believer, the professing believer (unrepentant) can be disciplined by the church, so that the situation becomes that of a believer divorced by an unbeliever. So in effect any desertion can be, with appropriate church involvement, grounds for divorce. The Christian should not initiate divorcing a non-Christian, but should live graciously with their spouse to quietly represent Christ with an infectious demeanor, kindness, generosity, and service (1 Corinthians 7:15).


Remarriage:


In Scripture, whenever legitimate divorce occurs, freedom to remarry is assumed. When divorce is permitted, so is remarriage. The innocent party of a divorce due to adultery may remarry. Remarriage after one has been betrayed by an adulterous spouse does not constitute adultery. The person marrying a previously married spouse who was the victim of an adulterous person also does not constitute adultery. This is implied but not specifically proscribed in Matthew 19:9.


A believer who remarries after a non-Christian spouse divorces the believing spouse constitutes a legitimate marriage (1 Corinthians 7:15).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The section below is from me...

PHYSICAL ABUSE:

Physical abuse should not be tolerated. Get out. Protect yourself and your children. It doesn’t necessarily mean divorce. Use wisdom in such cases and ask God for His pathway to healing.

ADULTERY or SPOUSE LEFT YOU
Please keep in mind that God is able to restore a marriage after adultery AND He is able to bring that wayward spouse that left you back home again.  God is willing and able to save ALL from sin and to bring ALL into everlasting life. 

The question's you must ask yourself are: 

Am I willing to wait on the Lord? 

Am I willing to forgive? 

Divorce is NOT God's will.  He only makes a way of escape in certain circumstances in which one person is abandoned or betrayed. 

Pray for reconciliation.  Pray for forgiveness.  Pray for salvation.

In Christ,

Deborah Ross
Mother in Zion Series
Deborah Ross Ministries
http://www.deborahrossministries.org/

Prayer for Ministry

There is nothing like friends who love the Lord with all of their heart and have a deep knowledge of His Word.  I love it when these cherished friends take time out to bless you... just because!  Patricia Shankle is one of those awesome women of God who blesses my socks off.

You may know Patricia, already.  She and her husband, Randy Shankle, travel the country preaching the gospel and promoting their new book, The Protector: The Randy Shankle Story.  The Shankle's have recently been featured on the 700 Club, as well.

Patricia is a new member of the DRM Board.  The beautiful prayer (below) is something that she dropped in my facebook mailbox the other day.  As you read this prayer of encouragement, take it for yourself, too.  Let the words of this ordained minister speak to your soul as YOU take hold of the promises of God for your ministry, job, family, and life. 

Note from Patricia:

"I have been praying specifically for you and your ministry lately. I am believing God to advance and enable you through His Spirit, where there is no doubt to anyone of WHO is in charge. I pray, and I know you want this, that HIS GLORY will radiate through your words, song, etc. and that hearts will be pierced by His Spirit and they will know it is Jesus that they hunger for. That you will be used mightily in this present hour and that thousands will hear the message of hope and grace through your person and ministry. Not by our might or by our power, but by MY SPIRIT says the Lord. He will accomplish what He has set forth to do! He has called, He has chosen, He has anointed, He has appointed. He that has begun a good work in you, will not only watch over HIS WORD, but He will perform it, perfect it, bring it to pass, finish it! In the meantime.......just shout for joy because your redemption is drawing near to seeing these things coming to fruition. His mighty invisible hand is moving in the unseen realms, but the wheels are turning and this day you ARE going forward! The best is yet to be! Blessings and much love." - Patricia Shankle 

THANKS PATRICIA!

Be sure to find The Protector  or Patricia Shankle on Facebook.